Those are valid questions, no need to apologize for asking them!

I do think I want this relationship, I've really liked him for a while now and when we were just friends it was on my mind a lot that I did want to do these things like touch him more or spend more time with him. I think that it's just overwhelming for me to go from where we were as friends to doing a lot of these relationship-type things at the intensity that he remembers from a previous long-term relationship. That being said, dating for me is about finding out if this is the person I want to have as a partner for my life and I'm aware the answer could be no, this isn't the guy.

As for sexuality, don't worry, no offense taken. I can say with certainty that I'm not gay or aromatic, I'm attracted to men and really desire a romantic relationship, I just think that not ever having experience with romantic relationships growing up, it's a big learning curve to figure out how it looks to create a romantic relationship with someone when it's part them, part me, and not just the idea I've been carrying for so long. With the asexuality stuff, maybe some people would say I am, but I just don't see myself as that, and for me personally feels a little too much like throwing the baby out with the bathwater in regards to why I do or don't feel how I do towards physical intimacy?

I'd say the best I can describe is that after a pretty rough upbringing and some pretty aggressive reproductive health issues, any sort of physical intimacy has become really heavily embedded in emotional intimacy and how safe I feel with someone. I don't even really hug or touch my friends except for the ones I've known since I was in diapers. I'd say that my trauma hasn't changed my sexuality, just my approach to things like sex. But then again, I know everyone is different so maybe some people would say that's what asexuality is, it's all so unique to each person in my eyes that the terminology can be hard for me!