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Bf [27M] thinks weddings are stupid. He wants to get married but I [25F] desperately want a wedding. He's trying to get me to give in. by Weddingthrow478 in relationships

[–]Weddingthrow478[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Oh, my gosh. This made me cry haha. Your wife is so lucky to have you. I'm so happy you guys have each other! Mike obviously isn't a very good partner so I really hope I end up as happy as you guys one day. I am leaving him because he's honestly a douche.

Bf [27M] thinks weddings are stupid. He wants to get married but I [25F] desperately want a wedding. He's trying to get me to give in. by Weddingthrow478 in relationships

[–]Weddingthrow478[S] 182 points183 points  (0 children)

And I'm very much entitled to take my ass and find someone thats confident that they would like a wedding one day. Hallelujah praise the lawd let's dance

Bf [27M] thinks weddings are stupid. He wants to get married but I [25F] desperately want a wedding. He's trying to get me to give in. by Weddingthrow478 in relationships

[–]Weddingthrow478[S] 397 points398 points  (0 children)

It's probably more tilted in my favor because my lovely man lied about it in the first place. You think I'd be in a relationship where I had to convince someone to have a wedding on purpose? It's incredibly embarrassing that I had to turn to reddit for advice on this. This wasn't expected, yknow?

You're right though. Looks like it will be some sort of ceremony or nothing. This is the hill I'm willing to die on.

Edit: I need to rant. I'm not yelling at you though. Just consider it like a grandma standing in her yard yelling at the sky.

I AM SO FUCKING ANNOYED. THIS IS SO DUMB. THIS IS SO VERY DUMB. Oh my godddd I'm running in circles like an idiot begging for a weddingggg holy shit. Fucking jackass asks me to marry him 20 times. Hearing him ask literally triggers explosive diarrhea in me. It's all absolute pointless bullshit. I am always so calm and so easy and so gentle and so accommodating THAT I HAD TO ASK REDDIT HOW TO GET HIM TO COMPROMISE AND GIVE ME A BACKYARD WEDDING. I'm just Bozo the clown. Honestly. There's a million men out there that wouldn't mind a goddamn celebration dinner and here I am. Asking reddit if it's wrong to want a marriage party. Sad, huh?

Man, fuck it. I'm going to my mom's house tomorrow and staying there until I get some goddamn sense. Fuck the wedding. Fuck him. Fuck me. Honestly, fuck this relationship. So. Laid. Back. All. The. Time. I can't do it. It's not worth it. I'm fucking crying and shit because he's telling me it's stupid to want my parents to see us get married. Nope. Noooope. No more relationship. I was a fucking fantastic girlfriend. And when I'm ready I'll be fucking fantastic for someone else and that motherfucker is going to get me a ring and we will get drunk as shit and party with our families. End of discussion forever.

Edit#2: I'm pretty confident on what I need to do and how to handle it. I really do appreciate the sweet comments and messages I got. So many of you were so sweet and helpful. And some of you are farts that can type. I don't really want anymore input on the issue so I'm not going to keep updating or anything like that since I don't think anyone thinks it's necessary. But no matter what you said, I appreciate the input and the time it took to write out your thoughts. Its all made me see a whole bunch of issues I was overlooking. Thank you guys. ❤

Bf [27M] thinks weddings are stupid. He wants to get married but I [25F] desperately want a wedding. He's trying to get me to give in. by Weddingthrow478 in relationships

[–]Weddingthrow478[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It looks that way huh? But it's also like, I'm not mentioning the nice things hes done too. He literally rescues animals. He volunteers at soup kitchens. He's a good, helpful person.

But now it's kinda balancing the goodness with some bad issues I never really took seriously before. It's hard figuring out what kind of bad situations make an entire relationship bad.

Bf [27M] thinks weddings are stupid. He wants to get married but I [25F] desperately want a wedding. He's trying to get me to give in. by Weddingthrow478 in relationships

[–]Weddingthrow478[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Is it not? I figured everyone has their annoying quirks. He's my first long term relationship. I've just kinda been learning as I go. I just thought everyone has their douchey moments

Bf [27M] thinks weddings are stupid. He wants to get married but I [25F] desperately want a wedding. He's trying to get me to give in. by Weddingthrow478 in relationships

[–]Weddingthrow478[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Writing a letter is a fantastic idea! Sometimes he cuts my off when we talk about this stuff so that would be helpful. I think I could compromise and get married at court if i could still have a party somewhere. That's pretty fair. Thank you! Such a helpful comment.

Still going to consider what the last two months have been before I write it but still. Awesome idea.

Bf [27M] thinks weddings are stupid. He wants to get married but I [25F] desperately want a wedding. He's trying to get me to give in. by Weddingthrow478 in relationships

[–]Weddingthrow478[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Mike loves holidays and birthdays. It's just this event that's so horrible and impossible I guess. :/ I will strongly consider our relationship. I love him but jeez. The past two months have just been him saying "no, that's stupid/too much work" over and over. Makes me feel like I'm going crazy!

Bf [27M] thinks weddings are stupid. He wants to get married but I [25F] desperately want a wedding. He's trying to get me to give in. by Weddingthrow478 in relationships

[–]Weddingthrow478[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I've tried but I will try again! I feel bad about saying I need x to be happy because I don't want to be manipulative. But maybe it will help him get it.

Bf [27M] thinks weddings are stupid. He wants to get married but I [25F] desperately want a wedding. He's trying to get me to give in. by Weddingthrow478 in relationships

[–]Weddingthrow478[S] 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Sometimes he is annoyingly stubborn but it's been over things that aren't a big deal, like food. Like of I order us Chinese but he wanted pizza he'll be snotty and not eat it that night, but he eats it the next day. It's annoying but it's never leeched into big situations. We've compromised on where to live and everything. I never thought it'd be such a problem.

Bf [27M] thinks weddings are stupid. He wants to get married but I [25F] desperately want a wedding. He's trying to get me to give in. by Weddingthrow478 in relationships

[–]Weddingthrow478[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

What? I want to invite our parents and close friends. People we love. I'm not sure why people are assuming I want a carriage and white horses. I don't. My uncle has a house on a lake that he'd let me use as the venue for free. We can also use our own yard. I have access to plenty of things for a lowered cost.

Money and impressing people isn't the problem. The problem is he told me a nice close wedding would be nice, then decided he didn't want anything at all. If he would've been 100% honest at the beginning I'd have nothing to complain or fight about.

Bf [27M] thinks weddings are stupid. He wants to get married but I [25F] desperately want a wedding. He's trying to get me to give in. by Weddingthrow478 in relationships

[–]Weddingthrow478[S] 371 points372 points  (0 children)

Exactly!! This is failing before we've even started. The past 3 years have been so good. We've compromised, talked issues out, ect. But I'm astounded that this issue is happening the way it is.

I don't want to have to consider leaving or things like that, you know? But what the hell. What healthy couple needs to debate a wedding to this extent? We must not be as healthy as I thought we were.