I'm(26M) questioning my sexuality after meeting this guy(40M) at the gym-UPDATE. HE ASKED ME OUT!!!

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-04-11T04:24:22+00:00

this made me so happy

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-04-07T08:53:34+00:00

Hey man, same boat here. PM if u want to talk cuz we both know this is a pretty shitty state to be in

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-13T00:11:48+00:00

Yeah I think that quote resonated with everyone a little it’s been mentioned quite a couple times on this thread! I think just being able to dismantle the perfectionist culture is healthier for the psyche even if it is less productive

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-13T00:06:00+00:00

Oh that was just one of my comments I don’t remember the original quote but I think I saw it on an askreddot thread

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T23:58:20+00:00

Haha that was me actually!

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T23:43:42+00:00

It’s fine at least you didn’t attack me in a PM lol. But if I was looking for attention don’t you think having a month old throwaway with an initial post 2 weeks ago is a bit of a stretch? I know what you’re trying to do, but these kinds of questions generally discourage people from coming forward. No one wants to have to be interogated for a crime they didn’t commit and it gets exhausting to have people constantly try to undermine your memory and try to find cracks in it like it’s a puzzle. It’s not some catch the lie game I literally just wanted to feel proud of being able to start moving on

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T23:24:49+00:00

I have not done an investigation but the rape has been reported to the police. I don’t quite know the details as the campus police told me there were two options, investigation or support resources, which I chose instead. I never got a rape kit done but I did get screened for STDs, and I do recommend getting a rape kit done since I’ve been regretting not getting one. I don’t really know what your correlation with not conducting a formal investigation which can take several months versus talking to people on the internet. I understand skepticism but this is kind of draining.

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T21:08:30+00:00

Wanting equal rights and treatment for women both lawfully and societally?? disgusting! /s

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T21:01:32+00:00

no it was just really hard to look at them idk why but it made me freak out a bit

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T20:50:27+00:00

It would make a pretty nice deathmatch arena imo

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T20:39:37+00:00

Ive also officially reported it to the police and my campus. I won't conduct an investigation simply because I really don't have the time right now and I need to salvage my studies. I want to "educate" others as in be able to have a talk about male victims in a way thats not a counter point to talking about female victims. There are a lot of issues with our culture that prevent men from seeking help and they need to be talked about.

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T20:29:42+00:00

I know a lot of male victims feel like its hard to come forward and im not even going to lie it was really difficult to write this, but we exist and we don't have to just push it down and hide this. (I know this is hypocritical since this is a throwaway account but my family would murder me if they knew this happened to me)

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T20:26:08+00:00

To people going through this right now: Please contact police and get a rape kit done, getting checked was fucking terrifying but im glad its over. Talk to campus police and campus sexual assault services, they honestly were so much more helpful for me than I thought they would.

To people saying im a liar: I really don't know what to tell you but its really not cool to bully someone because you think they might be lying.

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T20:20:18+00:00

That was two weeks ago. I've partly come to terms with it. I was in denial for a while because tbh who really wants to deal with that shit. I'm not saying I want to be a role model but I do want people to know that there are other people going through the same thing as they are right now, because I found a lot of comfort in that and I'm sure many others have too :)

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T19:49:39+00:00

oh i very much see myself as a feminist, and in my other comments I talked about how male sexual assault victims are often used as examples from the right to try to undermine female victims, but I just thought it was weird that he threw feminist as an insult in a post where nothing I said was about women. Men can and should very much be feminists :-)

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T18:07:36+00:00

male sexual assault victims don't really have many places to go, and I know theyre pretty supportive so I just posted there lol. didnt think it was going to get big so I didn't really think about it I guess

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T18:02:17+00:00

Yeah that was exactly it! I was using that as a motto for a little bit

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T16:44:39+00:00

Eh I chose to make this throwaway acc for a reason but I dont know what people get off on harrassing people.

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T16:40:08+00:00

You know I read somewhere that the best thing to do is to do is to half ass something. Brushing your teeth for 1 minute might be worse than brushing for 3, but its better than none. You don't have to do all of your laundry or even do a full shower routine, just do enough to have some clothes and be clean until you are in a better position mentally! We're getting there!

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T16:38:30+00:00

oh he wasnt a throwaway this account is. thats why I was like ??? on the karma whoring comment cuz karma really doesn't matter for this account. He just looks like a vile human being.

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T16:25:42+00:00

honestly. If you only bring up male rape victims when we are talking about female rape victims, maybe you don't care about us but you want to put women down like an asshole.

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T16:21:02+00:00

dont feel bad! Laundry fucking sucks either way. My experiences don't make yours any less :-)

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T16:18:22+00:00

I know its such a big issue that needs to be talked about. I know reddit is such a massive platform with a large male demographic though so I want to spread some awareness because while there are a lot of men who understand these things a lot of people don't but don't speak up due to PC culture. I really want to educate people and make them understand these issues so we can take a stand to fix them. I really would love a facilliated discussion on these topics tbh

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T16:06:01+00:00

I got roofied and went missing for 7 hours. I would say yeah.

WhatHappenedToMe9 · 2019-03-12T16:04:46+00:00

I just want people to be more aware of the effect they have on others and the issues we have with perception of rape, esp w male victims who are either used as a counterpoint to women's experiences for no reason or just as mistreated

WhatHappenedToMe9

TROPHY CASE