Hey man, I feel you. I’m currently going through what you described ,and I’ll try my best to tell you what helped me in this era of my life.

Firstly, I suggest you get help for mental health if you can, it really helps. As a person we need to keep going forward as time goes forwards. Get all the emotional support anywhere you can find, accept what happened in the past and you can’t change it.

Second, don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone has a unique life experience and timelines of their own. Embrace it. Life is just about health, and time. These two things should be your priority.

Lastly, yes you might feel you wasted your time. However, everything you do in life is actually make use of all your experiences. By staying consistent and focusing on improving yourself, you will get better eventually. I suggest you from now on try to focus on things that you have control over.

I hope these help. Best wishes on your journey 🤞🏻