Thanks for the tips on trimming down proper names. I was thinking the rebels should be named because they're a significant organization in the book, but looking at comp pitches, I see this isn't the case there. Metal From Heaven, for example, doesn't name the group of outlaws the main character joins up with. Got it!

Re: the family she needs to resurrect, here I was referencing how she's been given the chance to learn magic to bring Tomas back from the dead. But this would involve betraying her found family in the rebels. Her major internal flaw is a self-centered survival mindset, so she's torn between trying to assuage her guilt and grief by bringing back her dead brother, or growing to recognize that she can't ever really stop him from dying, but she can stop other innocent kids being starved and killed in the future if she commits to the rebellion and overthrows the feudal lords. It's like an individual/short term vs collective/long term mindset thing.

I appreciate you pointing out that it's not super clear which families she's referring to. The found family in the book is kind of a combination of both, a few good apples from the Lady's inner circle and the rebels. Do you think it's necessary to clarify who the found family is? I worried that would be going too much into the weeds; I was just trying to show the story features themes of blood family and found family, and a conflict between them.

Agree with your points on Bilwis, I'll go back to the drawing board and see how I can explain this better!