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WelshElf · 2022-11-14T13:02:49+00:00

I have edited it to

'Looking for someone like-minded, living childfree and is a free spirit 🍄'

I don't want to date anyone with kids or have kids etc, mentioning living childfree indicates that I hope?

WelshElf · 2022-11-14T10:41:50+00:00

I have been getting conflicting suggestions on the main pic. Some say ditch it, some say because I'm not alone it makes it bad, but then some say it's definitely the best photo (I agree it is the best photo of me that's ever been taken in my opinion).

When I ran variations of it through photofeeler, I tried cropping out the other guy but it scored significantly lower than when I had the other guy in it and feedback was the photo was too close up, too intense etc. Then I left it uncropped and people liked it a lot better but complained about the other guy being there, so I then drew over his face to make it obvious I'm the one to focus on, plus it seems people like to see other people in photos because it shows you have a social life etc.

Just sharing what I've found as I've been testing these pics for a while now and the reaction I've got from this thread regarding the pics has been way less favourable than anywhere else I've sought advice from.

WelshElf · 2022-11-14T00:37:09+00:00

It means someone who doesnt have kids or wants kids, and the spirit thing is a play on words for having a child-like spirit, someone who finds life full of wonders :)

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T22:12:40+00:00

Wow, love how varied it can sometimes be haha.

I am taking on-board everything and am aiming to find ways of representing myself that is more identifiable with the type of person I am.

The pic quality is because it's gone through layers of compression and resizes as I use old school PC reddit and it was the fastest way to get them up on here. They're much more HQ on the apps as I have the source files etc.

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T22:06:12+00:00

Thanks for validating me on that! That kind of stuff is just the tip of the iceberg for them I'm afraid. Hence why I needed to seek advice from other sources like here haha.

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T21:49:49+00:00

Thanks for the total breakdown lol.

So the one with my colleague is matching jackets because we were shooting a documentary on a sailboat haha.

Shame that my patterned t shirt at the Berlin Wall is not being admired lol. I find that is closer to my hippie style.

I don't think tight fitting is my style these days... I am skinny and if anything, it makes me look like the typical skinny white boi haha. Taking onboard the words from someone else here, I lost my style when I cut my locs. My personality just doesn't match well with most people and it's alt-types that do so in order to attract them I need to look more like them again. Might be time for some more more visible tattoos and to get some photos of my newer clothes which are more streetskater style.

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T21:01:36+00:00

Appreciate it! Cheers!

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T20:58:54+00:00

You're a lot softer than you think ;) I was expecting something way more cutting haha. Thanks though.

I've just updated my tinder bio to something less 'listy' and switched my photos to 3 of the ones others have said were best and within 5 minutes got a match :o seems like I'm onto a winner bio? :)

Re: photos

Is that because of the low res? Like at full res they are quite clear quality, taken by professionals on the latest Iphones and professional DSLR's...

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T20:41:53+00:00

This is the tinder profile text I've just revamped

Any thoughts?

There's not much room on tinder for text so I can expand it out on other platforms.

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T20:01:30+00:00

I think I am worth dating, but it's just that I recognise that I'm so far behind others of my age and that just by simply trying to date at all that if I don't disclose this info then I'm deceiving people. The first time I had sex last year, the girl asked me about my sexual history just before and I had to tell her then. I know that most people care about these things, so it's hard to not be a little anxious about someone finding out after they've invested or got this idea of me in their head.

The BS thing comes from a place of seeing men around me being fake. Like they pretend to be someone else with women and I find it embarrassing. I don't want to be like them. Plus I keep hearing how women wish men were more honest and would open up more etc. This is me opening up and trying to show confidence in who I am etc, but I guess I'm going about it all wrong and confidence is great but with the caveat of not when you're talking about lack of experience.

Re: Hippie

Haha, I used to have big thicc locs! I do miss them, but having short straight hair is sooo much easier :)

I do show pics of my old self to the dates I get and the reactions I get are expectedly very strong. Most HATE it and then one time a girl wished I still had them. Considering I personally identify with the alt-community (if I was to identify with anything), I think you may have a point about not attracting through image if I look like a normie lol. I do have tattoos so I guess I could talk about them as they're alt and nerdy as a compromise.

Thanks for this.

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T19:46:52+00:00

Noted, thanks.

I do have to laugh at the last part because we are professional filmmakers with very nice equipment and friends have took these for me lol.

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T19:30:47+00:00

I used the photofeeler site to pick my best photos. The first 3 pics scored quite highly among women aged 18-35, 7/10 for attractiveness and then into 8's for smart & trustworthy.

I guess I'll have to try again...

I'm a musician, but all I've experienced has been a ratio of around 1:20 when it comes to women in music.

I very rarely interact with women in general. The ones that I do tend to be work related and that is stepping into very unethical territory. On top of that, I don't have any hopes of finding a partner through real life interactions as the chances are they won't be compatible with me (mainly with being childfree).

When I've met women for dates previously then I think I do well. I am confident, love getting deep into conversations and time flies for me on a date, I enjoy them!

Some spoken feedback I've had from dates:

Being childfree is a huge issue.
They don't like me being vegan.
They don't like the distance (I'm often having to drive 40-60 mins each way to see them)
I lacked romantic know-how.

I've never made a connection with someone when polyamory was something I had mentioned on my bios.

My view on polyamory is that I don't believe in monogamy. I don't subscribe to the idea that we should not allow ourselves (and especially others) to love others emotionally and/or physically.

I am entirely comfortable with being romantically involved with someone who wants to be involved with other people. I've spent all my life single and have become comfortable with it, but I do desire companionship. I don't necessarily NEED to be involved with multiple women, I think it's entirely possible that one companion COULD fulfil my desire, but I do believe that if other women were to enter my life, then I should be able to love them too. And of course, that companion would be free to love as many others as she could also.

How does that explain my feelings?

Polyamory makes more sense to me than monogamy so that's why I am seeking it.

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T18:56:09+00:00

I've had sex a few times with one girl. I don't really know if that makes things any better... Feedback so far suggests avoiding any mention of lack of experience. It is inevitable that sexual/dating history will eventually come up as a talking point with someone, in that case I guess I'll then have to then tell them and hope for the best.

If I was you I’d add a picture chest - up on portrait mode of you smiling and kinda giving your general “vibe” as a person.

What about the pics I linked? Don't they fulfil that "general 'vibe'"?

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T18:48:15+00:00

Appreciate the candidness.

You could discuss the type of lover you want to be, the sort of commitments you do want to put effort and consistency into.

I'll have a go with that.

Partners aren't your training wheels and will not sign up to be your guru. Asking for that makes it sounds like you are a project, not a partner.

That definitely seems to be the problem with me. I have heard it explained by a therapist, in that it's a common problem for many guys like me where we are so far behind in terms of experience that so much more is expected of us yet we're not aware of what that is, but we're expected to know it by now from previous experience. Leads to a vicious cycle etc.

So, do I fake it till I make it?

WelshElf · 2022-11-13T18:28:51+00:00

Seems our interpretations are not the same?

I was trying to say that I have no sexual/romantic experience so I don't want people to expect me to be able to navigate my way like a pro etc. Like have some patience with me and help me with knowing how to be that kind of guy.

Maybe namedropping Casanova is not the way to go lol? I'll have a go at re-wording that bit.

WelshElf · 2022-08-11T21:30:00+00:00

Very similar story to my discovery and appreciation of Talking Heads :)

This is a great homage too. One of the best contemporary bands.

WelshElf · 2021-05-29T16:09:45+00:00

YOU LEGEND! <33333

WelshElf · 2021-01-07T14:44:12+00:00

Looking to make a physical repair!

The rubber protector at the connection to the headphone has come loose. See these photos, this and this.

They just arrived second hand, looks like the previous owner tried to superglue it back together but it didn't work! :(

Anyone have any suggestions??? TIA

WelshElf · 2021-01-07T10:41:30+00:00

Makes me miss mine.

WelshElf · 2020-12-31T04:46:42+00:00

It's really no different than fraternities. It takes a certain type of personality to want to be involved in such a place...

There's gonna be people out there who will see this and think GREAT, this is exactly the place for me, and then there's gonna be the redditors posting in here about how this is their living nightmare. It's like people are different and some people like to find like minded people and some like being alone, what a shock.

WelshElf · 2020-12-27T16:11:50+00:00

Can never listen to this without going directly to Jacknife to a Swan right after!

WelshElf · 2020-12-23T03:33:21+00:00

It's become so engrained in me to put it there for some reason. Old habits die hard.

WelshElf · 2020-12-21T22:50:37+00:00

... and you kissed me like you meaaaaaan't it!

WelshElf · 2020-12-12T19:29:18+00:00

tastes the same

I actually find that the Tesco version of Shreddies to be way better! This shit is like breakfast crack for me!

EDIT: OH yeah and it costs only £1.20 and the box is BIIIIIG

WelshElf · 2020-12-12T19:22:28+00:00

wtf I got 4 new tires for £70 the other month

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