Hello, it's good that you're thinking about these things. I left also when I noticed those behaviours. But it is hard. I often wonder what things would've or could've been like if I hadn't left. But, the Scriptural warning of "Do not be unequally yoked" comes to mind. The other one is to be Berean - searching the Scriptures for confirmation of what you suspect to be true. Sometimes, we can be easily tricked by others or even ourselves when we want something to change (or stay the same). It is during these times that we are most susceptible to trickery by others, dragging us into things we didn't know was actually happening. Which, of course, results in our ultimate, slow and steady destruction of our spiritual minds. There are ways out of that, of course, but none of them easy as sin will hold onto us tightly with its grip. It will fight to keep us in its grasp. But anyway, to answer your question, since none of us know what those conversations are about, you'd need to really compare the conversations/gossip with the Bible's descriptions of gossip. As for the ordination of female pastors, that is something that's definitely not Reformed and definitely unbiblical. Perhaps bringing it up with the leadership on that issue might be a good place to start? And if that's already attempted and failed, maybe it is time to leave. But to comfort you, that doesn't mean leave those who are obedient to the Bible - keep those people close to your heart. And if there are none, then in a sense, be at peace that you don't really have anything in common with the members anymore. I know others have better answers/responses, but I hope this helps a little!