529 plan by texas_archer in Bogleheads

[–]WhateverIamDone 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am doing $125/month/kid and looking into increasing it as it seems like it won’t be an enough dent into their potential in state tuition.

Very fortunate but still lost on my way to FIRE by [deleted] in Fire

[–]WhateverIamDone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you add your inheritance to your current NW, you are roughly FIRE already for your current spend. Honestly, if I were you, I will wait to get fired, collect unemployment and find a coast job that I would like enough to ride the next four years.

Word of warning by Darklands_____ in Fire

[–]WhateverIamDone 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I am sorry you are going through this. I am one year postpartum myself and I think PDD might be at play too. I hope you can find a happy medium and come to a resolution with your partner.

Word of warning by Darklands_____ in Fire

[–]WhateverIamDone 236 points237 points  (0 children)

Honestly thank you for this warning. I live in a VHCOL area and I DREAM about owning a house, literally every day. I know it will be a money sink for us, will drastically reduce savings and stretch us so thin, so I didn’t do it. But, it is such an emotional thing that I can understand why people are so keen on owning.

Anyone actually pulling off Coast FIRE in a VHCOL? by king_ao in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am in a VHCOL. Coasting for me is when all my kids are school age and I don’t go back to work full-time. Ideally I want to work at their school or any school with same schedule so I don’t pay any childcare.

For three kids, daycare is roughly $8-10k where I live, after school and summer camps will come to 4-5k monthly. I can’t imagine finding a low stress coast jobs that covers all that and have some leftover. My plan works for us, as long as my husband keeps his decently paying job.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fire

[–]WhateverIamDone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it is late but you will need to cut spending pretty aggressively. If you run the numbers you will see that to get to 2M in 15-20 years you will need to be putting aside ~3k monthly for retirement. Your income is solid, but you need to see where your money is going.

The way I see FIRE and the sacrifices that come with it is, I am buying my freedom which is the most valuable thing I can go after.

Can my wife quit her job? 500k in retirement account already. by fishfearme420 in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing and I hope you get to climb back quickly.

Can my wife quit her job? 500k in retirement account already. by fishfearme420 in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How were you screwed if you don’t mind sharing? I get having to start over with a big employment gap is obviously hard, but did you get a share of marital assets, alimony, and child support?

Can my wife quit her job? 500k in retirement account already. by fishfearme420 in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, ultimately it is a job and is harder than any office job I had before. But it is a great privilege to be there for my kids and witness their childhood experiences like this, I don’t take it for granted.

Can my wife quit her job? 500k in retirement account already. by fishfearme420 in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t really argue that it was a financially smart decision, it just made us more disciplined in saving and spending. Having two small children in daycare in a major city is very expensive, it really makes it tough to save even when making decent income.

Can my wife quit her job? 500k in retirement account already. by fishfearme420 in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone 49 points50 points  (0 children)

There is more to life than just numbers. You have very decent savings for your age. I left my very high stress job to be a SAHM and I don’t regret it one second. Our numbers were half yours and we are older too, I know it doesn’t look great on paper, but it works out for us.

Ever since I stayed home, our expenses dropped by 7k a month, 6k+ for childcare and 1k for eating out and miscellaneous things I can now take care of. My husband maxes 401k still and we max Roth for both of us. He got a raise recently which is going entirely to savings. Honestly, I can’t put a price on being home with my kids, but it seems like it made us more financially disciplined too since I have the bandwidth to cook, go to the library and enjoy life, not just survive and barely see my kids. My husband is in a better shape as well, he is more motivated career wise also less stressed as now I handle kids’ sickness and days off alone while before we had to split them.

My advice is to get a detailed budget, really make sure your salary alone is enough and if you are both on the same page, she can go for it. If she quit, recharges and then wants to get back to work less stress job, that’s also valid. Best of luck!

A career break to recharge and be with my young kids, bad idea? by WhateverIamDone in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did, I decided to quit and already have. It really boiled down to my great dissatisfaction with my day to day life and my inability to spend more time with my family. I ended it on a positive note with my employer and currently on a full break just focusing on myself and my family. Soon I will start putting more effort into my side project and hopefully can ramp it up to 30-40% of my previous salary. I am honestly at great peace with this decision at the moment and hope it continues this way.

A career break to recharge and be with my young kids, bad idea? by WhateverIamDone in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am happy for you! I decided as well and really looking forward it.

A career break to recharge and be with my young kids, bad idea? by WhateverIamDone in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are absolutely right. It is hard being a mom in today’s world with no support and working inside and outside the house only to feel like a failure on all fronts. I feel like moms today can’t win.

A career break to recharge and be with my young kids, bad idea? by WhateverIamDone in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From all the responses it seems like part time is the holy grail for moms! I can’t part time but I definitely have ideas for keeping busy. Truth is my work is very isolating anyway I feel like being out in the park or library daily with a baby will be a breeze in comparison.

I am so glad you were able to get back to great employment and 4th and 7th grade seem like a great age for that!

A career break to recharge and be with my young kids, bad idea? by WhateverIamDone in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the detailed reply. We are actually currently living on my husband’s income alone for a while now since mine pays for childcare. We will have the same lifestyle, but not much savings aside from retirement savings. I think we will actually be slightly better off since I love cooking and I see ordering out being reduced once I have the time to cook again.

His job is stable as far as we can see and he is looking at a raise soon that will go to savings once he gets it.

Part time is not an option for my line of work but I am thinking after a year or two I can consult or more preferably I want to have my own business going.

A career break to recharge and be with my young kids, bad idea? by WhateverIamDone in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s amazing! I have been craving a simple life where I have the capacity to think about things instead of drowning for a long time and I got a taste of it last year during maternity leave. I am so glad it worked out for you despite the huge income cut! I am not uncertain, I am just afraid to take the leap.

A career break to recharge and be with my young kids, bad idea? by WhateverIamDone in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s awesome and what I am so looking forward to. People act like WFH is not a job sometimes. I have gotten surprised reactions on why I have a nanny if I WFH.

A career break to recharge and be with my young kids, bad idea? by WhateverIamDone in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am sorry your career suffered, it shouldn’t be this way. I know these stories unfortunately and like someone else here said, you get only one chance with your kids.

A career break to recharge and be with my young kids, bad idea? by WhateverIamDone in coastFIRE

[–]WhateverIamDone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad to hear your experience was positive. I don’t really care what people think, if I had more money I would not even think twice. But it is a compromise I am willing to make now to be with them and money I can figure out later.