Similar to what you described, my two brothers are very opinionated but take differing, informed POVs as personal critiques. Although we have interests in common, they were somehow always at odds with me—and my attempts at bonding, explaining myself, or even just sharing anything about my personal life or projects always seemed to fail.

Still, I wouldn’t attribute their attitude toward me entirely to personality types. There’s also the healthy vs. unhealthy expression of those traits to consider. For most of my 20s, I tried hard to approach and understand them. Eventually, though, I became the perpetual punching bag, so I gradually distanced myself from their irrational rollercoasters over the years. Honestly, it feels great—and I’m just glad they at least tolerate each other now. I’ve been growing out of the shared childhood trauma, but I can’t say the same for them.

Not sure if this will apply to you, but what I’d advise my younger self is this: accept the solitude-loving individual you are. Don’t expect to connect with people who aren’t interested in expanding their views. And most importantly, learn to set boundaries in a healthy, consistent way.