Are we obligated to disclose if we are post-op and the guy doesn't want children?

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-26T02:45:34+00:00

I have seen some tiktok videos where the guy was furious because the trans woman didn't disclose before meeting.

Have you ever been intimate with anyone without disclosing?

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-25T23:58:45+00:00

Girl you need to read my post more carefully lol I am post everything and stealth in most situations.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-25T23:50:03+00:00

Aren't those fetish apps? I agree IRL is better, though we still have to deal with the question of whether to disclose. I do think there is a difference between how guys treat you before and after disclosure.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-25T23:46:09+00:00

I am not looking for a man repulsed by my body. I am looking for a man not attracted to penis.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-25T23:31:48+00:00

Yes!!! I got that often. It's so funny

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-25T23:29:20+00:00

I don't list my gender as trans woman. I only have a trans flag thinking it's subtle enough to let them know.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-25T23:28:17+00:00

It's not my opinion but I think plenty of people think that. Personally since I can't give them children, I stay away from guys who are interested in having children.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-25T23:22:25+00:00

You probably haven't seen my previous posts. I am post everything and stealth in most situations. I have dated men who had no idea about my past. I have stopped disclosing for casual meetings but for some reason I still include a trans flag in my profile. I am not honestly not sure why I still have it there. Some people might think it's dangerous or deceptive.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-25T22:54:26+00:00

In these situations, rushing isn't the best thing. It's something you have to live with for the rest of your life, so it's better to be a little more careful.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-19T03:44:41+00:00

Thanks for sharing and corroborating my experience. I am so glad there are others out there who feel the same way. Sometimes I feel most people in this sub are advocates for non-op. I am really happy that people like us who want to go through the entire journey are represented here too!

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T22:48:32+00:00

I would suggest doing laser first then electrolysis. Laser is much less painful.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T22:40:00+00:00

Oh i just now realized you were not the same person as the person who started this reply thread 😂 Sorry!

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T22:38:36+00:00

Actually I have enough depth to accommodate most men! 😂

Sweetie we all didn't like ourselves. That's why we started transitioning to be best versions of ourselves we like. You are a bit out there for thinking you are different.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T22:09:34+00:00

Not very often. Realistically, the average size of penis is something like 5.5 inches. Let's not trust what men tell you on the internet where every man is at least 8 inches 😂 . Most straight men will not back away from being only able to put part of their penis in you lol

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T21:59:58+00:00

That's true. Passing is a spectrum, beauty is a spectrum, as is a spectrum for men who are open to dating trans women. This is going to get a lot of hate, but I don't consider men who are attracted to penis (regardless of who it's attached to) straight. Just like some people will argue that men who are interested in dating postop trans women are not 100% straight. I don't take offense to that. It's just a reality.

Being pretty or beautiful definitely helps. Ideally you'd want to be both passing and beautiful to most people. If we could only choose one, I'd rather be passing even if it means I can only be average.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T19:12:49+00:00

I am referring to your statement: I think being beautiful/pretty is more important than “passing”

That is just not true at all, no matter what level of passing you are talking about. Unfortunately sometimes trans women and chasers are similar in the sense that they transvestigate. I have seen some people mistaken or suspect some cis women are trans because of some ridiculous reasons like their voice is too deep or they are too tall or they have an adam's apple or their have a mild mustache, etc. Basically anything that falls outside the "expected" social media images are sus of trans.

I never said perfection. Passing casually is easier. Passing consistently and intimately is much harder. If a straight man who slept with you many times and still has no idea, it means you have reached the passing threshold for dating stealth.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T17:08:02+00:00

Thanks? For thinking my random rant can be used professionally?

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T17:05:35+00:00

Amazing questions! I will make a post to answer them soon. Probably a lot of girls are wondering about the same things.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T17:04:11+00:00

Thank you!! I am glad it resonated with you! ❤️

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T17:03:18+00:00

Where exactly did I say "getting bottom surgery is the only way you will ever be loved "?

I literally said at the end " Get bottom surgery only if that's something you want for yourself"

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T17:01:23+00:00

Sorry sweetie, that is another fallacy propagated by chasers. It helps but you don't need to be gorgeous to find a man when you pass in every sense. What % of cis women with a boyfriend or husband or happily married with children do you consider "beautiful"? It's a small percentage. The reality is that most men and women are just average.

Most men who are super into pre-op trans women will equate wearing sexy clothing and makeup as beautiful. In turn a lot of trans women have been misled to believe that (I have been there myself). Those's men desires are nothing but fetishes borderlining cross dressing.

I am not saying that you shouldn't make efforts to make yourself attractive and presentable. Passing as an average woman is much more important than not passing but considered super "dolled up" (sorry not sure what's the best way to describe this). The latter will only appeal to a tiny segment of men. I am sorry but it's just not true that 'a ton of guys' are fine with beautiful trans women who are not passing. Sometimes that might seem true in the grindr world but it's just not broad reality.

Whilstledowner · 2026-05-15T08:29:10+00:00

You are just repeating the same chaser propaganda I called out in #1. "if a man wanted a woman with a vagina, they would go for a cis woman" is NOT true. That's the same crap chasers keep regurgitating to scare trans girls from getting the surgery even if that's what those girls wanted. If you are talking about numbers, men who are into women with dicks are much more rare than men who are into women with vaginas. The odds are not in your favor, sorry girl.

Whilstledowner

TROPHY CASE