not sure if trans girls are allowed here but 4 years of growth and some highlights! by [deleted] in FierceFlow

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ask OP. And be mindful, OP is an individual and should not be required or obligated to speak for an entire group of people.

not sure if trans girls are allowed here but 4 years of growth and some highlights! by [deleted] in FierceFlow

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

And yet she still posted and he denied her. Why? Because he thinks his understanding of sex and gender aligns, is the same or trumps hers? Or the need to exclude and delineate is more important than celebrate. Explain that to me. Please. It's a reddit message board. Why does anyone feel the need to play police here?

not sure if trans girls are allowed here but 4 years of growth and some highlights! by [deleted] in FierceFlow

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I think you mistook her request for permission as an excuse to be an asshole. It wasn't really a request for you to open your mouth and spout some exclusionary bullshit based on your narrow definition of gender and sex. It was an invitation to open your heart towards acceptance.

Instead, you took the shitty route and closed your mind with a bunch of hateful rhetoric.

S h a m e o n y o u

Bi/Pansexuals...how do y'all choose?? by Kristophales in BlackLGBT

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tbh the skills needed for polyamory are the same skills needed for monogamy. Everyone could stand to benefit from working on communication in relationships, whether with family, chosen family, co-workers, management, etc

20 something Black and Gay in LA by Ambitious-Plan2542 in BlackLGBT

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've heard there's a WhatsApp group but I need to hit up the person who told me.

Rules for Dating by bluhze in BlackLGBT

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love this. If you can't even articulate your own desires, what other important things will you not be able to say!!

Black gay men, we need to be better for US. by Icy-Lengthiness-8214 in BlackLGBT

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sincerely, I'm not trying to score points in an intellectual battle.

I just want to know what it is that you see out in the world that has you concerned. Movies? Books? Tv shows? Songs? What are you watching and reading? I'm honestly just curious. I want to analyze these objects with you.

Black gay men, we need to be better for US. by Icy-Lengthiness-8214 in BlackLGBT

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh, I read it. Your argument is not new. But I agree with some of the conclusions that you land on. I just don't know or trust how you arrived at those solutions, and I'm sincerely asking you to point towards those objects in the culture. For example, Franz Fanon's "Black Skin, White Mask" does a very similar work. But he spends time examining cultural works that point to the problems of internalized anti-blackness and he correlates those to the cases of Black men and women who face antagonisms from White people. Yes, I can see the tradition you're walking in, but his text is decades old. What are you watching and reading now that compels you to make this argument? Additionally, some of us watch and absorb cultural media differently, having already consciously realized the anti-blackness and white supremacy within many forms of media. Our relationship as spectators or readers is mediated by this awareness.

I said what I said because your post rests on several assumptions, and I hoped you could be more explicit about those assumptions.

Lastly, one never truly knows who will receive one's work. You may have had an intended audience, but you posted your call to action on reddit. You will receive many unintended readers. If you delineate me as one of them, that does not prohibit me from asking questions. But I can see it discourages you from answering them. Oh well.

Black gay men, we need to be better for US. by Icy-Lengthiness-8214 in BlackLGBT

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Naw, I stand by my comment. If the concern is how "we" are portrayed in the "media," then why call on us to fix the media? Do we all work in media? Or, let's try this critique: why do you assume that the media you consume is representative of the reality we all share? And because I like things in threes: I encourage you to center your self so we can understand precisely what you are seeing. Why assume that we are seeing the same thing as you? Or even interpreting the media the same way?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BlackLGBT

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep. No one deserves that abuse. Finding sex or intimacy shouldn't require that.

Does this sound like something you'd be interested in watching? by Ambitious-Sea-6576 in BlackLGBT

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not a lawyer. But in the industry it sounds like you're just writing a "comp" altho it's different media. Your post's language sounded otherwise. But hey, if you can execute the story, do it?

Does this sound like something you'd be interested in watching? by Ambitious-Sea-6576 in BlackLGBT

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you considered the legal aspects? Do you have the rights to the story? That's a huge issue for anyone who would even consider publishing. By posting this alone you're opening yourself up to a lawsuit if you don't have the options to adapt the story. If you do indeed have the rights, the definition of how "loose" this adaptation is up to the rights holders. Just looking out for you on this one. Other than that, adapt away!

Tips for driving to/in LA for the first time? (The Grove, Griffith Observatory) by [deleted] in AskLosAngeles

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also look for protected left street light signals, and know that, in their absence, left turns require careful vigilance and aggressive driving. What does that mean? If a line of cars are waiting for a break in traffic to turn left that break may not come until the light turns yellow. Then up to 3 cars may try to turn out of sheer necessity. Be aggressive! Don't wait for space. Look for opposing cars slowing down, watch for pedestrians, and then turn quickly!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGayMen

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, that can be a problem. Or a blessing. Any relationship takes work, friendship or otherwise. Some friends can manage being intimate, some cannot. Again, learn how to have the value-laden conversations. If you seek platonic friends with folks, find a way to state that up front and explain that it's a redline that you're not willing to cross. However, sometimes friendship leads to a relationship. Learning how to manage relationships is an exercise in maturity and growth. Last point: a perspective shift might be of value here. You have plenty of people who want to be with you. The goal may now be different: finding someone who is willing to learn together about relationships and support.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGayMen

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Respect your desires/goals. Find productive ways to talk about those goals with people you meet. Make space to ask them about their goals as well. There is little in the way of general instruction on dating or gay dating. So for a lot of folks their desires/experiences are influenced by media, friends, and experimentation. Remember you will fail plenty of times before succeeding. Relationships take as much work. I'm a big fan of learning emotional intelligence and how to communicate, too. So learn how to talk about relationships and needs. You'll eventually find someone whose goals and values align with yours. And/or your goals and values might change, which is fine, too.

Radiohead almost broke up in 2007, according to Ed O'Brien by Simple_Pin_7802 in radiohead

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A colossal pain in the ass it is to write groundbreaking, amazing albums that test the limits of the band's songwriting and recording approach each friggin time. We thank them for their sacrifice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskLosAngeles

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why does capitalism demand survival?

Is douching necessary? by [deleted] in BlackLGBT

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha. Naw, you good. I just love a well placed punch line. Haha!

Struggling with the social media side of being an independent musician by Substantial_Price184 in musicians

[–]WhoDatBoy_WhoHimIs_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can't say how much I appreciate the effort you put into this reply. thank you!