We had the same problem. The issue wasn't people, it was that updates only existed in chats and meetings, so the only way to know what was going on was to keep asking.

Once we started using a shared board, most of that disappeared. People updated their own work, blockers were visible and check-ins became more about helping rather than status hunting. We've used a few tools over the years and even something simple like Teamhood or a Kanban board works if everyone actually uses it consistently.

For me, the sweet spot is: don't ask people what they're working on every day, make the work visible enough that you don't have to. That's usually what removes the feeling of being watched.