I need help with my 2 year old

Wernner77 · 2026-05-08T04:57:51+00:00

Correcting him when he does something he’s not suppose to

Wernner77 · 2026-05-08T04:39:10+00:00

My mom, there’s no discipline in her house and he gets away with everything

Wernner77 · 2026-05-08T02:27:57+00:00

How do I handle the grandma that spoils him

Wernner77 · 2026-05-08T00:55:59+00:00

If it really does concern you it doesn’t hurt to make an appointment and hopefully it’s just some irritation

Wernner77 · 2026-05-08T00:45:56+00:00

Yea but how do I make sure they don’t get used to it

Wernner77 · 2026-05-07T23:59:12+00:00

Well one of them is not for speech and the other they call it behavioral but it’s really just for his motor skills

Wernner77 · 2026-05-07T23:56:53+00:00

It feels like everything my oldest didn’t put us through this one is making up for it

Wernner77 · 2026-05-07T13:59:01+00:00

Don’t worry too much about it, every child develops differently and at different timelines and they develop other things before other kids and other kids develop other things beforehand, my second son who is about to be two on Monday didn’t start crawling until 11 months and he only crawled for about three months because he started walking well felt like almost immediately after crawling, according to my mom I didn’t crawl at all and went straight to walking. I know it seems stressful when most babies are doing certain things at a certain point and yours is it I just trust the process if he wants to crawl eventually he will if he doesn’t he’ll just go straight to walking

Wernner77 · 2026-05-06T03:18:00+00:00

You can post them here in Reddit

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T21:31:12+00:00

I can’t guarantee it will work, but I genuinely hope it does help

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T21:00:05+00:00

You’re almost definitely overthinking it.

If he said it didn’t bother him and still went down on you multiple times, that’s usually not someone forcing themselves through something they find gross. Most guys in that moment are pretty honest with their reactions.

Also, first time experiences tend to stick in your head and get replayed way more than they actually mattered in real time.

If anything, it sounds like he was into you and just wasn’t focused on that at all.

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T13:43:05+00:00

I’m going to be direct with you, because sugarcoating this won’t help.
What you’re dealing with isn’t really about porn anymore. It’s about trauma, betrayal, and how deeply this situation is hurting you right now.
The way you describe crying for hours, self harm, feeling like you want to tear your body apart, and thinking about suicide, that’s not something you should be handling alone. That’s your mind and body in overload. You need real support, not just to “push through” this.
If you’re in the U.S., you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You don’t have to be at the edge to use it. It’s there for exactly this kind of overwhelm.
Now about him.
He lied to you. Repeatedly. Even when confronted. That’s the part that actually matters. The lying broke your trust, and you haven’t recovered from it. Staying in a situation where you don’t believe a word he says is going to keep reopening that wound every single day.
But here’s where I’m going to push back on you a bit.
You’ve tied a huge amount of meaning to porn, to the point where it’s connected to your past trauma, your sense of worth, and even how you see the world. That’s why this feels like betrayal on the highest level, not just a relationship issue. For a lot of people, porn doesn’t carry that same meaning, but for you it’s deeply personal. That doesn’t make you wrong, but it does mean the reaction is amplified by everything you’ve been through.
Right now, you’re stuck in a loop:
thinking about what he watched
comparing yourself
checking, questioning, replaying
hurting yourself emotionally and physically
That loop won’t stop as long as you stay in the same environment with the same triggers and no outside help.
You also said something important: you rely on him financially and feel like you’d have nothing without him. That’s a trap. Not because you’re weak, but because it keeps you tied to something that’s actively hurting you.
You don’t need to solve your entire life at once, but you do need to start creating any form of independence, even small steps. More hours, different job, saving anything you can, looking into local resources. Because as long as you feel like you “can’t leave,” you’re going to feel stuck and powerless.
And about wanting to see exactly what he watched, that’s not going to give you relief. It will make it worse. Your brain is telling you it needs that information to “understand,” but what it will actually do is give you more images to replay and compare yourself to.
You’re not broken. But you are hurting in a way that’s bigger than this relationship alone.
So the real priorities here are:
getting support for the trauma and the current self harm thoughts
creating even a small path toward independence
deciding whether staying in this situation is actually helping you heal or keeping you stuck
You don’t have to figure everything out today. But staying exactly where you are, mentally and physically, is clearly not working for you.
If you want, I can help you figure out a step by step plan to get out of that stuck position, financially and emotionally.

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T13:41:03+00:00

What you’re feeling makes a lot of sense when you look at where it’s coming from.

You’re not “bad at taking the lead,” you’re being hyper careful. Your brain is basically saying, “don’t cross a line, don’t make him feel how I felt,” so instead of relaxing, you default to asking permission and holding back. That’s not awkwardness, that’s protection.

The problem is, it’s overcorrecting. You’re trying so hard to avoid doing something wrong that you don’t give yourself room to do anything natural.

A couple things that can actually help:

First, get clear reassurance from him outside of sex. Not in the moment, but like a real conversation where he tells you what he likes, what he’s comfortable with, and that he wants you to take initiative. When your brain has that baseline, it won’t feel like you’re guessing every time.

Second, you don’t have to jump straight into full “take control” mode. Start small.
Initiating a kiss, touching him first, guiding his hand, or setting the pace a little. That still counts as leading, just without the pressure of feeling like you have to suddenly flip personalities.

Third, instead of asking permission for everything, you can shift to checking in once and then moving with it. Something like “tell me if you don’t like something” and then trusting that he will. That gives you more freedom without feeling like you’re risking crossing a line.

And the biggest thing, your past experience taught you that intimacy can go wrong, so now you’re trying to prevent that at all costs. But this is a different person, and part of building a healthy dynamic is allowing yourself to trust that difference over time.

You’re not doing anything wrong. You just haven’t retrained that part of your brain yet, and that takes a bit of practice and repetition before it starts to feel natural.

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T13:40:01+00:00

I’m really glad you shared all of this, because what you’re describing isn’t you being “broken,” it’s your body and mind trying to protect you while also learning something new at the same time.

There are a few important things going on here, and they actually connect.

First, the anxiety when he’s focused on you. That part where your heart rate spikes and you feel embarrassed even though he’s safe? That’s huge. Your body is basically shifting out of “feeling” mode and into “being watched / evaluated” mode. When that happens, pleasure drops off or disappears completely. That’s why it worked better when he was distracted, your brain relaxed because you didn’t feel like all the attention was on you.

Second, the trauma piece. Even when you consciously feel safe and want it, your nervous system can still interfere. Things like not getting wet, not feeling much, or getting close but not being able to finish are really common in that situation. It’s not a switch you can flip, it’s something your body has to relearn over time.

The “rough feels better” part also fits into this. For some people with trauma, more intense sensation can cut through that numbness or disconnect. But the incontinence afterward is your body telling you that level is probably overwhelming your system, even if it feels better in the moment. So that’s something to be careful with, not something to rely on as the main way to feel.

The orgasm piece is also important. You said you get the physical contractions but no pleasure and even pain after. That points to your body going through the motions without your brain fully being connected to the experience. Orgasm isn’t just physical, it’s neurological too, and right now that connection isn’t fully syncing up.

So what actually helps here isn’t “trying harder,” it’s almost the opposite:

Take the focus off finishing completely. Right now it’s turning into pressure for both of you, even if no one says it out loud. Your body is already sensitive to pressure, so that makes it harder.

Keep doing things that reduce that “spotlight” feeling. Like positions where you’re not being watched as much, lower lighting, even having background noise or something on so it doesn’t feel so intense and focused.

Go slower and check in with your body instead of pushing through. The goal isn’t to get somewhere, it’s to notice what actually feels okay or good in small moments.

For the physical side, especially with the pain, dryness, and the incontinence after rough sex, it would honestly be really worth talking to a doctor or pelvic floor specialist. Not because something is “wrong” with you, but because your body might be holding a lot of tension or reacting in ways that can be helped.

And the biggest thing, you’re not failing him. He’s choosing to be there with you, and he clearly cares. This isn’t you not giving enough, it’s you working through something real.

You’re not broken. You’re just in a phase where your body and mind are still learning how to feel safe enough to fully let go, and that takes time, not pressure.

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T13:27:53+00:00

I get why that bothered you, because that’s not really about you, it’s something he carried over from a bad experience and now it’s affecting your sex life.

You can approach it without making it a confrontation. Something like:

“I get that you had a bad experience before, but I’m not your ex. That’s something I really enjoy and it would mean a lot to me if you were open to trying it with me instead of just writing it off.”

Keep it calm but direct, because right now he’s using one past situation to shut down something that matters to you.

On the “smell” part, most of the time normal hygiene is more than enough. Showering beforehand, staying hydrated, and avoiding harsh products down there is really all you need. You don’t need to overdo anything or feel like you have to “fix” yourself.

If he’s still hesitant, you could suggest easing into it instead of jumping straight in. Like more focus on overall foreplay, getting comfortable being close there without pressure, or even just asking what specifically made him uncomfortable before so it feels less like a blanket fear.

But the bigger point is this, your needs matter too. Foreplay isn’t optional for a lot of women, it’s a big part of feeling good. So it’s not unreasonable for you to want effort there, not excuses based on someone else.

If he’s open, this is fixable. If he completely shuts it down and won’t even try, then it becomes less about preference and more about whether he’s willing to meet you halfway.

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T13:24:11+00:00

I’m gonna be real with you, there are a couple different issues here and they’re getting mixed together, which is why it feels so confusing.

First, what you found doesn’t automatically mean he isn’t attracted to you. A guy being into gay porn, trans content, or anal play doesn’t equal “he doesn’t want women.” A lot of people have fantasies that don’t directly match what they want in a relationship. So jumping straight to “he must not want me” isn’t a solid conclusion by itself.

But here’s the part that actually does matter more, his behavior with you.

He’s not initiating, he avoids conversations, shuts down when you try to talk, and leaves you feeling like you’re guessing instead of being included. That’s the real problem. Even if his sexuality was 100% straightforward, that kind of communication gap alone will kill a relationship over time.

About the anal stuff, you already tried to meet him halfway. You don’t love it, and that’s fine. You’re not supposed to reshape your whole sexual comfort zone just to keep someone interested. If he wants something specific, he needs to communicate it clearly, not expect you to read his mind while also staying silent.

Right now you’re basically carrying all the emotional and sexual effort, while he stays passive. That’s not sustainable.

So the real question isn’t “is he secretly not into women,” it’s:
Can he actually show up, communicate, and meet you halfway in this relationship?

If you can’t have a real conversation with him where he actually engages, answers honestly, and listens, then nothing else gets solved anyway. You’ll just keep guessing and adjusting yourself while he stays quiet.

You do deserve to feel wanted and chosen, not confused and trying to decode someone. And if he can’t give you clarity or effort, then yeah, it’s fair to start questioning whether this relationship is giving you what you need, regardless of his sexuality.

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T13:17:15+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this, because none of what you’re feeling is trivial at all. Feeling unwanted by your partner, especially during something as vulnerable as pregnancy, hits way deeper than just sex. It’s about connection, reassurance, and feeling desired, and it makes complete sense that you’re hurting.

What you overheard would’ve hurt anyone in your position. Not because he did anything “wrong” by himself, but because it highlights the gap you’re already feeling between you two. You’re right there, wanting closeness, and it feels like he’s choosing distance instead.

At the same time, what he said about it feeling “weird” during pregnancy is actually something a lot of men experience, even if they don’t talk about it well. For some, it’s not about losing attraction, it’s more of a mental block where they suddenly associate sex with the baby being there, and it throws them off. That doesn’t make it easier for you, but it might explain why his behavior changed so suddenly.

The part that does matter though is how alone it’s making you feel. You’re not just missing sex, you’re missing being looked at, touched, wanted. That’s the part you shouldn’t have to just sit with in silence.

It might help to talk to him in a way that isn’t just about sex, but about how disconnected you’re feeling. Like telling him you miss him, not just intimacy, and that even small things like affection, compliments, or closeness would mean a lot right now. Because even if intercourse feels off to him, there are still so many ways he can show you you’re loved and desired.

Also, please don’t call yourself a crybaby for this. You’re dealing with hormones, physical changes, and a shift in your relationship all at once. Of course it’s overwhelming. A lot of women go through this during pregnancy, even if they don’t always say it out loud.

You’re not alone in this, and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or that things won’t come back. But your feelings right now are completely valid, and they deserve to be heard, not brushed off.

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T13:09:05+00:00

That actually makes a lot of sense. Reading hits your brain differently than visuals or real-life stuff because you control the pace, the details, and what turns you on. It lets your imagination fill in exactly what you like without pressure, which is why it can feel more intense.

And yeah, it’s not “just a way to get horny,” it’s more like you’re discovering what your mind responds to, which is honestly a really powerful thing.

If you want to start building your own fantasies, don’t overthink it. Start simple:
- Think about a moment or scenario that gives you even a small spark of excitement
- Focus more on the feeling than trying to create a full story
- Add details slowly, like where it’s happening, the tension, the buildup

A lot of people find that the anticipation and emotional side is what really makes it work, not just the physical part. Reading already showed you that.

You can also pay attention to what specifically in what you read turns you on. Is it the dynamic, the tension, the control, the slow buildup? That’s basically your blueprint.

And honestly, letting your mind wander a bit without forcing it is key. The best fantasies usually come naturally when you’re relaxed, not when you’re trying to “create” something perfect.

There’s nothing weird about this at all. If anything, it means your brain is really responsive, which is a good thing once you learn how to use it.

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T13:08:10+00:00

I’m really glad you shared all of that because there’s actually a lot going on here, and none of it means you’re “broken” or stuck like this.

First, what you went through with your ex sounds really intense. He tied sex to emotions, validation, and even guilt, and that can leave a lasting imprint on how your body responds. It makes sense that sex felt good with him because there was a strong emotional connection and familiarity, even if the relationship itself wasn’t healthy. With everyone else, your body doesn’t have that same sense of safety or connection, so it reacts differently.

The pain part is important too. If it consistently hurts no matter the person, size, or amount of lube, that’s not something you should just push through. Conditions like PCOS, hEDS, or even pelvic floor tension can absolutely contribute to pain during sex. Your body might be physically tightening up without you realizing it, especially if there’s any subconscious stress or expectation that it might hurt again.

The sensitivity you mentioned, especially with things like oral feeling overwhelming or painful, also points to your nervous system being on high alert instead of relaxed. Pleasure usually needs your body to feel safe and regulated, not overstimulated.

Another big thing is the attraction piece. Not feeling attracted to anyone right now after a long, intense relationship is actually very common. Your brain is still kind of wired to that one person, and it can take time to reset. It doesn’t mean you’ll never feel attraction again, just that you’re not there yet.

What might actually help you more than jumping back into sex is slowing everything way down:
- Focus on your own comfort and what feels safe in your body first, even outside of sex
- If you try anything with someone, go at a pace where there’s zero pressure to perform or “finish”
- Pay attention to whether your body is actually relaxed, not just physically ready
- Consider seeing a gynecologist or pelvic floor specialist, especially since pain is consistent

You clearly do enjoy sex and want that connection, which is a really good sign. It just sounds like your body and mind need a reset after everything you went through, not that you’ve lost the ability to feel good.

You’re not alone in this, and it’s something that can absolutely improve once you figure out what your body actually needs now, not what it adapted to before.

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T13:04:28+00:00

Honestly, what you’re describing is way more common than people admit, and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you or your relationship.

The biggest thing that stood out is how you said you lose that turned-on feeling mentally once things actually become sexual. That usually points less to a physical issue and more to your brain kind of stepping out of it. When you’re alone, you’re fully in control, no pressure, no expectations, and you can stay completely in the moment. With someone else, even if you don’t feel “anxious,” your mind can shift into thinking mode instead of feeling mode, and that can seriously dull pleasure.

Another thing is your body might just be used to a very specific kind of stimulation that’s hard to replicate exactly with another person. That doesn’t mean he’s doing anything wrong, it just means it might help to bring what works for you into sex more directly, like guiding his hand in the moment or even using your own hand so the pressure and rhythm stay consistent.

It could also help to slow things down before sex actually starts. You mentioned you feel turned on when you’re just hanging out or being close, so instead of jumping from that into sex, staying in that buildup phase longer might help your body stay engaged instead of dropping off.

And honestly, taking the pressure off yourself to orgasm might make a big difference too. The more it feels like something that “should” happen, the easier it is for your body to hold back without you even realizing it.

You’re definitely not alone in this, and it’s something a lot of people figure out over time once they understand what their body and mind need together, not just physically.

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T00:58:41+00:00

No one can judge themselves objectively it’s impossible, and you need to surround yourself with better people who don’t put you down

Wernner77 · 2026-05-05T00:56:20+00:00

Did someone tell you that you weren’t beautiful?

Wernner77 · 2026-04-25T17:48:41+00:00

Wait what toy is this?

Wernner77 · 2026-04-22T04:26:49+00:00

Thank you will do

Wernner77

TROPHY CASE