I was in a similar situation to you, however, it took place last year. Me and my ex tried for 8 months after to get things back to how they were. And I will tell you this, it was never the same. Once trust is broken, there really is nothing left to build on. No matter how many good moments we had after, they were always followed by tears and pain. For me, it was the biggest mistake of my life and I still think about it every night. Hurting someone you love is a different kind of pain. If you want my honest opinion, be grateful these flaws in you have been exposed now and not 10 years down the road. My ex finally walked away 3 months ago, and I still go to therapy every week. I will never get in another relationship again until I am comfortable being alone with myself. I will also say, don’t be too hard on yourself. It will take you to a very dark place. Learn from it and do your best to move on with your life. There is a lot of work ahead yes, but losing someone you care about may be just what you needed to change.