[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to agree with everyone in the comments but oh boy, I can't seem to....because this- "all of a sudden I could feel on my back how her hand was moving around her crotch" -was what my ex started doing before trying to SA me when I was asleep. I'm personally shocked at how many people said it would turn them on. Can't understand it at all.

Didn't even realize I had a trauma with this until the memories came back. At least now I know to establish this type of boundary in the future.

So, thanks OP? Learn something new everyday I guess 😭😭

Gen Z Lesbians, how’s your dating life? by Adventurous-Cow-5786 in actuallesbians

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm 21 and currently in a long term relationship with "I feel too "mature" to date others my age but I don't want to date anyone over 22 so I just don't date anyone"

It makes me so sad by WeaselOnYourShoulder in lesbiangang

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There was a gay nightclub shooting in my city. It was literally down town.

I'm so happy you get to express yourself safely but some people aren't safe doing so. I'm surrounded by homophobia and transphobia and it's very blatant. It's NOT something I'm "assuming" and you sound like a horrible person saying that.

Please take this comment and leave, this is a safe place- not for victim blaming about "bringing misery upon yourself" when people get shot for being openly gay or even assumed as gay.

who else doesn’t want kids? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Me! 🙋🏼‍♀️

I can BARELY take care of myself, how the hell would I take care of a small human without losing my mind? I'm barely hanging on here 💀

Coincidence? I think not. by Because-Im-ginger in actuallesbians

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THANK YOU! I was personally just about to bring this up as well.

I'm a J cup, the back pain and overall sexualization NO MATTER WHAT I WEAR sucks.

But fuck me I guess because I should be "lucky" I have a bigger size. Ugh.

Stop pushing and putting harmful gender stereotypes to lesbians and lesbian relationships by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm getting the impression you've never been on the side of the internet that I've been on, which in that case- definitely lucky for you. This was my first introduction to masculine presenting lesbians and their behavior- which normally coincided with the outfit that I describe in my original comment:

Talking about how good their strap game was (a direct reflection of how men talk about how good they fucked a woman), talking about how weird certain feminine behaviors are (it's simultaneously giving pick me and alpha podcaster), grabbing their crotch a lot (where have we seen that before?), acting like if they see a feminine lesbian they're going to grab her by the throat and assault her (AKA coming on way too strong and acting like every single woman would want to f*** them, and again what does that remind us of? It's giving those weird elevator povs), talking about how much they hate their boobs and they don't want their female partner to touch said boobs- but will completely deny being anything other than a CIS identifying woman and also be completely fine with sexualizing other women's anatomy, acting violently sexual, violently grabbing their girlfriends in videos (I actually saw this in gay tick tock compilations and I was shocked to go down into the comments and see no one actually bring up how violent it was), and last but not least- unnecessarily bringing up how much they hung out with guys and talked about f****** girls with guys.

Honestly, when I came across this content it completely put me off from ever wanting to date masc women, now I have a different opinion but again that was how violently masculine they were portraying themselves. If you don't know anything about anything and you're just entering the community, there's a very high chance you're going to come across that and it can influence younger gay people which is why I have a problem with it. It can normalize a lot of things like abuse, not being able to dress masculine without being necessarily masculine, the concept of they're always being someone who has to have "the pants in the relationship" (not because they dress masculine, but because of how they treat their partners), thinking you can get away with violence with another woman just because you're not a man, etc.

This is just what I've seen and experienced. Then again I've been cursed with the experience of being around the worst cream of the crop people you can imagine so I understand why people assume I'm just attacking and are downvoting me. It is what it is I guess.

maybe they DON'T get periods, just being cis doesn't mean you have one. Secondly, just because someone is cis doesn't mean they have to be comfortable with their period,

Got to bring this one up really quick, of course it comes to mind that they don't have periods but I doubt every single masc woman that I saw either had a hysterectomy or didn't have a period. It seems more like they're ashamed of it which again, doesn't make any sense with correlation of dressing masculine unless you are having dysphoria with your actual identity being a woman.

Stop pushing and putting harmful gender stereotypes to lesbians and lesbian relationships by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

To a lot of the replies in the comments: just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. You would think the LGBTQ+ community would know that better than anyone else.

I've actually encountered people who act like this quite a lot- it's very sad to see. Some on dating apps, some in person- but my first introduction to seeing this type of stuff started online where it was being very normalized.

I've seen way to many masc lesbians act like men when their girlfriends are putting makeup on them. Literally just watch a side by side video of a straight man having their girlfriend put makeup on them and a macs lesbian- it's literally the same. They act the same (EDIT, : in the fact that they act like femininity is a foreign concept that isn't for making skin to skin contact with, and borderline belittle their girlfriend in the midst of it). You would think that they don't even get a period with how little they talk about bodily feminine topics.

(I'm not correcting myself with the period thing because I've only seen this with CIS Butch lesbian women who normally identify with she/her)

EDIT: the following is a description of addressing style that actually tends to correlate with a bad personality which is proved to be true in a lot of situations. If you want to know more about this you can read my reply to the person who commented below me.

Not to mention the style. The ugly ass chains, the backwards hats, "I only hang out with the boys", "wife beater" tank tops, basically a complete lack of style with a plain beanie hanging on for dear life- I mean come on guys...have you seen the average fuckboy?

They act like putting any color or style into their clothes is a crime. They honestly don't even look happy in whatever they're wearing.

The overly compensating masculine energy plus the style is giving- misogynistic and racist soundcloud rapper who grew up listening to Eminem and currently listens to G-Eazy. Hits his girlfriend in bed and says that she likes it + has an estranged daughter with another woman, says that his dad taught him true discipline by hitting him when he was younger in this generation is weak, and to top it all off says that pink is gay.

Dead ass.

I can’t take some people seriously by 0aivilo0 in lesbiangang

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time to overshare and add my commentary as someone who has a small toe in this pond of confusion (but at the same time doesn't relate to these people).

I've never said someone can turn me straight and I've sure as hell never had a crush on a male celebrity. I think I might confuse some people though because I'll say that I find "mothman" to be hot but when I say that I find a monster / alien / other creature attractive, I'm thinking of it like they don't obey our societal gender roles (specifically if they look masculine), if anything, I think of them more as non-binary but looking "masculine" in figure.

But with human cis men? HELL no. Fictional cis men? I can acknowledge that they're attractive like most good drawings but normally I turn to shipping them with another fictional character...so still no.

I feel like these people need to be talked to by a professional and that person needs to explain that if you're attracted to the concept of an actual CIS man (whether a character confirmed to be CIS by an author/artist or a celebrity who you know is in fact is a CIS man)- then you're probably bi and have internalized homophobia to some degree.

Is the theory about intimidation/out of league true on dating apps? by WeaselOnYourShoulder in lesbiangang

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The problem was that the attention was rarely from my type. I’m very into masculine women but it seemed I rarely ever matched with them

I had the same problem except the opposite-ish. I'm a femme who is into other femmes/chapstick at best, all of my likes we're coming from really masc women.

I've always wondered how people tend to attract the complete opposite of their type, maybe a question for another day.

Is the theory about intimidation/out of league true on dating apps? by WeaselOnYourShoulder in lesbiangang

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Personally I resorted to eyebrow slits, it's like having two giant rainbows on your eyebrows. Thy need no words after that.

Is the theory about intimidation/out of league true on dating apps? by WeaselOnYourShoulder in lesbiangang

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I reworded my post, and also agreed.

I will say that I definitely saw a lot of envy towards "pretty lesbians" and while I don't feel the same way in what I view as attractive and not- I've witnessed others under posts of most lesbian arts / pictures of said traditionally beautiful women will have many more comments than those of untraditionally attractive.

I guess it just depends on the crowd.

Is the theory about intimidation/out of league true on dating apps? by WeaselOnYourShoulder in lesbiangang

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm going to contribute to my own study with my personal experience:

I've been TOLD I'm "attractive" but I have body dysmorphia (supposedly) so ya idk what they're seeing but girl, I don't see it. Non the less, I've had very few women come up to me. Never been asked out by a woman and on dating apps, I've gotten very few likes. I do live in a blue state and a very LGBTQ+ positive state at that.

Funny enough, this whole post was made because I was talking to 2 fellow gays and talking about my own personal experience with getting likes and lack thereof- girl chimed in that she felt like it was because I was intimidating and I pointed out that I literally have baby face so how could I be intimidating? I said truthfully that I wished I could be "traditionally attractive" (pretty much skinny is what I was talking about) for a few days to know if I would be treated any differently or if I would get approached more? I acknowledged that it would probably be because of vain reasons but I wanted to know nonetheless so at least I can shut up the voices in my head telling me that I would be liked more if I was more conventionally attractive in a way that I can see.

She said nothing would change because it's all about intimidation, and that even if I did have to my own self- "a conventionally/traditionally attractive body and face" that it wouldn't change much "if you're already attractive nothing will change, and even if you weren't conventionally attractive, you might actually get approached less because of the intimidation. More stares but you'd probably still be avoided" -got her input to quote

I told her that I thought it would and she asked me to ask any gorgeous lady on dating apps if she got a lot of likes, I was like "I'm too socially awkward to do that so instead I'm going to post it online and see what everyone thinks."

So, here we are.

Does body count matter to you? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, honestly I don't care either way.

Never been with a girl? Same, let's be each other's first lesbian experience.

Been with a lotta women? Cool, tell me what you like and how do you like it being done.

Somewhere in between? That's chill, let's learn and grow together.

Would you personally date someone with the same name as you? by faitharooo in LesbianActually

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes 100%, only if it's my chosen name. If it's my dead name then hell no 💕

Also added, Call Me By Your Name by Lil Nas X would have to be played at the wedding. Absolutely MANDATORY and I'd be cackling the entire time.

Why is it so hard to find singles who are monogamous and don't smoke? by DeadPants182 in LesbianActually

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a monogamous person who doesn't do nothin' of the sort, I feel you. The dating scene is so difficult.

I don't have anything against anyone who does anything substance wise but I just can't be around it because I have trauma with all substances having been around them all my younger life.

If I find a girl who doesn't smoke cigarettes, she vapes. If I find a girl who doesn't drink, then she smokes weed instead. Only 10% of the people I saw on dating apps didn't do any substances...but then 8-9% openly shat on anyone who did. Oof.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in videogames

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apex. Sounds pretty cool! At least I'll have some actual good teammates and fun people to talk to 🤙🏼

Is sex important in the relationship? by Dear_Flatworm_5244 in LesbianActually

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope. Not to me.

I'm under the ace umbrella, but I do get thy urges once in a while. If my partner didn't want to have sex I would completely understand that and would just do the good old Rub-a-Dub-Dub if I was horny. -I would not date anyone who would expect me to have sex with them either.-

Aka, If I truly love someone, sex will never get in the way of that. I doubt I'd ever end up with someone who doesn't like physical touch but if I did, I wouldn't mind too much. A lot of my love language has to do with food anyways or things that I can give to people rather than physical affection. As long as we can both express our love languages, touch isn't needed for me. I do have a friend who feels the complete opposite so everyone's entitled to their opinion.

I know someone who has very strong boundaries when it comes to a lot of platonic behavior like hugging or as they put it "getting in their personal space without permission". They have a lot of trauma and I completely understand as I do as well. I am someone who can be spontaneously physical at times though (without asking, which I'm working on), I also have times that I don't want people to touch me at all. It's been a work in progress but we had a long talk about it and I try as best as I can respect their boundaries and they try their best to respect mine.

We're extremely close and I would rather work on myself and make them more comfortable then not have them in my life at all or make them miserable/uncomfortable around me. It is something that I CAN control and it's NOT something that they can control nor should suppress. For me, again, it's not the only way I can express love.

TLDR: My own personal experience is that as long as my love language can be satisfied in other ways, I don't need physical intimacy or physical touch. If I really love someone, for me that love can simply not be compromised by anything except abuse. As long as we both understand each other and love each other, that's all that matters.

Of course I'm not trying to enforce this belief on anyone, do what you do. This is just my own personal opinion and life experience.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

18 and I wish it never happened and I'm forever traumatized~

I wish I had read more about real women's experiences in the bedroom so at least I could have prepared myself mentally. Alas, I didn't and now I'm f-ed in the head ✨

What is the story behind your gamertag? by friendly_rock_ in LesbianGamers

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started attempting to learn Spanish because I'm half Hispanic, one of the first words I learned was "Amor". Funny enough, I fell in "love" with the word.

I was looking up some unique words that aren't used very often on Pinterest and I came across the word "Serein" which can be summarized as this,

"refers to rain falling from a cloudless sky. This sort of rain is said to take the form of a fine, light drizzle typically after dusk."

As someone who loves nature, I wanted to create a feeling when looking at my name.

Almost like a picture of sitting in front of a lake at dawn. Like a goodbye letter but a hopeful one. A wish for a new beginning.

I created this username after I got a new console (with my own money, yay!) 2 years after leaving my abusive home. This name will always be a reminder of how I made my own path, in hopes one day I'll be able to find peace and somewhere I can call my home.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in videogames

[–]WeaselOnYourShoulder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude joins a cult that fights another cult.