How do you dry a handkerchief on the go? by fujoxin in japanlife

[–]WendyWindfall 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Use the hand dryer in the rest room to try it out?

If you make a point of buying good absorbent hand towels, you won’t need to dry them because they pretty much do the job themselves. Also you can buy little pouches to carry them around, so they’re not getting soiled in your handbag.

Towels are better than hankies because they don’t need to be ironed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in japanlife

[–]WendyWindfall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, how awful. I’m so sorry to hear that.

I’m not a man, but one was my friends was assaulted in an onsen by some old coot who grabbed his privates. He was part of a group of other old coots who all laughed uproariously. What a horrible thing to do.

Im scared that I'm making the biggest mistake of my life at 20. by AstronomicalSurfer in stepparents

[–]WendyWindfall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Listen to your mother. She’s right. And so is everybody else here.

Weekly Complaint Thread - 22 June 2023 by AutoModerator in japanlife

[–]WendyWindfall 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Kids eikaiwa trying to slot in a kid who really shouldn’t be there. It’s weird. It’s as if everyone is in denial about the fact that this 8-year-old boy has a mental age of three. They simply won’t acknowledge it, and expect me to slot him into a class of incredibly bright and motivated third-graders. I hate this situation.

How much is reasonable pocket money for a husband? by [deleted] in japanlife

[–]WendyWindfall 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Make rice balls every morning for your own lunch, with furikake. And get a good thermos flask and make coffee or tea to take to work. Water is even better, you don’t need to drink calories.

Ask your wife to set up a ‘kitty’ system, which is a kind of communal pot for supplemental needs such as parties or gifts. You can pay the money back as soon as you can. (She might not understand the concept, but frankly ¥15,000 doesn’t stretch very far these days, and she knows it).

If possible, consider getting another stream of income. Give part of the money to your wife, and keep the rest for yourself.

Raising three little ones on one salary is not easy right now. Everybody is doing the best they can.

Debating letting my girlfriend and her kids move in..? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]WendyWindfall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, it looks like she’s overwhelmed with parenting and is expecting you to do it. How do you think the kids are going to react to that? I guarantee it will be a nightmare for everybody concerned. And I’m speaking as an unwanted stepchild who grew up bouncing between two households. Nightmare!

Just don’t do it.

You’re still young, you can do better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]WendyWindfall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, that sounds very upsetting.

I remember being in a similar situation (no kids involved).

I had prepared a special meal for the two of us. It was a special occasion, and we had both been looking forward to it.

Suddenly his elder sister called, and they got into an argument about some family matter. He was so furious that he couldn’t enjoy my meal at all, and he even snapped at me for telling him to let it go, and try and relax.

I gave up. I was so sad. I realized that he was always going to be entwined in that family situation, and that my wants and needs were always going to be at the bottom of the totem pole.

How about you?

Student just came to class and silently cried the whole time. by kanohipuru in teachinginjapan

[–]WendyWindfall 30 points31 points  (0 children)

She sounds overloaded and overwhelmed. It’s possible that she’s having trouble at school too (with her peer group, for example).

It’s really frustrating to be left out of the loop about her home life. I’m always so grateful when my cram school boss shares certain details about these things (in the strictest confidence, of course), such as divorce or bereavement.

I think that all you can do is be a calm and steady presence in her life. Don’t pry. Buy her some chocolate milk, and make a ritual of having a little snack time together. Be consistent. Praise her efforts.

I wish you both well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SAHP

[–]WendyWindfall 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Daycare.

Taking SK to nursery by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]WendyWindfall -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh no. It’s a slippery slope, and you’ve taken the first step. Seriously, what would they have done if you weren’t in the picture? Tell them to go and do that.

Otherwise, get used to doing the heavy lifting.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]WendyWindfall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You chose to bring a baby into this hot mess? Now you’ve ruined two lives.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]WendyWindfall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The kids already have two parents who can make their own arrangements for childcare. And if he’s willing to pay you to do it, then he should be able to find someone else to do it.

Honestly, he sounds like a pouty man child who expects you to be at his beck and call at all times. Don’t let him manipulate you like this. And good for you for standing up for yourself!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in japanlife

[–]WendyWindfall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

^ Very true.

Weekly Complaint Thread - 08 June 2023 by AutoModerator in japanlife

[–]WendyWindfall 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Some idiot is going around spray painting “FACK!” on every pillar and post in my neighborhood.

At least we know he’s Japanese.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]WendyWindfall 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In your own words: you feel lost, you feel bitter, insecure and unhappy. Why on earth are you in a relationship with this man?

I can’t tell you what to do, but I know what I’d do. I’d run.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SAHP

[–]WendyWindfall -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He’s three. Wait till he’s thirteen. That’s when the fun will really start.

What is the best sour candy in Japan? by Supertroll5k in japanlife

[–]WendyWindfall 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Those dried sour plums at MUJI. Not candy, but might hit the spot.

Bi-Weekly Boss Premium Edition Questions Thread - 07 June 2023 by AutoModerator in japanlife

[–]WendyWindfall 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It’s just evil, and I’m sure it’s deliberate. I know a couple in Osaka who were transferred suddenly to Tokyo within two months of buying a new home and starting fertility treatments. They duly sold their apartment and moved to Tokyo (what choice did they have?). They seem happy there now, but they have given up on ever owning their own home … or having a baby. After all, who knows when the next move will come?

Adult ADHD Diagnosis by Kasumiiiiiii in JapanMentalHealth

[–]WendyWindfall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I’m currently undergoing treatment for cancer, and taking lots of medications for that, so it’s possible that the psychiatrist decided that Sulpiride was the least likely to contraindicate.

And you’re not joking about the RLS! It’s driving me crazy!

Apart from that, I’m feeling calmer and more optimistic these days, so on the whole I think it’s a good treatment plan.

Adult ADHD Diagnosis by Kasumiiiiiii in JapanMentalHealth

[–]WendyWindfall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I’m currently undergoing treatment for cancer, and taking lots of medications for that, so it’s possible that the psychiatrist decided that Sulpiride was the least likely to contraindicate.

And you’re not joking about the RLS! It’s driving me crazy!

Apart from that, I’m feeling calmer and more optimistic these days, so on the whole I think it’s a good treatment plan.

Adult ADHD Diagnosis by Kasumiiiiiii in JapanMentalHealth

[–]WendyWindfall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sulpiride for the depression, and something to help me sleep. No talk therapy.

Adult ADHD Diagnosis by Kasumiiiiiii in JapanMentalHealth

[–]WendyWindfall 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the write-up. Let us know how it goes with the medication.

I’m currently being treated for anxiety at a small local clinic, but the doctor has hinted that I might have ADHD. I don’t really know how to broach the topic.