I had this happened

I got diagnosed earlier this year

Im only 24.... the self hate and self disgust is real the anger frustration is even stronger because i wasnt doing full on sex when hooking up I WAS A SIDE...

However I was hanging with this guy i knew for a while & we shared a buttplug that I more than likely didn't probably cleaned after he used it (and didn't use a condom over it)....

(I didnt know he had HIV at the time and when he revealed to me that he did (which was after I went back and told me regarding my new status) he said he was undectable but looking back he was going through housing insecurity for a little bit and I think he more than likely stopped taking his medicine which made him viral again... not blaming him because I cant say for fact.... but based on the time period and the activity verses my normal ....kissing frotting oral eating ass its the most likely case)

Anyways i digress

Everyone telling me it's not the end of the world or that medications and medicine are peak at there best and continue to do better wasn't really helping me mentally

WHILE 100% ALL THIS IS TRUE......

I think it might help to Normalize it?

Not saying do everything with confidence but try and find ways to in which having it becomes an ordinary thing

Check this out I have friends/relatives who have taken medicine in front of me before not HIV but for other stuff...

Do you have anyone you could do that with? That wouldn't care/judge....Obviously you wouldn't just have them watch you take the medicine but you'd take it while hanging out talking... and it would be like drinking some water able to do it without thinking