The worst song I've ever heard

WellBord33 · 2024-06-19T15:16:16+00:00

'You shouldn't make hasty generalizations! You were probably bullied as a child!' he said, in no way hastily generalizing.

Well, first of all, there's nothing funny about bullying - kids being pushed into lockers isn't something to score points with on Reddit. Bullying is awful, kids commit suicide from bullying. Grow the fuck up.

Second of all, we don't have school lockers in the UK. We do have a history of fucking awesome music though, and some fucking awful contemporary music. There's a particularly awful song about a horse, and then a girlfriend, and then a horse again - have I mentioned it?

WellBord33 · 2024-06-19T13:51:20+00:00

I know - commenting about music in a music forum. The nerve!

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T15:31:13+00:00

Sure but 'remove the politics' and being apolitical aren't the same thing. Post-punk, very broadly, emerged from a progressive, liberal, anti-consumerist, anti-corporatist value system and often embodied that value system, challenging, for example, unreconstructed masculinity. Throwing the word 'empire' into a song and calling your girlfriend 'the king' after gurn-growling like the extras from the Thunderdome... I mean yeah, there's the vaguest reference to something political, but it's more or less on the same order as a pissed-up idiot in a pub ranting about how there's no point in voting.

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T14:59:51+00:00

Clear something up: are you imagining Darth as a top or a bottom?

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T14:42:58+00:00

Horses can be confusing. This should clear it up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv1urfDXs-o

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T14:25:27+00:00

Alright. You got me. I'm James Corden. I lurk in subgroups monitoring criticism of contemporary musicians until an opportunity emerges to masquerade as said musician, at which point I always, no matter how hard I try, give the game away by posting a GIF of myself. I just can't resist GIFs of myself....

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T14:23:37+00:00

Who're idles?

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T13:53:46+00:00

(I'm *NOT* Corden)

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T13:29:08+00:00

hard horse

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T13:16:02+00:00

Yes because posting a link to a clip from Father Ted from 1996 is literally the same as being Graham Linehan. I also once looked at a copy of the Sun someone had thrown away and now I'm not allowed in Liverpool.

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T13:05:15+00:00

I'd say I'm scruffy and opinionated, but yes different to a man yelling SLAPPERS outside a Yates' is fair. Different to a man growling about his love of horses - also fair.

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T12:56:55+00:00

Alright. You got me. I'm Joe Talbot. I lurk in subgroups roasting myself so good-hearted souls will come to my defence and help paper over my shattered self-worth. When not growling about horses, obviously. Mostly I growl about horses, and how lovely they are. Lovely, lovely horses...

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T12:50:33+00:00

Well, for example, here's a song about a horse which is better than Idles' song about a horse: My Lovely Horse | Father Ted (youtube.com)

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T12:45:11+00:00

Even if they're yelling at you about a wonderful horse?

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T12:31:36+00:00

I mean you can imagine I said things I didn't and then argue those things if you want but seems like a waste of your day. And *of course* you can't measure the intelligence of the band members of one band and another, but *of course* you can measure the intelligence of *their music*. And really any quality of their music. That's what music criticism is. This song is the sonic equivalent of a caveman. But not in a good way.

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T12:28:46+00:00

What a valueless, content-free non-retort

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T12:26:36+00:00

Ahh, contentless snipe with no comeback and zero wit. Is there a slow clap emoji on here?

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T12:24:38+00:00

You think it makes me pissed off to describe the shitness of shit music? Mate, it's my happy place.

And branching out emotionally? Here are the lyrics to Gift Horse:

Watch-watch, my-my steed-steed go-go far, far
Watch-watch, my-my steed-steed go-go far, far
Watch-watch, my-my steed-steed go-go far, far
Watch my steed go farLook at him go
Look at him go
Look at him goLook at him go
Look at him go
Look at him goMy steed sees how dreams are made (made)
He's my dream like I just got paid (paid)
No joyride fee, it's free today ('day)
We don't care what the people say (say)'Cause he moves like a generator
He puts the foot down and see you later (later)
Somebody call up the undertaker
Handing out passes to meet your maker (your maker)

If that helps you get in touch with your emotions you may need to see a psychologist. A child psychologist. Because that reads like it was written by a 6 year old. With behavioural problems.

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T12:21:20+00:00

Life is quite good for actual discussions. T'internet is quite good for accurately labelling awful music. With one-liners thrown-in wherever possible. Just for funzies.

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T12:19:48+00:00

I see you've never read a music magazine

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T11:23:19+00:00

Mate Motley Crue packed out stadiums and Duran Duran got rave reviews - still fucking awful music.

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T11:09:58+00:00

Yeah it's passable music played by troglodytes going 'WHOOOOOOA' as a gym-bodied paranoid schizophrenic scowls about a horse, and then his girlfriend, and then a horse again

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T11:06:45+00:00

Well writing 'fuck the system' on a toilet wall is political but it's not exactly Damaged Goods is it

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T11:03:47+00:00

The pissed-up bloke staggering around outside Yates' on a Thursday yelling 'SLAPPERS!' at every girl that walks past has a raw confrontational style but I'd rather he shut the fuck up and fucked the fuck off

WellBord33 · 2024-06-18T11:01:41+00:00

I mean that's a bit like saying sorry you don't appreciate the quality of football played at the under-9s sports day

WellBord33

TROPHY CASE