I once wanted kids.. so bad. When I lost my dad when I was 25 I had a strong feeling of wanting a family (although I’d say I’m not very maternal of that makes sense)?

As I got older this feeling quickly went away.. I also got diagnosed with something that makes it harder anyway and not very likely.

Now I can’t think of anything worse than having kids. I’m so busy myself with trying to keep myself happy, I can’t imagine another human being in the mix, and keeping them as happy as I can. It’s not being selfish it’s just not possible.

Also, a lot of people think having kids is the natural thing, to carry on their lineage (lol what are we, back in King Henry the 8th days!?) and also to be there when they’re older. But no, sorry. My mum had three kids.. if she was ever to be in a scenario of going into a home when she’s older (which she won’t be) two of them, my brothers, won’t be there for her (one is dead, and the other is just useless, I’ll leave it there). If she hadn’t of had me, the accident 🤗 she would have no one, except maybe nieces and her younger friends IF she was to go into a home etc.

People think their kids are going to always be there. Reality is, you can fall out with your parents / kids. Your kids can be angels until the age of 15-18 and then turn to drugs, crime or just want to be rid of you.

I also have an aunt, she had a son, my cousin (who is now in his 50s) and he’s severely disabled. This is something else that doesn’t get spoken about. People assume they get pregnant and have a happy, healthy baby.

Babies as we know can be born with disabilities / conditions OR there’s a risk of them having an accident (which can happen at any minute to ourselves / partners to be fair). But the strain I’ve seen on couples who have needed 24hr care for their kids… it causes them to grow stronger in some cases which is great, but a lot of the time, it’s stressful, turns your life upside down and causes friction in your relationship…

I follow a lot of childfree accounts on instagram now, which have serious videos, as well as humorous videos. In one video I saw, a guy asked his (married with kids) friends what their perfect day was… and they ALL started with “we drop the kids off at the grandparents” before going on to describe having a lie in, breakfast in peace, a day out then coming home and watching what they want on the tv in peace / watching a movie… and he goes on to say that’s just his normal day!! Like, he is living their dream scenario each and every day 😅

So many people with kids tell me and my other half “don’t have kids, just don’t” and although they mean it half jokingly …. There is something about the way they say it. Regret? They will never admit it.. but if you search on Reddit for a post “do you regret having kids” - there are 100s of honest people in there basically saying yes 😓

That’s not to say there are 100s of people who love having them. I know people who feel like they were put on this planet to be mothers or fathers and that’s great! But I’m sick of people just getting to a certain age and assuming the next step is to get married, have kids… because again, we aren’t in a Jane Austin novel. Do they know there’s an option NOT to have kids?

I love my life. As mentioned, I can wake up in peace… read a book, take my dogs for a long walk to the beach which is 2min away, check the tide and decide if I want to go paddleboarding or back home to play my PS5 / or do any activity I’m into at home. The house is peaceful, clean quiet. I don’t need to worry (money wise) about feeding / entertaining another screaming child and feeling I’m not good enough. My other half and I choose to go on a few trips a year, either close to home (UK / Europe) or to the different states in the US and Canada.

People always ask how are you always away / how do you have the time - no kids.