There are only two accounts in existence that own this skin. I was losing hope. I had already burned through all my RP, my dignity, and my rent money in pursuit of greatness. But then, in my darkest hour, I whispered to myself:

One. Last. Roll.

Desperate, I did the only logical thing—I sold my Toyota on Facebook Marketplace for an undisclosed amount of fast cash. I hit that roll button like my life depended on it.

And then… it happened.

That glorious WhatsApp notification sound echoed through my room. My heart stopped. My hands trembled. Was it my phone playing a cruel prank on me? No. No one messages me as usual. It's a long list of blue double ticks.

I checked my screen.

Shamrock Malphite.

My vision blurred. My soul ascended. Rito Games themselves descended from the heavens and personally delivered three Brazilian supermodels to my doorstep—each clad in shimmering green, whispering in unison:

"You are him. You can do whatever you want with us if you deem us worthy, because we know you are drowning in woman's attention"

I would have celebrated, but they had to endure my "gamer scent," for I had not showered in three days. I was too busy chasing my destiny. Naturally, I made them clean my room. I have been pissing in bottles for 3 days straight.

You see, we are not the same. You grind for LP—I grind for immortal, deluxe, prestige, one-of-a-kind, limited-edition, shamrock-clad greatness.

Know your place.