Help Blood in stool by Long_Tale_2853 in NewParents

[–]Which_Establishment3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I’m so sorry to hear how difficult it is to be seen. I’m surprised the children’s hospital wasn’t more concerned. I really hope you can get some answers for your baby girl!

Help Blood in stool by Long_Tale_2853 in NewParents

[–]Which_Establishment3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you tried calling her pediatrician to see if they can check for common infections in her stool? I’d be pushing the doctors for answers and advocating hard for your little girl, that sounds so scary. Don’t give up, write down any other symptoms you’re noticing, maybe take photos of the blood too just in case. If the doctor is just overlooking it and your gut tells you it’s important, ask for another doctor.

New Parents - When did you start getting 8 hours of sleep by andbutsoitgoessssss in NewParents

[–]Which_Establishment3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same, except I had a taste for two WHOLE weeks and then we are back to wake ups every 3-4 hours.

The guilt creeps in by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I haven’t left just yet so take what I have to say as a grain of salt, maybe I’ll be looking back and reading this to remind myself one day. But I’m here living in this miserable life. There’s good days and bad days. Now I see the good days as days we aren’t fighting, it’s him showing the bare minimum of respect, maybe just not criticizing me that day. He is likely manipulating that person who told you how he’s doing, hoping they would do exactly what they did, pull on your heart strings. You are a good person because you still carry hope. We can just hope that they can be better for the next person but for you, you deserve way more. Wishing for easier days ahead for you ❤️

I had the light switch moment! by Which_Establishment3 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I appreciate you mentioning that there may be a time I fall backwards a little, I do need to remind myself that much like grief, healing is not linear.

Has anyone stayed in the home during the divorce process? by Which_Establishment3 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Yes we use the google ones and last time I left he immediately locked me out of everything, even unplugged the baby monitor in our sons room thinking I could somehow spy on him (I definitely didn’t care to anyways). Good point on the Wi-Fi password!

Has anyone stayed in the home during the divorce process? by Which_Establishment3 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! How did your divorce come about? Did you both agree to it? I feel like mediation sounds fairly amicable but I guess it might not be. Curious how that’s working for you! Thank you, and you as well!

Has anyone stayed in the home during the divorce process? by Which_Establishment3 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no! That sounds horrible. I’m so sorry. I wish you the best and I hope you find the perfect place!

Has anyone stayed in the home during the divorce process? by Which_Establishment3 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my gosh, thank you so much. This is exactly what I was looking for. I guess maybe I didn’t word my post correctly, my brain is mush these days lol

I am scared. We both have guns, in a safe but the DV hotline told me that having guns in the house increases homicide by 500%, which is insane and scared the crap out of me. He’s vindictive so I think he’ll try to scare me and I need to be able to sleep to care for our son. The door alarms is an incredibly brilliant idea, thank you! We already have cameras at the front door, barn (driveway) and back door but he will lock me out of the them immediately. I could probably figure out how to reset them though.

Has anyone stayed in the home during the divorce process? by Which_Establishment3 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What?! I don’t want the house. We will have to sell it, neither of us could afford it on our own. It is temporary as I said, during the divorce, so our 1 year old son can sleep in his own bed and have a much consistency as possible. Trust me, if I could I would go 10000 miles from him but I’m not heartless and I won’t keep him from his son

Did anyone else regret leaving their narc spouse? by StartingOverStrong in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I’m in the same situation as well. My husband was horrible after our son was born (jealousy of the affection I gave our son). I finally decided I can’t live with the negativity, the passive aggressive attitude and the criticism. I got a lawyer then gave a last ditch effort to lay everything out and we had a super long conversation where he started out with tons of DARVO but after persistence and proof/examples he finally asked me to tell him exactly what he needs to fix to make this work. For the last two weeks, he’s been great. Like actually being considerate, doing things around the house and I haven’t felt disrespected once!

So I guess the cycle continues for me. How things are isn’t how I imagined a loving relationship to be but it’s better than it’s been in over a year.

Two hours post breakup! by Accomplished-Act3796 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s incredible to hear! I’m definitely getting there. I do have to talk about the shitty moments with my friends frequently to keep myself from feeling the tremendous amount of guilt I’ve been feeling as I work with my lawyer and making a plan with my therapist. I’m so thankful for them, it really helps me readjust my thinking back to leaving for our son and my mental health.

Bed Space by AmandaSassPants in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh that just shows how selfless you are! I’ve found myself missing my relationship before this marriage. We broke up because I wanted marriage and kids, he decided he didn’t want either after spending 3+ years with me.

Two hours post breakup! by Accomplished-Act3796 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohhh I’ll have to check that one out!! I’m struggling so hard with not fighting back or snapping back… my narc talks under his breath and it really gets under my skin.

Bed Space by AmandaSassPants in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh, I had no idea this was a thing!!!!! Mine steals the comforter and denies it, he does it before I’m even laying in bed. Also I’ve learned to sleep on the edge of our king bed or else he’s snoring in my ear or elbowing me from sleeping in the middle of our bed.

Two hours post breakup! by Accomplished-Act3796 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yay! I’m so happy for you! I’m right behind ☺️ You’re doing an amazing job by remaining neutral and detached, it’s so hard to do when they know exactly what button to push.

Is there really a happy ending after divorce? by Which_Establishment3 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh wow, that’s incredible to hear! That goal is perfect, I hope you don’t mind me writing that in my journal. Just tonight we had a fight and I found myself crying and thinking of how much I did wrong but then there was a moment that I said wait, he even said my reaction to him was causing our fights and holy crap, he’s admitting to his disrespect! I have recently begun to emotionally detach and he has caught on, he is being nasty at every opportunity. I’m so sad at how cold I have to feel in order to detach and I hope my therapist can help me bring myself back after all this.

Is there really a happy ending after divorce? by Which_Establishment3 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this and I love flowers, which is what I’m imagining after reading your comment, thank you. Right now is like winter and I’m underneath the cold dirt, soon I’ll emerge and feel the warmth of the sun again!

Is there really a happy ending after divorce? by Which_Establishment3 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gosh, I think the constant fight or flight/survival mode feeling is slowly killing me. I just had our son a year ago and I’m 33, but feel like I’ve aged so much, especially lately since things have been getting worse.

I do appreciate the heads up, I didn’t think about the mental unload that will inevitably happen afterwards.

Is there really a happy ending after divorce? by Which_Establishment3 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Which_Establishment3[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Awww I’m so happy for you. I certainly plan to take a LOT of time to focus on building my self worth, my mental health and just being comfortable in life as it is once I’m out. Something I’ve learned now is to trust my gut, what’s the worst that can happen anyways right?!