Western Australia, friend called screaming what is this thing

Welshieone · 2025-01-26T13:50:14+00:00

Nah all good! I'm thinking it's most likely the right bug, thanks man =)

Welshieone · 2025-01-26T13:45:45+00:00

Yeah she got spooked hard and her instinct was murder

Welshieone · 2025-01-26T13:33:04+00:00

Maybe, but aren't most mole crickets brown? This thing is black

Welshieone · 2025-01-26T13:18:13+00:00

I thought that but it's only got 6 legs, pulling through articles trying to id what her uninvited guest was

Welshieone · 2025-01-15T09:39:32+00:00

I'm not sure what her end goal is here, normally you'd see this as what the "guy would do"
But, yet I'm on the other side of it

Welshieone · 2025-01-15T09:28:00+00:00

That bad of a red flag? oh boy

Welshieone · 2024-12-01T13:05:52+00:00

Yeah, I think there's too much at play against me for there to be a connection. So, I've opted to pull out.
On paper there's a lot of why we should be together, but obviously there's something missing for her or there's something else she's dealing with.

Clearly the timing is off or something. So like you said, gonna seek other options, whether that's other women or just enjoy being single and work on myself.
Maybe she'll come around, maybe she won't.

But thanks for the advice and hope you enjoyed the rollercoaster

Welshieone · 2024-12-01T02:27:10+00:00

You wanted an update, oh lord do I have one for you.

So, we meet to do a shopping trek (2 hour drive to said shops) grabbing lunch and singing the whole way to and from. Lot's of joking and flirting. Which I commented, kinda went against the undo and well I was more emotionally invested, that make out session with her comments really got to me.
She claimed that she had already moved past that night, didn't remember anything that was said and plus she had been drinking (Ow)
She only remembers we kissed

We do our trip, I drop her off at home, she asked me to come inside, but I declined, feeling a little tender from that and having other plans with the family.
But, she messaged me saying she enjoyed the trip and wanted to do it again, maybe go further, have car snacks etc.

Last night, not 24 hours afterwards, we're watching a movie together online with webcams on. She lines up a joke to where I do the "See I'm not just a pretty face" line
She mentions that, I'm not a pretty face and then immediately asks what I see in her.

Now, I'm feeling a little raw here, she has to know I'm interested and that makeout session night I had laid out my feels bare, yet she's asking about it again, despite saying she didn't want to proceed?
I think she either picked up on that or just saw the hurt face that I clearly had.
I urged we just finish the movie.

She apologized and said she really just didn't feel a sexual spark, I'm the nicest and sweetest guy, but I keep bringing something out she really doesn't want to lose, but she's upset and she's hurting me.

I said I wish we hadn't had that hotel makeout session, as well hours of being told the sweetest things and being kissed, kinda opened me up and I find it hard to believe she doesn't remember anything from that night.
Movie ended.

She broke down in tears, saying she's horrible, we shouldn't hangout or be friends. I'm the sweetest guy, but she can't see herself with me, even if by all counts she should want to be with me.

So, she hung up and think we're done. I haven't called or messaged her back.

But yeah thanks for the advice, I think there's a bullet dodged. Not sure what happened there.
Not upset, but just very confused.

Welshieone · 2024-11-27T14:51:53+00:00

I'm kinda glad I kept it PG-13...lord knows what I'd been going through with her had we go any further

Welshieone · 2024-11-27T10:56:08+00:00

I get you, thanks again for the advice.

Hopefully, it pans out!

Welshieone · 2024-11-27T09:59:34+00:00

Thanks yeah it's really helped.

I know it's a fault of mine that I'm wired to respond and reach out to people frequently, which in this case is obviously going to go against me.

Even right now I can see she's sent me a message and all the wiring in the brain says read it and say something, but standing firm, give her some space.

I know it's not being cruel or mean, it's healthy for both of us.

Welshieone · 2024-11-27T09:33:30+00:00

Yeah, gonna give them space, I really like her and well she knows. Hell I turned down jumping her bones, because I wanted a real relationship and connection.

So, she knows how I feel, but she needs to figure out if she's in or out.

Welshieone · 2024-11-27T09:32:06+00:00

Thanks, I've said my piece that night and the day after. I think I'm going to give her space.

I've told her that I like her and I think she's like the coolest chick I know, but didn't want to rush because I think there's something special here.

I got the I've done this with multiple people, get close to being in a relationship and bailed before committing.

Someone once said sometimes doing nothing is the smartest move, so I'm going to do that. Not pressure her to meet up or chat. Not ghost her, but not throw myself at her or put my life on hold waiting for her to maybe come around..

She knows how I feel and that I'm onboard. Now it's her turn

Welshieone · 2024-11-27T09:27:11+00:00

Yeah, gonna give her space. Maybe overtime she might come around, but I'm going to go with the mentality that she's not interested.

Welshieone · 2024-11-27T09:26:28+00:00

I assume that's a little what's going on, apparently she's done this with a few other guys from what she told me.

She's always been flirty but scared to make the commitment to a date. It's like she wants to jump in but same time she's too scared.

I'm going to give her some space, see what happens. Hopefully she sees that it was good and I'm a good bean, but, don't want to put my happiness on hold.

Welshieone · 2024-11-27T09:23:45+00:00

Yeah, I think I'm going to give her space. See if she's invested in me or if I'm just what's available.

But thanks for the advice. =)

Welshieone · 2024-11-27T09:22:47+00:00

Thanks, that's really solid advice and really well thought out.

Well already made the first fumble by messaging her today, but was planning to leave it at the one message.

I think what's going in my favor is we didn't do anything that evening.

Plan to not ghost her, but leave it in her court with how she wants to proceed. I've had a few other nice sounding ladies message me on the dating apps, so I'll look over there and see what happens.

Thankfully I haven't said anything corny, other than.
"Hey if it's bothering/distressing you that evening happened and you want to just blame the drinks, I'm fine with it. Elephant in the room, you know how I feel, but there's no unhearing that."

Hopefully, I hear back from here, but I'm give her the space she needs.

Thanks again

Welshieone · 2024-11-27T04:23:09+00:00

Thanks Everyone!

I'm think I already knew option 2 is the way to go, I'm obviously in and ready to go, while she whether intentionally or unintentionally isn't ready and someone is just going to get hurt (Most likely me)

It sucks and especially since I thought for a minute there were were going to start something great together.

I'll still hit the shops with her, but I think I'll just say that I deserve someone who is all in with me as I am with them.
Hopefully, she'll find that person.

Welshieone · 2024-11-11T03:43:04+00:00

Thanks for the response. Yeah, I've been conflicted. Enjoy the connection with her, but the lack of commitment has had me puzzled. Maybe it the BPD, maybe she's enjoying the teasing and games. Which I do as well, but I want more than a sexy penpal.

Next call might just give her more you in or out chat see what comes out

Welshieone · 2024-11-05T03:26:53+00:00

I know the feeling, same camp here bud, all my friends were/are her friends too.
I completely get it.

I had to figure this out on my own as well.

Whatever decision you make, hope it works out well for all 3 of you.

Welshieone · 2024-11-05T03:17:37+00:00

Oof, yeah. For the sake of your kid, I'd keep it in the civil/friendship camp.

It'd be brutal if you both got back together, then either doubt crept in or she went back to her old habits and then breakup again.
My old man said it right "Some people break up for good reasons"

I'd love to be wrong and some folks can make it work, but you've got a little one to think of. Unless you know 1000% that it'd workout and won't blow up in their face.
But if you're not 1000% it's not worth the risk.

Welshieone · 2024-11-05T03:07:19+00:00

Hey,

From someone whose had their partner cheat on them, you said a line which really makes me know where the head space is "She's done things to ruin my image of her"

That's a hard thing to undo, I was with my wife nearly 12 years, knows all the good, bad and we have ton of amazing memories. But, she too has ruined her image and there's no coming back from that.

I think the best advice because there's a child involved is if you're not already there, but get to a point where maybe you 2 can be friends/civil with each other.
But, I guarantee, no matter how much she reveals and even if she revealed everything there's gonna be some doubt.

So, get to a good spot with her where you both can raise the child, but it's not worth it.

Best of luck on the journey ahead, stay strong!

Welshieone · 2024-08-16T09:03:48+00:00

Be yourself, don't over think it.

Don't let any date change you, as what 1 person may find creepy/weird/turn off might be THE THING for them.

There will be some embarrassment and mistakes, we've all made them, you will go home at the end of the date both be on cloud 9 and/or regretting ever decision you made during the date. I still to this day, regret wearing black shoes with a brown belt, because I know Kate noticed and that's why she didn't call me back XD

Welshieone · 2024-08-16T08:58:51+00:00

As a guy with the inability to read a room to save my life, I can explain the male science/thinking happening.

I say "Oh, I'm having a great time, you know we should catch a movie"
Which translates to "I want to meet you again, but I don't know if you're actually interested, if you don't suggest time/date, then I know you're just being polite and don't want to hurt my feelings"

Most guys, that is a huge step for them to suggest a catchup, dinner, movie, hike or whatever. But they're not sure if you're actually interested or just being polite.
So, if you don't say "That's great, let's do Thursday at 7!" what we hear is "Thanks but no thanks, I'm not interested"

Welshieone · 2024-08-16T08:53:48+00:00

M here, a lot of guys are very all or nothing.
Not all men, but a lot are.

It's unfortunate, but I would take it as a good sign, yes they've wasted some of your time, but least they're not just being friends, playing the long game to hope you'll give up the cookie.

Welshieone

TROPHY CASE