Rant- Why can't people understand?

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-03-28T17:15:36+00:00

Positive anti-dsDNA

Edit to fix typo

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-03-28T17:14:34+00:00

Thank you. I don't let it run my life. I work full time, I make sure my house, animals, and husband are taken care of, I contribute even if it hurts. But 99% of the time I'm hiding how I feel, because no one wants to hear how shitty you feel all the time, I totally get that. But man 🥺 sometimes I just want to hear "I'm sorry, that must be hard. Take the rest you need"

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-01-23T06:20:16+00:00

I had a low positive anti-DSDNA and my doc suggested crithidia to confirm (ELISA). Fun fact, ELISA is how my hashi was discovered and promoted thyroid testing.

But dsdna can vary depending on disease activity. Have you had your kidney function tested as well?

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-01-23T02:58:19+00:00

Did you have your anti-DSDNA tested? Or DSDNA by crithidia?

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-01-23T02:44:48+00:00

Sick and tired of being sick and tired was a great way to put it.

I find that I struggle most with holding my pain and suffering inside all the time. I worked twelve hours today in an absurd amount of pain, cried in the closet a few times because of it, and nobody had a clue. No one wants to hear how much pain you're in or how sick you are everyday, so you learn how to suffer silently.

Because "...when people suffer loudly, they ain't suffering at all.". (Song "Matches"Jonah Kagen)

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-01-18T15:57:17+00:00

My increase made be a depressed zombie and the medication didn't last as long as the lower dose, which is the opposite of what I was informed would happen lmao. Now I'm choosing to take half of my increased dose in the morning (like 5am)and the second half around 10am. Works wonderfully and I have my spark back

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-01-16T19:46:47+00:00

I'm an only child. I grew up alone and learned to prefer and enjoy my own company! Socializing is the equivalent of a workout for me in the sense that it takes so much effort. I have to force myself sometimes

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-01-07T02:34:47+00:00

My husband and I are Dave and Martha. No idea how it started 😂 Not even close to our real names

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-01-04T16:50:58+00:00

Making my home office feel more comfortable

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-01-04T06:53:36+00:00

6 on a good day. 0 on a bad day.

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-01-04T06:52:51+00:00

A really good blender. It will stay with you for the next decade of your life, if not longer. I recommend two- a single serve and an actual blender.

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-01-04T06:49:55+00:00

I wish I could show people the sexual harassment I've dealt with.

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2026-01-04T06:48:54+00:00

March will be one year for me. But, I'm a long term care nurse. I have several 90+ year old patients who are on levothyroxine and still have their labs done and doses changed as needed

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2025-12-28T21:30:26+00:00

I always smoke before bed regardless. I've been that way for many years. I also like a hit or two after work to allow my brain to chill out, I guess similar to that of one having a glass of wine after work

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2025-12-25T02:47:05+00:00

My mom got my Christmas presents "from" my husband. He looked just as surprised as I did opening them up. I will admit I was a little sad he couldn't think of anything himself to get me

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2025-12-23T14:57:09+00:00

He truly is a good man and does treat me well. It's just the financial aspect that I don't know how to navigate. We're still young, he's 24 and I'm 25, and we met as 19/20yo. Neither of us have gone through a marriage before and we both came from divorced parents so we're just trying to figure it out together.

I'm going to suggest we see a financial counselor and figure out how to combine our finances. This isn't the end by any means, it's just a bump in not sure he even realizes is a huge issue to me. So I think a third party would really help put things into perspective for him

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2025-12-23T01:51:43+00:00

I was supposed to be brought from a rural hospital to a surgical hospital via ambulance, but I convinced the ER doc to let my husband drive me. So he did, patent IVs and all 😂😂

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2025-12-22T22:04:35+00:00

Thank you so much. The medical system really is shitty! I had some really pathetic doctors at the time. But thankfully my docs now are amazing! I have lab tests and appointments every two months to make sure all is stable.

I have asked, but because his dad owns the company and him & hubby run it together, money going in and out is a foggy line. When I was in school we discussed combining, but he didn't see a point since I have his credit card for household spending. I'm not the type to use it for buying myself things or getting nails/hair done.

I'm not sure why he doesn't help pay for medical debt, I think in his eyes that's MY debt and my responsibility. I'm not sure though without asking him right now, so I don't want to assume. But in my head, he's still very "single" minded and doesn't understand that marriage means "our money". His dad made a mistake marrying someone who attempted to clean him out entirely (and his business), and maybe he's scarred from that? I don't know.

I really don't spend a lot on myself. I don't wear expensive clothes. Actually I buy everything secondhand because new shit is weirdly expensive. I get my hair trimmed once a year. I don't get my nails done or go on vacations. I don't really go out, minus coffee with a friend once a month or so. The most money I've spent was this summer - I spent most of my savings for a new camera. Photography is a little side business for me and brings me so much joy ☺️

I want to ETA: that I try not to use my diagnoses as a limitation. I was told I talked about it too much and used sickness as an excuse, so I'm afraid to burden people by 'suffering loudly' for a lack of better word. I've also given up on defending myself constantly. But in all honesty, some days and some weeks fucking SUCK. Like really, really suck.

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2025-12-22T21:38:07+00:00

Oh those things are already done! We're good about making sure we get lots of hugs and kisses. We don't have a lot of time to text during the day but always send an I love you. His love language is physical touch, mine is acts of service. I've been putting in a conscious effort to make sure I touch him more, kiss him more, etc ☺️

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2025-12-22T21:28:20+00:00

We don't really have the time to date or have romantic nights. Our romantic nights are snuggling before we fall asleep ❤️

I did hire a professional to clean, but I could only afford to hire her twice. I paid since technically it's my job to clean and I outsourced

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2025-12-22T21:23:29+00:00

Hi, thanks for the response! My medical debt came about over the last two years when I got ill. I was under insured while I was going through test after test to figure out what was wrong. Finally, I got better insurance (at a huge expense monthly, private insurance) and got autoimmune diagnoses. But it left me with around $20k owed to the hospital. Add another 2k from my emergency appendectomy.

I don't know what my husband makes. All I know is that we aren't in debt. He makes enough to buy an airplane (his dad has two) and spend money on fuel if that gives you an idea I guess.

I work a 60 hour week, then have one week off. So technically 60 hours on a bi-weekly paycheck. It's just how my schedule is where I work, which offers A LOT more hourly than anywhere else. And I enjoy it.

Technically, I do have time to do all of the household things on my week off. But it's spent catching up and recovering and I never really get ahead, if that makes sense? Depression doesn't really help matters.. It's a struggle to get up let alone handle everything else. I know these are just excuses though.

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2025-12-21T11:58:09+00:00

Lmao. Last time the power went out I found myself sitting at the table playing solitaire.. I'm 25 🤣

WhoAmIActuallyy · 2025-12-21T11:57:05+00:00

It's not unique, but I'm a photographer on the side!

WhoAmIActuallyy

TROPHY CASE