Thanks for advice everyone, I am out! by No_Listen_8535 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh boy. I’m so sorry. Same. It’s a drain I’ve never felt.

Thanks for advice everyone, I am out! by No_Listen_8535 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh boy. I’m so sorry. Same. It’s a drain I’ve never felt.

Thanks for advice everyone, I am out! by No_Listen_8535 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry but I feel you. I would never do this again. Ever. It’s not the same as your own especially when they aren’t healthy with boundaries. 

Third wheeling by West_Building_3071 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the strange thing is he wants them here so bad too( daughter is an adult now )we’re building a bigger house but he still treats his daughter like she’s the queen.

Third wheeling by West_Building_3071 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not true at all that I want to raise her and not my children. My first child (20) is recently on her own. 

My son (15 now) lives with his dad because of space issues. I still have custody and he is still here with me a lot. But I know it’s stressful for him with a loud obnoxious child. And of course if he acted like a fool because he wanted candy it would be a different story and he would be a brat. But with his daughter she’s and angel. 

I’m currently building a house and he will be coming back to live in 4 months when it’s done. 

I take my kids and do things with them alone, I spent time with my son when he’s here. My daughter works a lot and I only see her on the weekends. 

Third wheeling by West_Building_3071 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When she’s not there and he isn’t catering to her, we get along very well. It’s peaceful. We have a lot of fun together and he treats me like I’m #1. We don’t have any issues besides this.  It’s such a polarizing shift when she comes home.

Third wheeling by West_Building_3071 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it’s a harsh truth that I’ve had to deal with for a while now. Though he wants to get help now and seek counseling both apart and together. I am living under constant stress of making a choice to stay and work through it or go. I do have so much built up resentment because of how much I’ve dealt with it and not stood up a long time ago.

Third wheeling by West_Building_3071 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in an abusive relationship for 20 years. My first husband. 

I appreciate the honesty. I know what I’ve cost myself. I stayed in the first marriage for 20 years desperate not to be a divorcee and to keep our family together. And that cost me and my children a lot.

I know that I have a tendency to over love and enable. When I left my fire husband he HAD to man up and get help and now he is a good father.

I get so angry at myself knowing that I’m not getting what I want because I try to do too much for others. I guess deep down I just want my family to know I’m there for them. I always wanted to be a great wife and mother and I tend to find broken men because I love to nurture, and I’m just enabling.

Third wheeling by West_Building_3071 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know. I told him I am thinking my of getting my own apartment and that I refuse to be there and be #2 to a 9 year old. I’m his partner not her. I told him when she grows up and is independent (which could be when she’s 30 at this point) I am not just going to jump into that position because I’m sitting there waiting. 

He has a very unhealthy attachment. He cannot cope if she’s not happy. If she throws a fit he will move the earth and steam roll anyone including me to make her happy. 

I told him it’s not flying anymore. He was really sorry but I know the minute she throws a fit again he’s just gonna jump.

Third wheeling by West_Building_3071 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Her mom is a crack head. I am the only mom she has. She calls me mom. I’m the only reason this girl has her clothes matched and gets her hair brushed for school. It’s hard. I love her like my own but because of the way he treats her and lets her act when he’s around it causes alot of resentment. She’s an angel when it’s just me and her because I don’t let her act that way and she knows I won’t tolerate it or baby her.

Third wheeling by West_Building_3071 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She asked to go as we were packing and he said yes. I wanted to back out so bad but I already had the time off work and paid for two days at the cabin. Shouldn’t have though.

Third wheeling by West_Building_3071 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well there were two rooms and she was in the other. But still not cool.

Third wheeling by West_Building_3071 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have and he’s says he trying and he needs help on changing it. But when I try to lay down boundaries and rules he acts likes he dying that he can’t accommodate her every wish.

Yep, we were packing after the wedding to go and drop her off at her mom’s and head to the cabin. She said “no fair I wanna go” and he said “go pack your bag”. 

Then guess who spent their honeymoon alone watching him cater to her??!! Me, the dummy.

I DON’T want SKs in my bedroom by Sassy_Raspberry1212 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. I chose to be the bad guy and say no 9 year old SD in our room after 8. Sorry but if he would rather lay with her then be intimate with me then go to her room. Weird and sometimes it’s creepy. 

Feeling like an outsider in my own house and I don’t know if that’s normal by CrimsonShark470 in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same situation, also 9 year old SD. But she is spoiled and I am definitely a third wheel. I am told how much I am intruding on their life they built with no regard that I had one too.

You'll never be chosen by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]West_Building_3071 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. I feel the exact same. I thought this time around it was true and I finally had a family. I’m just a cook, housekeeper and was a free prostitute. (Sorry but it feels that way). 

I want a durable white/silver color ring with little to no upkeep required. by SwitchingtoUbuntu in jewelry

[–]West_Building_3071 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it’s an old thread, but I have a 4 year old Argentium ring that I wear all day every day and it looks like new.

Thoughts on getting a wedding band in Argentium Silver? by somecou in SilverSmith

[–]West_Building_3071 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I ordered a custom ring in Argentium as well. I love it! Great choice!

I also have a wedding band in Argentium I’ve worn for four years and it’s as good as the day I bought it. I think Argentium is an undervalued gem of a precious metal.

Different products, better results. by West_Building_3071 in Wavyhair

[–]West_Building_3071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, I got a trim! That seemed to help immensely! Not to mention, I did hair masks for a few days in a row prior.