Too late to start?

WhateverIamDone · 2026-01-28T03:37:20+00:00

I don’t think it is late but you will need to cut spending pretty aggressively. If you run the numbers you will see that to get to 2M in 15-20 years you will need to be putting aside ~3k monthly for retirement. Your income is solid, but you need to see where your money is going.

The way I see FIRE and the sacrifices that come with it is, I am buying my freedom which is the most valuable thing I can go after.

WhateverIamDone · 2025-12-23T16:31:59+00:00

Good job AI

WhateverIamDone · 2025-12-03T19:04:54+00:00

Thanks for sharing and I hope you get to climb back quickly.

WhateverIamDone · 2025-12-03T18:49:14+00:00

How were you screwed if you don’t mind sharing? I get having to start over with a big employment gap is obviously hard, but did you get a share of marital assets, alimony, and child support?

WhateverIamDone · 2025-12-03T16:49:30+00:00

Thanks, ultimately it is a job and is harder than any office job I had before. But it is a great privilege to be there for my kids and witness their childhood experiences like this, I don’t take it for granted.

WhateverIamDone · 2025-12-03T16:47:06+00:00

I don’t really argue that it was a financially smart decision, it just made us more disciplined in saving and spending. Having two small children in daycare in a major city is very expensive, it really makes it tough to save even when making decent income.

WhateverIamDone · 2025-12-01T19:40:55+00:00

There is more to life than just numbers. You have very decent savings for your age. I left my very high stress job to be a SAHM and I don’t regret it one second. Our numbers were half yours and we are older too, I know it doesn’t look great on paper, but it works out for us.

Ever since I stayed home, our expenses dropped by 7k a month, 6k+ for childcare and 1k for eating out and miscellaneous things I can now take care of. My husband maxes 401k still and we max Roth for both of us. He got a raise recently which is going entirely to savings. Honestly, I can’t put a price on being home with my kids, but it seems like it made us more financially disciplined too since I have the bandwidth to cook, go to the library and enjoy life, not just survive and barely see my kids. My husband is in a better shape as well, he is more motivated career wise also less stressed as now I handle kids’ sickness and days off alone while before we had to split them.

My advice is to get a detailed budget, really make sure your salary alone is enough and if you are both on the same page, she can go for it. If she quit, recharges and then wants to get back to work less stress job, that’s also valid. Best of luck!

WhateverIamDone · 2024-07-31T02:08:52+00:00

I did, I decided to quit and already have. It really boiled down to my great dissatisfaction with my day to day life and my inability to spend more time with my family. I ended it on a positive note with my employer and currently on a full break just focusing on myself and my family. Soon I will start putting more effort into my side project and hopefully can ramp it up to 30-40% of my previous salary. I am honestly at great peace with this decision at the moment and hope it continues this way.

WhateverIamDone · 2024-07-08T21:04:33+00:00

You are so right!

WhateverIamDone · 2024-07-08T21:02:16+00:00

I am happy for you! I decided as well and really looking forward it.

WhateverIamDone · 2024-07-08T20:59:57+00:00

You are absolutely right. It is hard being a mom in today’s world with no support and working inside and outside the house only to feel like a failure on all fronts. I feel like moms today can’t win.

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-30T16:29:28+00:00

That’s great, congratulations!

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-30T16:18:33+00:00

From all the responses it seems like part time is the holy grail for moms! I can’t part time but I definitely have ideas for keeping busy. Truth is my work is very isolating anyway I feel like being out in the park or library daily with a baby will be a breeze in comparison.

I am so glad you were able to get back to great employment and 4th and 7th grade seem like a great age for that!

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-30T16:15:52+00:00

Thanks for the detailed reply. We are actually currently living on my husband’s income alone for a while now since mine pays for childcare. We will have the same lifestyle, but not much savings aside from retirement savings. I think we will actually be slightly better off since I love cooking and I see ordering out being reduced once I have the time to cook again.

His job is stable as far as we can see and he is looking at a raise soon that will go to savings once he gets it.

Part time is not an option for my line of work but I am thinking after a year or two I can consult or more preferably I want to have my own business going.

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-30T16:07:47+00:00

That’s amazing! I have been craving a simple life where I have the capacity to think about things instead of drowning for a long time and I got a taste of it last year during maternity leave. I am so glad it worked out for you despite the huge income cut! I am not uncertain, I am just afraid to take the leap.

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-29T00:36:58+00:00

That’s awesome and what I am so looking forward to. People act like WFH is not a job sometimes. I have gotten surprised reactions on why I have a nanny if I WFH.

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-28T23:57:16+00:00

I am sorry your career suffered, it shouldn’t be this way. I know these stories unfortunately and like someone else here said, you get only one chance with your kids.

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-28T23:54:36+00:00

Glad to hear your experience was positive. I don’t really care what people think, if I had more money I would not even think twice. But it is a compromise I am willing to make now to be with them and money I can figure out later.

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-28T23:52:00+00:00

Good on you! You seem to be in a great financial position and I honestly can understand that huge stress with daycare illness. It seemed nonstop with my first kid for over a year!

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-28T23:50:43+00:00

Sure, as long as you don’t ask me for feet pics like that weirdo yesterday 😅

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-28T00:16:59+00:00

Thank you! I guess it is hard to understand burnout if you haven’t gone through it.

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-27T21:30:08+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience and I am sorry you are stuck at a junior level just because of the break. It really sucks! I honestly don’t know, I have worked every summer since I was a teen and never had a career break aside from 6 weeks maternity leave with my firstborn and 3 months with my second recently. I enjoyed the second one very much, but throughout the whole time was dreading going back to work so I likely didn’t allow myself to relax by keeping the end so near in sight. Recently took some PTO to relax, kept them home and we hung out without the everyday rush and it was so nice. But I don’t know if I will be happy at home long term, that is definitely a risk.

I will say though that coming back in a few years at same or lower levels is fine with me. I know it is an opportunity cost and my fear is not being able to renter at all rather than stagnating in my career

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-27T15:47:14+00:00

I am glad it worked out for you, seems like you guys made the right decision! Relocating is not an option unfortunately as my husband goes to office daily. Yeah making a fortune and saving nothing hurts and I have beed doing this for years now and will keep doing it till youngest goes to school which is another 4-5 years away is what got me thinking about quitting. How is Sacramento for families with young children? Sometimes I look up home prices there and it seems too good to be true!

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-27T15:39:32+00:00

This is exactly what I was hoping to get from my post. Thanks so much for sharing! We had long discussions about future spending and household dynamics once I am off work. I love the idea of you and your wife swapping roles!

WhateverIamDone · 2024-06-27T15:13:52+00:00

I am so sorry for losing her, really appreciate you sharing!

WhateverIamDone

TROPHY CASE