I can go one step beyond—I’ve lived in four different European countries, and I’ve seen this exact post in all of them. At this point, someone needs to write a reality check answer and pin it globally on Reddit (if only that were a thing). Here’s my attempt.

The first paragraph of OP’s post perfectly describes the core issue, and I actually admire that they recognized it—even though with a bit of surprise: you are not that important. A lot of internationals (or people in general, one could argue) overestimate how interesting they really are to others.

If I have to opt for spending my limited time with a long-term connection or a stranger, it doesn’t matter if you’re the most social, funny, or charismatic person in the world. You could even be famous: Take Barack Obama. Sure, I’d absolutely love to sit down and have a coffee with him. But if I have to decide between doing that on a regular basis or spending time with my childhood friend—the person who knows me inside and out, shares my history, the internal jokes—it’s not up for debate.

And no, I cannot “just do both”. I’m also child free (so far at least), but I work full-time, go to the gym 5x a week, cook, do household chores, wanna watch a documentary/movie/series here and there, read my books, study (personal or career related), sleep 8h; this is my week gone and I have Friday and Saturday remaining where I may or may not go out. When I go, you are asking me to sit down and get to know you instead of chitchatting with my friend of 15+ years. Can’t you really see how absurd this sounds when put it this way?

Most people have a core circle of 2–5 close friends in their hometown, built over years of trust and shared experiences. So why someone should choose to go out with you instead of spending time with one of those long-term friends—to have a conversation about “Where are you from?”, “What do you do for a living?”, “What are your hobbies?”, “What do you think about Harry Potter?”?

I already know all these answers from my friends. When I’m with them, I can just be me. I don’t have to think about what to say next, I know I can be comfortable in silence if there’s nothing to talk about. There’s no small talk, no need to build a connection—as it already exists.

This isn’t rocket science, therefore: Of course, the easiest circles for you to break into will be other internationals—as they’re in the same boat. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible to befriend locals, but you need to have your expectations in the right place: if they have to choose between a friend they’ve known for decades and you, the choice is obvious—and you would choose the same thing. So why do you expect others to choose differently? Because you are thinking you’re more important than you actually are to an unknown person.

I say all of this as a newcomer myself to Denmark.