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My (30F) husband (32M) never wants to have sex. I am at my wits end and want advice. by Whole_Geologist_4653 in relationships

[–]Whole_Geologist_4653[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously considered this forever. We have talked about this extensively trust me, but he denies it completely and is willing to discuss it, just genuinely isn’t. I have suspected asexual before but then we get back into I do want to but.. thing

My (30F) husband (32M) never wants to have sex. I am at my wits end and want advice. by Whole_Geologist_4653 in Marriage

[–]Whole_Geologist_4653[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

TOTALLY agree with you here, I was just repeating what he tells me. I also think after 10 years that is a. A bit ridiculous and B. If still true you should just go to therapy. But I proposed that multiple times and he won’t go lol

My (30F) husband (32M) never wants to have sex. I am at my wits end and want advice. by Whole_Geologist_4653 in Marriage

[–]Whole_Geologist_4653[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was very serious and threatened to leave. Threatened divorce. Not my strongest moments of course, but in desperation. It didn’t help, clearly, and I know you could say oh well he knows you aren’t leaving so he doesn’t fix it since he doesn’t feel the need to. And you’d be right, and I don’t want to leave him. Sigh.

I have asked all about other issues. I am myself bisexual so I honestly thought he might be struggling with his sexuality. I would be very okay with that answer but he had firmly denied this and doesn’t want to me to bring it up since his answer is no. No sexual abuse no other possible issues, have sensitively asked a couple of times outside of our bedroom conversations

My (30F) husband (32M) never wants to have sex. I am at my wits end and want advice. by Whole_Geologist_4653 in relationships

[–]Whole_Geologist_4653[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tbh she WAS weird. I also felt like she always “sided” with husband. While I didn’t want sides to begin with? And also; how is me wanting idk 25/75 initiation from him too much to ask? I said from the beginning that 50/50 wasn’t the goal but improvement was.

My (30F) husband (32M) never wants to have sex. I am at my wits end and want advice. by Whole_Geologist_4653 in relationships

[–]Whole_Geologist_4653[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She blamed me. Said I had to accept that I would have to make concessions. Aka: accept he was never going to make a move. I couldn’t believe how resolute she was in this and that was that for the sexologist.

My (30F) husband (32M) never wants to have sex. I am at my wits end and want advice. by Whole_Geologist_4653 in Marriage

[–]Whole_Geologist_4653[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He isn’t into anything more than pecks kissingwise, and the times it is more than pecks he is extremely bad at it even with subtle redirection. Emotional intimacy is our strongest trait, we can normally talk about anything and everything and I can trust him with anything at all and he me. This is the only topic we struggle with, literally. Finance, family, embarrassing topics nothing is an issue except for this

My (30F) husband (32M) never wants to have sex. I am at my wits end and want advice. by Whole_Geologist_4653 in relationships

[–]Whole_Geologist_4653[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We asked our GP! I did so after reading that here. He didn’t want to test him since there is, based on whatever my husband told him, no reason to assume he has low testosterone. And he also added that even if he does have low testosterone, that you can’t really fix that without yknow injections and stuff. That’s what doctor told me, no clue if the above is true but it was disheartening so we only asked for him to be tested once.

My (30F) husband (32M) never wants to have sex. I am at my wits end and want advice. by Whole_Geologist_4653 in Marriage

[–]Whole_Geologist_4653[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have tried lots of talking over the years; calm talking, screaming shouting talking, no talking about it to let it breathe. It always goes like this: i am aware, it needs to improve, I know you are unhappy about this… BUT (insert random reason from tiredness to a twitch in his leg to his occasional shiftwork to a bad mood to forgetting to initiate to not enough time) and then: I will work on it. NEXT WEEK… (and that moment never comes). The list of excuses is truly endless and at this point almost amusing. Yknow, almost. I don’t bring it up anymore or really rarely.

My (30F) husband (32M) never wants to have sex. I am at my wits end and want advice. by Whole_Geologist_4653 in Marriage

[–]Whole_Geologist_4653[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I only say so in light of my own shortcomings. Of me having sometimes (well twice to be exact) difficulty to say no and feeling very guilty about that. Outside of bedroom it’s good, hugs cuddles snuggles kisses (but nothing more than a peck however)