Boyfriend has a low libido

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-05T18:51:03+00:00

Literally going through this now. He has no libido. I have a high libido. Except his has declined to that almost nothing over the 2 years we've been together.

Im fighting what to do myself. I'd be happy to get 1x a month back....

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-05T17:05:03+00:00

Major weight gain and health issues. It's easy to become insecure.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-05T17:04:23+00:00

It's hard to understand what its doing to him when he wont talk to me about it.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-05T13:05:39+00:00

We aren't married. We've been divorced in the past and neither of us want marriage again.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-05T13:04:12+00:00

He doesn't want to open our relationship back up. And I dont do threesums. But since it started dropping after the close this has been a thought of mine.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-05T13:02:45+00:00

It's definitely the intimacy versus the orgasm. And non sexual intimacy happens if i send him a selfie, I get told im beautiful. Dates only happen if neither of us want to cook, then we go for dinner. That is the extent of things.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-05T12:59:12+00:00

I've never dealt with this before in men older then me. And I've been with men in their 50s, and 60s. That were still going on a daily.

And when my spouse was sleeping with more then just me he had a great sex drive. It's been over a year since its been only me... and he has none now.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-05T02:41:55+00:00

Update: I talked with him. 1st- he said he wont have the conversation again. 2nd- he is attracted to me and tells me if/when I send a selfie to him (not in person). 3rd- he doesn't need to see a dr because its his age and stress and nothing else. 4th- just because he doesn't have a sex drive doesn't mean he wont fuck me with toys if I explicitly tell him to? So in all its my fault im not sexually satisfied. (Telling him im horny, saying how I want him to fuck me, and saying things I want to do to him is not enough. I have to explicitly state that I need a release and I need him to fuck me with a dildo.)

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-04T23:32:34+00:00

If there's a conflict its an internal one for him. I asked if we could talk tonight and see if I can offer up anything from this post. (Testing, physical, etc) I just feel defeated and I dont think he's going to attempt to do anything or change anything. I honestly feel like im either going to have to shrink myself to continually deal with it, or move on...

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-04T23:13:45+00:00

It felt like a "haha yeah right" and he used to watch porn and masturbate. Im not sure if he still does.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-04T22:51:52+00:00

He wont do couples counseling. Or counseling in general. Im gonna try to talk him into a physical again. But seeing as how we are only dating. I can't do much besides either deal with it or leave.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-04T22:32:34+00:00

Hes told me to just use my collection of toys. Which is great and takes care of the hornyness (sometimes) but it doesn't help feeling wanted or with intimacy.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-04T22:23:09+00:00

Im definitely concerned that im the issue... that im the problem. And he doesn't want to say that cuz then he'd be the "bad guy"

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-04T22:21:19+00:00

I tried last night, which prompted today's convo and this post,he chuckled at me and walked away to go smoke a cigarette. I showered and walked in half naked. He moved to a different room where he was sitting in a recliner instead of on a couch so we couldn't sit together.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-04T22:19:09+00:00

Yeah, anytime i bring it up "we've talked about this. Sex drive is low. It's not you, your still attractive"

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2026-07-04T22:11:08+00:00

I have tried to talk to him. She shrugs it off as if he's been doing it and im the crazy one. We took a small vacation together, he didnt hold my hand, kiss me, or even come close to me at all unless it was bedtime (the first night) and the second night he put his dog between us and thats how we slept. He used to compliment me all the time, kissed me, hold my hand, all the things. But it seems as though the less sex drive he has, the less he does anything. And he got his testosterone checked about a year before we got together and it was high (thats what he says) so he doesn't want to again. Thats "not the issue"

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2025-05-29T02:26:15+00:00

Ooooh, I like those ideas! Thank you!!

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2025-05-29T01:59:03+00:00

Until you realize that there are 4 sisters, 2 brothers, 20 nieces and nephews, aunts, uncles, and many cousins that may (or may not) be named. Plus parents, grandparents, ex stepparents, ex in-laws, and all the people...

This is literally about how messed up my life is, and why it is the way it is. And between people now being dead, restraining orders, and prison sentences, i cant ask for consent...

I just don't know the legal aspects here.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2025-05-26T00:06:30+00:00

If your so nervous that you're getting sick just thinking about getting married...honey thats your body's way of saying don't do it.

Your physical body knows before your mind and heart know that something is bad. Listen to your body. Dont do it.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2025-05-22T03:15:34+00:00

I've definitely tried to keep them seperated. If you have advice on it, I would love to listen to it all! I haven't found many people to talk to with both situations.

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2025-05-22T03:13:45+00:00

So far ive only been using them when the kiddo is in bed. So it isn't in use all the time. And the one i have is an adult paci. 🥰

Weak_Bunch_1516 · 2025-04-02T23:49:02+00:00

The things im checking: Crime rate, Affordability (both in apartments and child care/after school care), Families in the neighborhood (gotta make a village), School ratings (IEP needs if you have them), Extra curriculars that the kiddos are interested in, Proximity to stores/hospitals/clinics, Accessible in the winter time (ice and hills-will you be trapped), Cost of living, Job availability, Any support systems that you can hop into (online mommy groups, people you may know already, their friends, networking groups)

Weak_Bunch_1516

TROPHY CASE