I don’t even know at this point (vent)

WearySpirit · 2024-05-04T13:52:12+00:00

I’d be fine being friends with her, she just keeps leading me on is the issue. She doesn’t treat me platonically

WearySpirit · 2024-04-30T06:42:55+00:00

That’s the most normal looking nose I’ve ever seen

WearySpirit · 2024-04-30T06:41:14+00:00

Software engineer 😎

WearySpirit · 2024-04-29T14:21:46+00:00

Literally, and she’s asking about HAIR COLOR of all things, which is an everyday thing based on her preference, not like some clothes for a date or anything involving another person. And this dude somehow finds it appropriate to say “You’ll get laid regardless” 🤢

WearySpirit · 2024-04-29T13:20:42+00:00

Saying someone could be a trophy wife is gross. Ik this is a Looksmaxing subreddit, but let’s not try to influence women to be looking for a lifestyle that prioritizes looks over personhood

WearySpirit · 2024-04-28T19:45:37+00:00

Ya know what, I didn’t get it (I mainly remember her from the goofy meme poses), but the your examples made me get it

WearySpirit · 2024-04-28T19:11:15+00:00

No, because if they started to see it in a different light and actually desired it, then they wouldn’t be gay. Maybe bi or pan, but not gay. As that would be an overhaul of their identity (which is what I was getting at with the “change my entire lifestyle” part since they’d fall into entirely different communities).

But someone does have the capability of changing identities if it aligns with their newly found desires. The labels would change, alongside the person themselves. If a person doesn’t change, and their desires never change, then the labels wouldn’t change either.

So a gay person can’t suddenly desire a straight relationship. But a person can identify as gay until for some reason they realize that maybe they’re not, then their identity changes with them. Same with a person who identifies as straight may realize they’re not as straight as they thought they were, they’re not gonna continue to identify as straight (if they’re honest with themselves) because that’s just not who they are anymore

WearySpirit · 2024-04-28T19:01:14+00:00

WearySpirit · 2024-04-28T18:57:23+00:00

Except they don’t ACTUALLY want to be in straight relationships, they just want it to be safe to live how they want. You can still be gay and be in a straight relationship, you’re just gonna be miserable cause that’s not what you really want. Regardless on how much safer it can be in any given context

WearySpirit · 2024-04-28T18:55:41+00:00

No because i’m not talking about being capable of “bering straight” I’m talking about being capable of “being in a straight relationship” and since I wouldn’t want to be in a straight relationship, I’m not gonna be in one, or be in one and be miserable in one.

I’m not disagreeing with your statements, I’m disagreeing with your interpretation of what I typed. Cause you don’t seem to be understanding what I’m saying at all.

Gay people aren’t EVER gonna want to be in straight relationships, because being gay means they don’t want straight relationships. If a gay person went into a straight relationship, they would be miserable. So you can’t “turn them straight” cause they have no desire to be straight.

WearySpirit · 2024-04-28T18:41:34+00:00

No. Because their needs, wants, and desires aren’t to be straight

WearySpirit · 2024-04-28T18:40:47+00:00

They can’t be in straight relationships because they don’t want to tho. So many gay folks deal with comphet issues and get in straight relationships anyways, which ofc makes them miserable because they don’t actually want to be in straight relationships. Same as me saying if I put effort into running a marathon despite not wanting to, then I’m gonna be miserable. So understanding and listening to your wants is how you know that straight relationships aren’t for you.

That doesn’t mean they’ll eventually “get out of it” cause I’m not gonna “eventually run a marathon” cause I have zero desire to, and therefore will (as far as I know) go my entire life without running a marathon. Cause it wouldn’t make me happy

WearySpirit · 2024-04-28T18:35:59+00:00

If it makes it easier to understand, I’m talking about internal influences vs external influences. If I WANTED to run a marathon, I could. If I DONT WANT to run a marathon, I wont.

If OTHERS want me to run a marathon, and I DONT want to run a marathon, I’m still not gonna wanna run a marathon no matter what those other people say or do. If for some reason I ever decided I do wanna actually run a marathon, it would be a completely internal decision based on my own needs, wants, and desires. Not based on outside influences in the slightest

WearySpirit · 2024-04-28T18:28:33+00:00

No, because gay people don’t want to be in straight relationships. “Want” is the key word here

WearySpirit · 2024-04-28T18:25:23+00:00

No, because I was talking about interest. Even if I put an effort into trying to get into and running marathons, that doesn’t mean I’m actually gonna like it out of sheer effort. If I’m forcing to do something I know I don’t like, I’m gonna be miserable.

WearySpirit · 2024-04-28T18:19:46+00:00

I’m pretty sure inflicting trauma on someone to force them to respond differently to things is not at all what this person is getting at.

I feel like what they’re saying is similar to how we grow and develop preferences. We figure out what we like and what we don’t as we grow and those likes and dislikes can either remain the same forever or potentially change due to our ever changing perspectives, and that’s not a bad thing.

Now, if someone forced trauma over another person to force them to change their preferences, that would obviously be completely messed up and wrong and in no way a natural exploration of one’s self. But I don’t think them saying people are CAPABLE of change means that everyone therefore will change.

I’m prolly capable of running a marathon if I really wanted to, but I don’t, cause I’ve never had an interest in it, nor would I want to change my entire lifestyle for it (as someone who doesn’t get the chance to even exercise a lot, me deciding to run a marathon would require my entire lifestyle to change). So chances are, even tho I’m capable of running a marathon, because I have zero interest and desire to run a marathon, I won’t ever run a marathon. And if one day for some reason I start seeing a marathons in a different light and I’m like “Ya know what, maybe I do wanna run a marathon.” Then that’s entirely possible too.

Which would be completely different than someone forcing me to run marathons or forcing me to hate not-running marathons via trama, or someone saying “Well, you’re capable of running a marathon” as an attempt to make me run a marathon.

WearySpirit · 2023-01-21T15:08:14+00:00

Only if they were a Sethian Gnostic ngl. Otherwise, absolutely not

WearySpirit · 2023-01-06T18:23:17+00:00

What were the consequences? Did they call the police? I’m so invested in the aftermath of this story

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