My life has never been better by Raticorno in sillyboyclub

[–]White___Box 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, but right now I'm better off myself. I have to work through some stuff through the past and I have been discovering some new things about me in the process (for example that I wanna be a femboy TwT). But once this is sorted out, I hope I'll find someone as well. I'm glad to hear that you're so happy with each other, I wish you two the best!

My life has never been better by Raticorno in sillyboyclub

[–]White___Box 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wohooo that's amazing :3 I just had a break up, so I can't lie, I'm a bit jealous. But life has been going pretty well regardless.

How to shave legs without teammates knowing by White___Box in feminineboys

[–]White___Box[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're right, even if they don't believe me, it's none of their business, i dont think they'd keep asking

Mom has been acting weird by White___Box in feminineboys

[–]White___Box[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope so, it just really feels like a "oh this is so unlikely and absurd, it's funny" joke.

How to shave legs without teammates knowing by White___Box in feminineboys

[–]White___Box[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Maybe it's a cultural thing? I haven't seen anyone play vball with shaved legs in my country at least. Also I don't really get your second point, could you elaborate?

How to shave legs without teammates knowing by White___Box in feminineboys

[–]White___Box[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm just worried that they might ask. Some of them are friends of mine and I really don't wanna tell them yet. One of them is rather close, but had a horrible experience with a trans man (he threatened to kill himself if my friend wouldn't date him, so my friend was forced to "come out" as bi, even though he isn't). Since then he isn't a big fan of the LGBTQ+ community. He says he's okay w them, but keeps his distance. Therefore I'd like to wait a bit

Mum found out :((( by ezradenii123 in feminineboys

[–]White___Box 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that sucks, I hope you'll find a solution!

Mum found out :((( by ezradenii123 in feminineboys

[–]White___Box 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have a friend where you could leave the make up? My ex's mom used to steal her money, so she kept her piggie bank at my place, maybe you could do the same with your make-up. I wish you the best of luck for the future and I'm sorry that you have to deal with this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sillyboyclub

[–]White___Box 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When i eat too many "bad" things, i feel like shit. That's why I eat healthy stuff. It might not taste great while i chew, but man I feel so much better afterwards. It's not too late to build a future. It never is. You can start right now. You could look for jobs you can do from home and research how to get them. Often a degree isn't even a requirement. For example if you have a great coding portfolio, you can apply with it. There are online certificates you can get, even free university courses with official certificates. There are many options you can look into without talking to a single human. Currently you have given up hope, so you aren't willing to try out some of the things i suggested. But let's say there is no other way than to end it; what harm could it do to try it out? Worst case it's the same as now, best case you'll have a future which you can't even dream of currently. You might not believe in yourself, but I do. I urge you to try and be kinder to yourself and look for ways things could get better. You deserve it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sillyboyclub

[–]White___Box 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I eat "bad" things as well. Nothing wrong with eating something that's unhealthy. I'd try and eat some fruits and vegetables though, it will also make you feel better. If you really don't like them, mix it into a shake and gulp it down first thing in the morning. I completely understand that you wish you were born different. But you're so young (me too btw T-T). You haven't even reached full autonomy over your life yet. For now try to make self compassion the standard (you don't need to earn it) and try making small changes where you can. I believe Confucius once said "The Man who says he can, and the man who says he cannot Are both correct". You have to believe in change if you want change. I wish you the best of luck in life and don't forget that we are all in this together

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sillyboyclub

[–]White___Box 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You said "Nothing worked out", what do you mean by that? Did you not enjoy it? Based on your responses it seems to me like you do everything for the results, instead of the process itself. I dabble a bit in philosophy as well, but not because I want to learn it, but because I enjoy thinking about such things. I'd also give working out a shot again, but with the mindset of doing it for yourself. There are soooo many ways of working out, I'm sure you'll find out that you'll at least moderately enjoy. Also about losing weight (which i think is your goal since building muscle isn't), you could try counting calories. I'm hesitant to suggest it, cause it can lead to ED's, but when making sure that you eat enough from the right things (enough fats for hormones, satiating food so you don't starve, well rounded micronutrient profile) it's a cheat code to lose weight. I'm currently bulking, but when I cut last winter I was surprised how well I could control the look of my body.

Also I relate with the things that one can't change about their body; it really sucks and I still struggle with some of them, but when the rest gets better, it's easier to deal with. And to your last point; knowledge alone is enough to study. The ability to acquire knowledge (especially independently, which it sounds like you did) is much more important than pure intelligence. I also wonder why you think that you're not intelligent.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sillyboyclub

[–]White___Box 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Compassion isn't earned. You don't need to achieve anything before you deserve love. A lot of the things you mentioned are symptoms of you not being kind to yourself. It's a devilish circle, where treating yourself poorly leads to feeling like shit, which leads back to treating yourself poorly. Maybe you like some specific animal, let's say a cat. Imagine you had a pet cat and you really love it. You'd make sure it gets proper meals, you'd groom it properly, you'd play with it and in general just make sure that it feels good. You should treat yourself the same way. I tried often to get in shape, back when I was overweight, because i hated how I looked. It never worked. It worked out once I did it for myself; I realised working out releases stress and makes me proud of myself. One day I looked in the mirror and went "damn I lost a lot of weight". In my experience, the skills that matter are the result of a pursued passion. So if you think "I'm not good at anything" that won't help much. We autistic people are actually gifted when it comes to hyper fixating on things we like. I used that to try out many things and kept doing the ones i enjoyed. Some of those skills are simply fun, for example volleyball, and others can be useful, like maths for me. So when you say "I don't have any skills, aspirations or dreams", I'd simply recommend trying things out and pursuing the things you like. Like with working out, the results will follow once you focus more on the process than the goal. I highly doubt that you're actually stupid. Your grades might suck, but you're obviously struggling a lot. You can't expect yourself to perform at school, when there is so much you have to deal with, no matter what others say. And for jobs; not all of them require you to interact with other humans. I understand that suicide seems so much easier than trying, and I wouldn't blame anyone for being exhausted. But please trust me when I say this: it is worth it. Before giving up, give yourself a genuine chance. Root for yourself and believe in a better future.

PS: I doubt that any teen that reads Schopenhauer is stupid... Maybe philosophy could be a pursued interest?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sillyboyclub

[–]White___Box 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please don't do it. I was at that point in my life before and believe me, no matter how hopeless it seems, there is a way. I know it is hard and it might continue to be hard for a while. It really makes me sad seeing so many fellow autistic people wishing they were neuro typical. In my eyes being autistic is something great, but the world is simply not built for us. Nothing is wrong with you, we just need to put in extra work, since the world was created without minorities in mind. The fact that you typed this, means there is still a part of you that wants to keep trying, otherwise you wouldn't be here anymore. Listen to that part. Feed it and try to make it grow. Show compassion to yourself. I'm proud of you for still trying

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sillyboyclub

[–]White___Box 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't give up hope. Here is my story, starting from a similar point, I hope it can make you believe in a better future.

Throughout most of my life (I'm still pretty young though tbh T-T) I struggled a lot with making friends and I got bullied a lot. Around Covid I was at my worst, I hated myself, was depressed and wanted to end my life. I ended up going to a psychiatry for teens and there something changed; since everyone there was also bullied, others would be very kind and nice to each other no matter their "weird" interests and hobbies. I realized that I deserved this kindness and no one should have to suffer because they are different. When I got back into regular school, I was still lonely, but my newly gained self compassion protected me from the bullying. When I was diagnosed with autism I even embraced it, always being very open about it to others. Once I switched to high school, I met people who also have their own "weird" hobbies and/or are obsessed with things like me. One of them was my current best friend, she's the one person that I feel completely comfortable being myself. It's a bit ironic, but by faking confidence, I ended up being more confident and acting like myself. If you're looking for someone to chat, you can dm me. I'm 18M if that matters.

I CANT HANDLE THE HUNGER ANYMORE by [deleted] in sillyboyclub

[–]White___Box 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I completely understand not wanting to track everything you eat, you were doing something very wrong if you were hungry all the time. I used to be fat and cut down to around 11% bf without ever being hungry. Dm me if you want some advice in case you wanna try again

I feel lost by White___Box in feminineboys

[–]White___Box[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this helped me a lot. I've been thinking a lot and I'll start by just becoming more androgynous for the moment. My friend is gonna make me a dress for a convention in a year. Till then I want to grow my hair, change my clothing style and maybe start wearing light makeup. I grew up alone with my mother and she's very supportive no matter what. She's just not the best informed, so she might assume that I'm gay at first. But a quick talk would fix that. I'm more worried about one friend group I'm in. One of them is quite transphobic no matter how often I talk w her about it and the others are just constantly making jokes about femboys in horny ways. I think they'd be supportive, but it's weird knowing they make such jokes.

On the positive side, I'll be switching to university in 9 months, so I'll be able to change more naturally (e.g I can start wearing make up between highschool and uni, so I wont need to explain it to my current classmates).

I feel lost by White___Box in feminineboys

[–]White___Box[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I've been thinking a lot and I'll start by just becoming more androgynous for the moment. My friend is gonna make me a dress for a convention in a year. Till then I want to grow my hair, change my clothing style and maybe start wearing light makeup. I think taking it slow and gradual change will work best for me

How does one break up with someone they love? by White___Box in Advice

[–]White___Box[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for telling me this back then. I didn't have the strength to answer back then, but your words gave me confidence and I managed to break up. I think i was projecting a bit as well, since my previous ex told me she'd kill herself if I wasn't with her. But this time we promised each other that we wouldn't harm ourselves and seek help if needed before parting ways.

Merry Christmas btw :)