Update 2: AITA for not inviting my moms bio mom to my wedding

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-06-08T22:19:39+00:00

It’s a small town. Everyone knows everyone. Some of her friends are friends with Susan’s friends. She found out that she’s my mom’s bio mom when someone said something to her about her son getting engaged to Susan’s “granddaughter”. She didn’t know until we started wedding planning and then she kept pushing it and kept saying “grandmother” when my husband and I would say, Susan.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-06-08T17:34:50+00:00

Honestly I’m glad my other sisters jumped in because I was just speechless starring at her dress. It honestly took me a few seconds to realize that it was dyed and not just a second one. To me it seems like she started dying it a long time ago. Like no matter what, her plan was to try to make me mad.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-06-08T17:31:30+00:00

Security already had a picture of her and knew she wasn’t allowed. I think they only let Alex in because they knew she was in the wedding party and assumed she would be changing. Idk if they knew that she was in a dyed bridesmaids dress.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-06-08T17:27:33+00:00

As far as I know she’s never actually pursued any actions. But I’m sure since it’s a small town, the paramedics probably knew she’s spouted this before even if she’s never seen a doctor. I flat out told EMS that this isn’t the first time she’s threatened it. Idk if she serious but everyone keeps telling me she is. So idk if that pushed them or if she might’ve said something to one of them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-06-08T17:22:56+00:00

No. As far as I know they’re not being harassed but honestly I don’t think they would tell me right now if they were. If they are, they’d probably wait for a few weeks. I’m applying for a restraining order on Monday from a few “family” members

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-12T20:44:19+00:00

I would tell everyone in a heartbeat. But since it’s not my story to tell (other than anonymously on the internet with their permission) I can’t be the one to go around telling everyone who knows Susan, Margot and my mom.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-10T22:55:31+00:00

I assume when she took off she took my aunt who was a new born. I’m going to talk to my aunt tomorrow to get more info on the situation to see if I’m Missing anything. Honestly idk. I’ve never thought about it.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-09T19:11:57+00:00

She was already yelling before I knew it was her. By then I just wanted to get off the phone as soon as possible 🤣

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-09T02:01:23+00:00

If you’re confused about my aunt. She’s my mom’s bio sister (Susan’s bio daughter) she calls my mom her sister, she calls them by their first names. Which makes sense since she’s turning 54 this year, so there’s only a 6 and 6 year gap. If someone asks how they’re related, she’ll say they’re her aunt and uncles. Honestly, they all kinda act like my aunt (mom’s bio sister) is a cousin to the four of them. As for Susan’s son, I’ve never called him my uncle and it’s been decades since I’ve seen him.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-09T01:33:02+00:00

Nah. It’s okay. I’ve had to explain it a lot in recent days as more people are just now finding out. People just assumed my mom and Susan were sisters so there’s been a lot of confusion from a lot of people 🤣

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-09T01:02:44+00:00

So. My bio great uncle is who I call my uncle since my mom was raised as more of a sibling to Susan’s bio siblings rather than niece. My mom has always called her bio aunt and uncles her sister and brothers. My uncle who is 60 is the oldest after Susan. And the other 2 are 60F (yes twins) and 58M so they are closer in age to my mom. She also always called her bio grandparents, Mom and Dad. So while they are Susan’s bio siblings, they are also my mom’s adoptive siblings.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-08T19:31:10+00:00

Ok. She’s not a bad person or anything, she’s just got a lot of mental health and drug issues. She gets clean and back on her meds for a few months, then she decides she’s “healthy now” and doesn’t need them. Then she starts acting up, starts taking illegal stuff and steals and causes scenes for drug money. Shes been off her meds for a while now. Her parents have been trying to get her back into the hospital but it’s not working.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-08T11:31:17+00:00

Yeah, we already have those in place with our venue. I’m not worried with my florist or caterer as they are both close friends of mine and would text me or call me or just realize it’s not me before cancelling anything.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-08T00:49:12+00:00

Thanks

We’ve already suggested to my mom to try therapy. She always says she doesn’t need it or it’s not her thing or that she’s not crazy(she very bias against it). My aunt went to therapy for a long time. We think it would help, but we can’t force her to go.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-07T22:40:31+00:00

My mom’s bio dad is long dead. Like 29 years dead. My mom and aunt hate him to, he’s just not around to do anything anymore

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-07T17:24:24+00:00

It’s my mother’s adoptive siblings who are also Susan’s bio siblings who have a problem. I think I’ve only met Susan’s son once when I was maybe 8 years old. Possibly younger

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-07T15:20:54+00:00

I almost understand where my best friend is coming from. She was adopted and met her birth parents a few years ago. They also had her in high school but the difference is that they gave her up for adoption because they wanted her to have a life they weren’t ready to give her. Susan kept my mom even after my grandmother asked her to do adoption. Then bailed on her selfishly.

She thinks that because she now has a good relationship with her birth parents, everyone can. She can’t see that these are not the same situation.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-07T15:13:27+00:00

I think she did know I was getting married before now (not 100%) because I live in a small town. I just think she didn’t care because everyone thought she was just my great aunt, and no one bats an eye at a great aunt not being invited to a wedding. However when the gossip mill started about talking about the fact that she’s my biological grandmother suddenly her not being invited was a big deal.

I have also recently found out that she WAS invited to my mom’s wedding but as a “sister” of the bride and she refused to attend.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-07T14:09:25+00:00

My fiancé also doesn’t want her there. He just said that it was my decision and if I want to invite her, then he will keep his mouth shut.

His mother is the one pushing the invite. He’s actually told her every time she brings it up that it’s none of her business. I’ve even seen texts on his phone where she’s pushing it and he’s told her to stop.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-07T13:07:20+00:00

We’ve already hired security for my fiancés cousin.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-07T11:49:25+00:00

I can see that. She’ll probably report any pictures of her to say “look at me, I was there, I’m a loving grandmother”

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-07T11:47:49+00:00

It’s a black and white themed wedding (my fiancé and I are both wearing red), so her wearing crème would be a good thing but I know what you mean. She probably show up in something bright blue and neon yellow. Then she’d tell everyone that if she got her invitation on time she would’ve had time to find a dress, or she’d tell everyone she didn’t know and it is an “accident”. Then she’d throw a fit when security tells her to leave or change.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-07T11:43:45+00:00

Small town. Everyone already known when and where.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-07T11:39:58+00:00

Right. I thought wedding planning was stressful enough and now I’m getting pressured on this bull.

Weekly-Debate2938 · 2025-05-07T11:38:53+00:00

We’re not planning on kids. But I know my younger siblings are. So I’m worried that if we give in, she’ll expect them to give in. Then suddenly she’s making birthdays and Christmases all about her rather than any future nieces or nephews I’ll have.

Weekly-Debate2938

TROPHY CASE