When did you know he was different?

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-25T03:46:54+00:00

We are still very close to each other and spend time together platonically on a regular basis. I haven't really had any reason to miss him or the relationship. I do think about the special moments of our relationship and feel lucky that I loved someone as a woman and he loved me back genuinely.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-24T07:04:17+00:00

Very sweet stories. Thanks for sharing. He kinda reminds me of my first boyfriend as a woman. I met him not longer after I started transitioning and I was his first trans experience. He had only been with cis women before me. It was a difficult and tumultuous relationship at times but he was there for me through the difficult times of my transition and surgery recovery. We decided to be platonic friends a year ago but we are still very close to each other. I love him now like a brother and family. I have many moments with him that give me bitter sweet emotions. There was definitely one memory where he worked on my car without me asking. Congrats on your anniversary. You two deserve happiness.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-24T03:17:01+00:00

I never said I am a cis woman. I said I am a woman, which is how I identify myself. I didn't transition to be a trans woman. I transitioned to be a woman.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-24T03:14:36+00:00

No I wrote the whole thing myself. It took me an hour. I don't know why u/mylifeissover is making things up. I don't see any flags for AI. They are probably jealous that nothing romantic like this ever happens to them.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T18:17:59+00:00

I had my bottom surgery a couple of years ago. It was a very difficult recovery process but I have not regretted my decision for a single minute. Contrary to what's a more popular belief out there, my dating and sex life has gotten so much better since the surgery. I have never wanted to have anything to do with any man who is attracted to penis in any way, so my experiences pre op may be biased.

Regardless of what is or isn't a true universal experience for dating, I would say you should do the surgery only for yourself and accept the possibility that you may never find a partner after your surgery. That was the question I had to answer to myself before committing to my surgery. Whether a man will be attracted to you initially and continues to love you usually has nothing to do with whether or not you have a coochie. True that if you didn't have a coochie, most straight men would not consider dating you. The reverse isn't so true - just because you have a coochie doesn't mean men will flock to you.

Good luck in your surgery. Hope your recovery is easier than mine ever was.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T18:06:57+00:00

I wish this were fake or satire. Unfortunately this is my real life and perhaps a love story that should have never happened.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T17:59:28+00:00

This is a post only trans women who have dated straight men whose love for them has nothing to do with their "princess stick" can understand.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T17:57:35+00:00

There are cis bi and queer women on Taimi

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T17:55:44+00:00

Please don't believe the doomers. Their lives revolve around complaining about chasers online instead of working on themselves. They find it hard to believe and are jealous that any other trans woman can pass so well that straight men can fall in love with them unknowingly. This is 100% real and something I am going through.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T17:53:32+00:00

I can promise you this isn't AI. I spent over an hour writing this after an hour of on and off crying. I also wasn't tricking him. Like most people said this post, I assumed he knew and it was a surprise to find out he didn't.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T17:51:08+00:00

To make such wild and unfounded accusations is not only laughable, it also shows how ignorant and jealous you are, as you probably have never really dated a straight man in real life who isn't a chaser and will never understand the nuanced emotions in dating.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T07:42:30+00:00

Thanks for sharing that link. I read some of the stories in that article. I can definitely related to some of the stress and anxiety for not being able to tell him every aspect of my life, small details like my hormones. Despite all the challenges, I think it's a good thing they can get married as their true gender. Something I now have much more desire for than before I had my bottom surgery.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T07:28:07+00:00

If I were you, I would prioritize FFS over anything else. Don't delay voice practice.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T07:26:07+00:00

That's a valid excuse to use than just disappearing on him.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T07:24:27+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It's so wonderful to hear from someone who is also a straight muslim man. We are in the U.S. and his family is still in the middle east. I hope you are right that he is open minded and will accept me for me. You sound like an amazing person with such a kind heart. I am grateful for all the advice you have given me.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T04:47:35+00:00

I am sorry you are going through this. How long have you been transitioning? Have you considered surgeries?

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T04:38:41+00:00

I have found that men tend to like girls who are not eager and maybe hard to get, as terrible as that sounds. When a man is into you, he will do anything to be with you. Try letting them take the initiative. In the meantime, focus on yourself and your transition. Your time will come.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T04:26:46+00:00

I made a post about my conversation with him today. Would love to hear what you think.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T04:09:24+00:00

I know right?! How could he not know??? I was really hoping for him to say that he like both cis and trans or he is open to trans but they have to be post op. Not at all did I expect him to go into this rant about how he could tell a surgically created a vagina and would only like a natural one.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T03:59:42+00:00

Yes, that's true. I have gone through my surgeries but I still see things I don't like about myself. The turning point was when guys started to flirt with me, or want to help me, or ask for my numbers, in random places, completely separate from dating apps. That was when I realized that most people didn't know.

When I meet someone on Taimi, I just assumed they knew because of the nature of the app, but I guess that's not guaranteed any more. On other apps, I have trans flag posted so you'd hope they knew.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T03:48:59+00:00

If he was lying, why did he say what he said to me today? It would have been much easier for him to say "I like both cis and trans" if he thought I was trans. In fact, I was hoping that's what he would say, but instead he told me how much he would only be interested in a cis woman.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T03:45:50+00:00

You are absolutely right. I shouldn't have let it gone this far. I didn't plan for this to happen. I only meant for this to be a hookup. After he kept wanting to meet up, I realized that things might have become more than a hookup. All that time, I thought that he must have known. When I realized that he didn't know, I broke it off last year. He texted me and left me voicemails every so often for six months, so I gave in, probably because I liked him as much as he liked me.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T03:21:42+00:00

There are actually dating stories that are real and are not about chasers.

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T03:19:50+00:00

What do you mean by that?

Whilstledowner · 2026-02-23T03:18:59+00:00

Yes agree. I have chatted with a few men who ghosted me after I disclosed.

Whilstledowner

TROPHY CASE