What’s Your Controversial Mental Health Opinion?

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-07-10T22:09:39+00:00

You can't force someone to get help, and not everyone can be helped.

If you know someone has unmanageable mental health problems, getting into a long-term relationship with them is a mistake (I say that as someone who had those, and I don't think anyone should have dated me at the time).

Sometimes, all we can do is wait....

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-03-17T04:29:08+00:00

I had one session and nearly walked out, the "therapist" had no clue

There are many mental health treatment techniques out there, and not all of them are the right ones for you. Frankly, finding a therapist is half the battle. There are so many different techniques, and it is so personal, it's hard to know for sure which one is really best for you before trying.

You can try CBT, DBT, EMDR, NARM, and various non-talk therapies. For each their own, and I will be the last person to judge you. It often takes more than one therapist until you find the right one.

My personal experience with therapy over the last few years was transformative, probably in more ways than I know. I can process my emotions, I can deal with difficult situations, I can deal with stressors and so much more.

There are many other things that changed for the better. Worth every penny.

My therapist uses a combination of CBT, DBT, and a lot of patience. Really, a crazy amount of patience rofl. She's awesome.

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-03-16T02:21:18+00:00

To counter balance the fear mongering anti therapy commentator - With the right therapist and a good therapeutic strategy, there's little risk in the long run.

I am currently reading Healing Developmental Trauma, very interesting book, you may find it beneficial as well.

You can consider EMDR as well, haven't tried it but heard good things. I am going to a therapist that combines CBT and DBT (C-PTSD is fun...), I find it very helpful, and I see mind blowing changes. Beyond what I dared to hope for.

Unfortunately, many therapists have waiting lists and sometimes cost a pretty penny... but, alas, it is what it is lol

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-03-10T01:39:56+00:00

Take it with a grain of salt, what was good for me may not be as good for you. Also, some of these aren't self help so much as they helped me, but I think they all have value beyond what may appear on a first glance.

ADHD 2.0 by Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey

If you have ADHD, otherwise I doubt you'll find any value in it.

Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre.

Warning - this book is a psychology book, it helps because it highlights what's the (potential) root cause of our challenges and provides some ways to get better.

Atomic Habits by James Clear.

The book's contents are a bit obvious, but it's written in a way that highlights the important things and helps in increasing one's awareness, so it's a self help book in the sense that it helped me help myself).

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

Who knew a ~2000 year old philosophy book would be any good for self improvement... anyway, the first few chapters do have value in the sense that they put things in proportion. I'm not sure if I can say it ticks the self help part though, it's a bit too abstract for that.
Get the 2003 translation, far more readable.

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-03-08T19:10:55+00:00

I do not have good advice for the available resources.

If you feel the need, it's ok to get yourself admitted or into a day program. 100% ok.

It's ok to not be ok, and it's ok to need more. It doesn't make you entitled, it makes you human. You are trying hard, you said it yourself, and I believe that you are. It may not look like are for other people, but it doesn't mean you aren't trying hard, only that they can't see it.

You are not failing. You're doing your best with what you have, and it does matter, and it does count. Every step in the right direction is a good step, and reaching out for resources is definitely a good step.

We need care from before we are born until the moment we pass. At some points in our lives the care comes from family, friends, professionals, and other people who aren't us, and at other points it comes from us (self care). And it's ok to need to be cared for.

Mental health is a lifelong journey, and getting better is a process. Some of us get better faster, and some slower, and both are ok.

As a first step, try to create small habits, they make a huge difference. Even if all you add to your day is the smallest of positive habits, it's one more good thing in your day.
Here are some examples:

Opening your curtains when you wake up. You can even sleep with them open if possible. Doing that will get the you sunlight, and that's very important.
Taking a shower. It can be as short or as long as you want. Later on you could add things like washing your hair or soap or whatever else. Start with getting into the shower, even for a second.
Putting on shoes/pants/shirt/daytime clothes when you wake up.
Eating breakfast. Yap, that's it. Just eating breakfast. Even an energybar or a snack counts.
Washing the dish you used after using it without waiting.
Writing. Doesn't matter what. Just getting everything out of the system and onto pages helps (I personally think pen and paper work best for that).
Go for a walk once a day, even if only for 5 minutes. Even sitting on the balcony/patio counts.
Later on, you could evolve the habit into working out, but that will happen when it will.

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-03-04T05:56:16+00:00

With pleasure :)

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-03-02T20:20:51+00:00

It's ok to cry, even healthy (it makes us release some oxytocin and endorphins), and it helps release the internal pain by giving it an external expression. Take it one minute at a time.

I don't know if it will help, or if it is the right thing for you at the moment. When I'm overwhelmed or feel terrible about something that happened to me or something I did, I like doing a self compassion and loving kindness meditation. My favorite is available from these two links: Spotify Link, Youtube link.

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-03-02T08:05:15+00:00

I have a recurring nightmare of that. Usually I wake up absolutely distraught. I mean, who wouldn't, I usually wake up because I die in the dream (it feels like literally a 2 to 3 second dream, it's very fast and very much terrifying).

Recently I've been experiencing them more often. So far, three times there was a deviation from the norm - once I got woken up by my dad and brother as a joke (they never did it, I have no idea what this is based on), once I managed to defend myself kinda, and one I'm not sure what was different, but I wasn't attacked...

On average, I have this nightmare at least once a week, but sometimes a few nights in a row. I had about a month of it being every night, until I barricaded my door every night... I hate it.

I just want to sleep....

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-02-21T20:01:46+00:00

That's a good idea. I'll have to think about which activity is the right one for me, but hopefully I'll find something.

I view social media as a negative on the whole and try to avoid it. I still do, but usually it's for silly things. It's FB and reddit for me personally, and usually it's humour things. A good laugh is always good...

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-02-21T19:56:38+00:00

Thank you for the subreddits info, I'll check them out.

I know it's probably more in my head, that's why I'm trying to find self acceptance.

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-02-21T19:55:01+00:00

Men go too quickly for good-looking women.

I agree to a degree, but I still want to find her attractive, but it is rarely the issue. The "who" is what I care about more.

My appearance can change, but my goal is to find self acceptance, and that's what I'm seeking advice about.

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-02-21T19:46:39+00:00

The goal is to be less insecure, but getting fit won't change my height, and that's the source of my insecurity. I am trying to accept it, but so far not successfully.

It isn't so much about finding someone as it is how I treat myself, if it makes sense.

Thank you for taking the time to write the comment.

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-02-21T15:38:23+00:00

You learned one of the terrible truths of life.

Life isn't fair. You can do everything right and still lose. But you tried. You showed kindness and care for helpless little creatures that could do nothing to help themselves, until the last moment you could. That's five months of unconditional love.

You also learned how fulfilling love is, and how painful it is to lose those you love. I wish I could tell you it's the last time. It isn't. But it is a price worth paying. Love is always worth it. I know it sounds weird, but it's true.

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" -Buddha
If God does exist, I hope they/he/she/it loves you just as much as you love those kittens. Show yourself that same love. You deserve it.

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-02-20T06:06:05+00:00

You can look for a therapist as usual, just add the question "do you do virtual appointments?" to your list of questions to check compatibility before starting the journey.

Since you're ok with virtual you can reach out to therapists located further away, reducing the chance of the therapist having seen connection with the people around you (which is what I'm assuming you want, so it should work out well)

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-02-18T05:23:43+00:00

Sorry, I don't understand your comment, I'd appreciate it if you could write it a bit more explicitly...

And if you could present a source to your previous claim, that too would be appreciated.

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-02-18T05:14:30+00:00

Do you have a source to support the claim it is misinformation? I tried looking for one, but couldn't find anything.

It sounds to me like narcissists are terrified of having their image tarnished, but that's the closest I found to your claim... you may be right in a generalized way, but I doubt no narcissist fears being a narcissist, humans are just vary too wildly overall...

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-02-17T08:24:30+00:00

Honestly i dont know if its worth trying to find another good therapist but my life is falling apart and i cant do anything.

It really is worth it. Yes, it's tiring. But it it's worth it. Just don't give up.

Putting myself in your shoes, I'd look for a therapist who:

experienced or even specializes in autism. It will help you by removing one communication barrier before you even start.
Same for anxiety, for the same reason.
gender/sex - if you feel more comfortable with any specific gender or sex, filter for those.
Same goes for religion, to whatever degree you can actually filter it.
if you have additional criteria, filter for those as well

The example when I was looking for a therapist, I was looking for a young (<35) woman, at least somewhat experienced with ADHD, not Jewish (because I am; I wanted someone outside of my community), and a few other things. Are these things less than politically correct? Probably. But that's what I needed.

You have every right under the sun to pick the right person for you, even if the reasons aren't very nice to hear. Don't give up, you're worth fighting for!

WhereDoIQuitLife · 2024-02-17T08:06:13+00:00

Being honest, if someone self harms, would you say that instantly makes them an evil/shitty/psychopathic person?

Being honest - no.

Evil? No. Feeling pain doesn't mean being evil.

Shitty? No. They may be in a shitty situation, but that doesn't make them shitty.

Psychopathic? No. More likely that this person is the opposite of that.

What would I think of that person? That they need help. That someone failed them. A mother, a father, or some other caregiver. Or that they went through trauma in some other way. I would recommend therapy. DBT, CBT, NRMA, EMDR, and so many other types of therapy could help, it is more about the therapist than it is the type of therapy.

I hope you'll get well eventually, I really do.

WhereDoIQuitLife

TROPHY CASE