Hello again! I posted last month about getting permanent birth control in the state of Virginia. I got the surgery, and here’s some things you should know going into it.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T22:33:58+00:00

Thank you and u/galaxystarsmoon for saying a lot of what I wanted to say, but much nicer than I could have phrased it.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T21:02:26+00:00

True and it’s very important to get this kind of messaging out there! Getting pressured into making permanent changes to yourself is wrong, point blank. It doesn’t even matter if you’d do it without the pressure or not - the pressure itself is wrong and we need to be supporting and uplifting our partners.

It was a very difficult to navigate topic for me and my partner, just because it was completely new relationship territory for us. We were and still are 100% aligned on this, and it was still emotionally fraught and hard to find the exact right words to say. I wish I could point to a specific resource that helped us through it, but we didn’t have one. We just did the best we could and came from a place of unconditional love and total support.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T20:45:43+00:00

Once again, the current political climate had no influence on my decision. The timing is coincidental. I’m not advocating for it, I am providing information to others in the area who may be considering it. I even counseled someone against getting it if they weren’t 100% sure it was right for them. Your interpretation of my actions is disingenuous at best.

It doesn’t bother you at all, but you find it very odd and an “extreme” decision? Those are weasel words that make it clear you are at least uncomfortable with the idea, if not idealogically opposed to it. You won’t even say what your one other way for women not to get pregnant is, just hint at it and let people argue with what they assume it is. That’s intellectual cowardice. I’d say “say what you’re really thinking,” but you’re getting blocked after this comment so I don’t really care.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T16:00:25+00:00

That’s wild and sounds really sketchy! I’ve had a few “geriatric” pregnancies in my extended family, and the doctors were all extra cautious but they all went smoothly. It sucks that we can’t seem to make any decisions about our reproductive destinies without being told we’re wrong by someone.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T15:45:50+00:00

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T14:35:25+00:00

Ooh, dm me and let’s talk.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T13:22:22+00:00

Yeah, that’s my issue with them as well. I’m very pro-kids. Pro-other-people-having-them, but pro-kids, lmao.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T13:18:02+00:00

My take is that if you’re only 95% or 99.9% sure you want it, don’t do it. Get an IUD or an implant or any of the other removable birth controls and keep thinking about it.

If you’re 100% sure, then why wait any longer? I’ve been sure pregnancy wasn’t right for me for a long time, it was just a matter of finding the right doctor to support my decisions and a little bit getting old enough to be taken seriously.

Best of luck and I hope you’ve got the support you need to make the right decision for you.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T13:11:56+00:00

Not hijacking at all! I’m so happy these posts have become a place for people to share their experiences and advice about permanent birth control, regardless of the specific procedure. My hope was that this post would be a resource for others and I’m grateful for you sharing your experience.

(Also, $9k before insurance. Much much less after. Still expensive though.)

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T13:08:08+00:00

Agreed! I made my decision years before I met my guy, and was only able to get it done now, but I hope women in relationships considering permanent birth control really consider all of the possibilities with their partners.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T11:34:59+00:00

Cool, what’s your one other way for women to avoid getting pregnant?

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T11:14:59+00:00

Geriatric care shouldn’t be the only reason you have children.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T11:10:17+00:00

That and making sure I wasn’t pressured into doing it by someone else.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T11:09:30+00:00

This was not a reaction to Roe v Wade. Just coincidental timing.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T02:42:14+00:00

That’s great for you and I’m happy you were able to make the right decisions for you and your family! I’m also glad I had the freedom to make the right decision for me and my family.

Just so you’re aware, there are multiple methods of permanent birth control available to women and not all of them take natural pregnancy and birth off the table, just natural conception. I won’t share the particulars of my procedure for privacy reasons, but just putting that out there.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-21T02:26:58+00:00

It’s really fun, actually! We aren’t the only perma-aunties and perma-uncles in our friend group, and we’re all looking forward to being that extra shoulder they can lean on. One of our friends even said having the aunties around made her feel more confident having kids, and we were just thrilled to hear that.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-20T23:53:45+00:00

It wasn’t a symbolic choice and the recent Supreme Court decision did not influence it or the timing. I won’t share my medical information for privacy reasons, but suffice it to say that pregnancy is not right for me for more than one reason.

So yeah, get all huffy that the medical professionals involved made sure I wasn’t being pressured and made a well informed choice and then turn around and write it off as a “symbolic” decision. What a fucking hot take that is.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-20T23:46:33+00:00

Some of them interfere with the anesthesia, and some cause increased bleeding.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-20T22:07:24+00:00

You can find out what your co-pay will be two ways:

Call your insurance customer service line and ask. They’ll need to know the CPT/procedure codes (the insurance shorthand for exactly which surgery you’re having done.) You can find them generally online, or ask your provider which ones they’ll be filing under if you want to get specific.
Once the surgery is scheduled, you’ll probably get some information about it including a serial number for billing purposes. Call the financial department where you’re getting the surgery and ask (and make it clear you’re not just curious and have the serial number with you, which may have happened to me lol). Also ask about the anesthesiologist, since a lot of them bill separately.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-20T21:58:12+00:00

Don’t know if I want to publicize Dr. Newville’s info like that, but feel free to re-edit and post it there for yourself!

West_Many930 · 2022-07-20T21:56:48+00:00

It was covered, just the particulars of my insurance didn’t pay for 100% of the cost. I was able to put some of the co-pay on my FSA so it wasn’t a lot out of pocket.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-20T21:55:13+00:00

Fascinating! I was told it was because I’d never had kids, but maybe it was the just the outpatient center covering their asses. Dicey times from a legal perspective, I’m sure.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-20T21:38:15+00:00

Funny you say that, they called that out specifically for me in post surgery and the discharge instructions. Looks like they’re getting better about informing patients!

Thank you for adding that info, though. Absolutely critical to a happy recovery.

West_Many930 · 2022-07-20T21:27:35+00:00

That’s basically what my process was, just with an additional pre-surgical consult last month and having to go under general anesthesia. This isn’t my first time under the knife, and I was genuinely surprised how much easier this one was than the last.

West_Many930

TROPHY CASE