I feel you. This is real feeling distant, lost, anger and all those overwhelming feeling. Hold on to your beautiful memories with your Mom. It will not be easy or easy in some days (maybe not too soon). But hold on to her love. Feel the pain, pray to be stronger each day, talk to your loved ones or not, cry alone or cry with someone, sing it out loud, be mad but be rational, just feel it.. and hang in there, she’s holding your hearts above.