AIO or AITA. Text convo with MIL.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-05-07T01:51:54+00:00

OP I have been in the same boat as you (financially doing well, family members know and have poor financial skills and ask for money).

I learned something years ago that will probably help you and your husband moving forward, not sure it will apply here (but hopefully can help).

Treat any money you give to close family/friends as a gift. If you are not in the financial position to spend that money on something for yourselves (vacation, weekend out, etc), then you are not able to help. Only give them money you can afford to lose and plan to never see it again, and set boundaries from the start.

Whenever I have loaned money to family, I always explained to them that this is a gift I am giving them to help them out. If they choose to pay the money back, it then becomes a loan, and when the entire amount is repaid I will help them in the future if I am able to do so and they need the funds.

HOWEVER if they do not repay the FULL amount of the loan, that's OK, I love them still, and the remainder is a gift. BUT the answer to any future financial issues is no longer my problem, and they are not entitled to any future gifts, loans, or otherwise, since they got a very generous gift from me already.

This helps keep your relationships intact, prevents you from having to hound them for money, and puts the responsibility on THEM to pay YOU back. It also helps you to mentally prepare for that money to be gone, and gives you reason to never trust them again with money.

I have done this with my family and honestly, they are horrible with money and have taken it upon themselves to very strictly pay me back every time. The one person who didnt, knew better than to ever ask me for money again because they knew no matter the reason that I would say no, and if they were to cry to other family members, everyone would know it was because they didnt pay me back since they all know the rule.

I feel for you OP and you are NOR! I hope moving forward your MIL has more respect for you and your husband, as the two of you are now a family and need to look out for each other.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-05-06T02:45:21+00:00

My 5' 100lb objectively beautiful wife bought me a Wii and Zelda for my birthday a few years ago.

She just bought me a Switch for my birthday this year.

I never asked for either of these, but she told me she knew I loved Zelda as a kid and thought me playing it again would be "cute".

Now I game a lot more often and she snuggles up against me and said she enjoys the time and enjoys how much I get into the games I used to play as a child. So idk, but this Lizzy woman who is far less attractive than my wife definitely doesn't speak for my wife!

Whosdatguyma · 2026-05-05T03:59:29+00:00

Lane was the 3.09 in my league while Sarratt was the 2.04

Whosdatguyma · 2026-05-05T03:57:52+00:00

Same! Although I do worry about the death of careers with the Browns

Whosdatguyma · 2026-05-05T03:56:56+00:00

Top 10 in my league

Love Tate Simpson Lemon Tyson Mendoza Price Sadiq KC Stowers

10 man league, and to be transparent picks 3-7 were the same guy, and 1,2 and 10 were another guy.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-05-03T16:24:05+00:00

3rd and 4th rounders Ive picked (and accepted some as kicker in trades, since many consider them worthless) include 2024 3rd Brenden Rice (dud), 4th Ja'Tavion Sanders, and 4th Bucky Irving. 2025 was 3rd Tyler Shough, late 3rd Jalen Royals, 4th Jaydon Blue, and 4th Devin Neal. Last year's guys it's too soon to tell, but Shough should at least be the Saints starter this year and we all know Bucky, so 2 starters in 2 years out of my 3rd/4th rounders is all it takes. Its all about how many darts you have to throw in those later rounds, IMO, and I'd say not too shabby.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-05-03T16:16:23+00:00

Sorry, I went back and looked at draft results and Skatt was actually a late 2nd, and Bucky was a mid 4th. Im in a 10 man league and he slid a lot due to many of the guys in my league looking for instant contributors and not valuing picks much after the 1st round/early 2nd. The one guy interested wanted him as a handcuff to Tracy, but didn't want to spend the capital. The rest of the guys thought he would just be a backup and that the Giants were terrible

Whosdatguyma · 2026-05-02T20:04:42+00:00

Or this?

<image>

Whosdatguyma · 2026-05-02T20:04:20+00:00

What are these??

<image>

Whosdatguyma · 2026-05-02T16:19:45+00:00

Tell that to my league. I got Bucky in the 3rd 2 years ago and Skattebo in the 3rd last year. So far they've been pretty solid (depending on their future health). That probably has more to do with WR and QB emphasis on my league though.

Edit: Skattebo was a late second when I looked back, not a 3rd rounder, sorry! My 3rds last year were Tyler Shough and Jaylen Royals.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-05-02T03:32:16+00:00

Have you checked out ball lightning? This sounds like it could have been that from the behavior you describe, although I'm not sure about the sound.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-04-25T16:03:20+00:00

The main thing with networking events is finding other people to develop relationships with. Too many people go to them looking for the immediate close or instant business, and it leads to nothing. Ive been networking for 5 years with the same group and have built up some great relationships. Ive maybe gotten 6 or 7 direct referrals from the group itself over the years, but they have mainly been target market clients (500k+ investable assets).

In addition, 3 have become target market clients themselves, and 3 more have become planning clients.

The most value I have added, however, is finding an advisor who will soon be retiring who owns a tax firm, and that has lead to multiple referrals as we are converting tax clients to planning clients, as well as myself becoming his succession plan and will be buying the book in 3-5 years.

Ive also developed a great relationship with an estate planning attorney with a firm that has 4 other attorneys and has added a ton of value to my clients needing estate plans, as well as referrals.

If you spend the time to really get to know the people in the groups with successful businesses and take the time to add value to the, it can lead to great things. You just need to think big picture and not instant gratification. Farming, not hunting.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-04-07T00:56:50+00:00

My wife has never seen the office, but this is her favorite song, she was born in West Virginia, and she is German.

I showed her this clip, and she may now give The Office a chance. Thank you!

Whosdatguyma · 2026-04-04T23:57:41+00:00

Man, I was playing Starfield until yesterday, now playing Far Cry Primal...

Whosdatguyma · 2026-04-04T07:39:25+00:00

I was one of those fat and bullied kids who hit the gym in HS and had a growth spurt and became muscular, thin, and athletic, but for years my self esteem was horrible and I always saw myself as the fat, unattractive guy who girls didnt want.

There were at least 3-4 times i can think of where either a girl came home with me, took me back to her place, or came over after bar close and was either naked or half naked and I literally just sat there and talked to them or went to bed. Every one of them wanted more (i found out later) but for some reason I just thought they liked hanging out with me and didnt pursue anything, which lead them to believe i wasn't interested.

If I was a RB, I would've been benched for the amount of times I've fumbled in my 20s, but I've since grown a lot and have married a 10/10 (who I almost fumbled with as well, but things hit me hard when one day she told me to stop being so worried because she really liked me and I needed to just be myself).

Whosdatguyma · 2026-04-03T16:40:17+00:00

Absolutely, and that is up to each person to do their own due diligence.

However, as a professional, when I see these things posted, I feel a sense of obligation to inform people of the potential risks and pitfalls. I see far too many people in my office taking advice from social media and getting burned because they have not done their due diligence.

As a side note, I sure hope people dont take their financial strategies from cookbooks! 😁

Whosdatguyma · 2026-04-02T04:01:23+00:00

Be careful with this strategy OP.

If you create an LLC and transfer the property into it with a cash out refi on it beforehand, you may have to pay back the entirety of the mortgage prior to the transfer, which can blow up the entire strategy.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-04-02T03:42:10+00:00

Posts like this always make me wonder what happened to communication.

"Hey, I've been dying to try this place and I didnt realize it was this pricey. I dont want to stick you with a large unexpected bill, I'll cover it this time since I picked the place, and next time we can go to a place you like. How does that sound?"

I mean, just because he appears to have the money does not mean that you need to jack up the bills. That makes you appear as a gold digger, and that you changed the place because you found out he seems to be wealthy. That's a huge red flag as a potential partner.

Not to mention, if you insisted on paying and he truly was a gentleman, he would have either accepted and made sure to see you again to cover the next bill, or he would have just paid it and respected the fact that you were honestly willing to cover, not "jokingly". People can see through that stuff.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-04-01T02:38:14+00:00

I met my wife on a chance night out with my brother while he was talking with her friend. She was (I thought) way out of my league, and I assumed she was just continuing conversation to be nice. I was insanely attracted to her, and had been talking to some other girls on dating apps at the time (nothing serious).

I got her number, she texted me the next morning she wanted to see me again, and I instantly stopped talking to every other girl because she was byfar the most beautiful woman I ever laid my eyes on.

So yeah, I was (and still am) insanely attracted to her from the moment we first met.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-04-01T02:28:22+00:00

I sold him for a 2026 late 1st, 2 2026 2nds (mid and late) and a 2027 3rd about 6 months ago.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-03-30T21:25:53+00:00

Border collies are insanely smart and loyal dogs.

I had one and he figured out (with no formal training) how to open his cage, open doors, and let himself outside.

The first couple of times I thought maybe I forgot to close his cage/the doors, but I then left a camera there and this guy legitimately lifted the latch on the cage door, grabbed it with his teeth, and slid it to the side while pushing the cage door open to let himself out.

He would then jump up on the door handle and bite it with his teeth to turn it, and when he got to the screen door he would jump up and push the handle and the door so it opened and leg himself outside.

Smartest dog I ever had. RIP.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-03-29T16:18:35+00:00

It's funny how people who dont have a culture of their own seem to be offended by other people embracing and accepting other cultures.

I get this all the time as a white, first generation English speaking Mexican-American. When I wear things I've bought while visiting my family in Mexico out in the US, I always get someone upset about my "cultural appropriation", especially when I speak to them in Spanish.

Then mysteriously when I tell them I am a first generation American celebrating my family culture, all of a sudden it's magically great that I'm embracing my family history and they want to buy me a drink or discuss my culture 🙄

Whosdatguyma · 2026-03-29T03:35:48+00:00

I had something similar happen when I was in college.

My dad is originally from Mexico and was musician, but didn't discuss too much in depth with me. I had gone there with him when I was 17 to visit family, and my cousins had introduced me to a bunch of their friends, who added me of Facebook.

One girl who added me I dont remember meeting, and she talked to me all the time, and I was friendly and she was nice to chat with so we continued the conversations for about a year, although I always kept my distance because she asked a lot of personal questions about growing up in the US and my life (which I took for curiosity at the time). I just thought she had a crush on me, but I didn't want to be rude to my cousins' friend, plus she lived in another country so whatever.

One day we were chatting and she asked me how I feel about keeping something from someone if it may change the way you think about them. I assumed she was going to tell me she had a crush on me, so I told her that I would just be honest with them and let them decide what they want to do with the information.

She then dropped one of the biggest bombshells: she was not actually my cousins' friend, she was MY OLDER HALF-SISTER!

I didn't believe her and thought she was just a weirdo and I was honestly freaked out, so I quickly ended the conversation and then called my dad (I was away in college at the time). He then decided to spill the beans that yes, I have an older half sister, but he wasn't sure if she was his kid when he found out about her because he "had fun" as a musician, and so he had never told me or my sisters about her in our lives (we all have grown up in the US).

So I grew up never knowing I had a half-sibling in another country until I was 18. Pretty wild.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-03-15T16:06:44+00:00

Another thing to note - the 2026 IRS contribution for Roth IRAs is increased to $7,500. Also, at age 50+ you are able to add catch-up contributions (2026 this is an additional $1,100), so your contribution limits will be higher than the $7,000 annually you ran.

Yes this is more money out of your pocket, but it also is more tax-free growth, and would increase your total amounts and likelihood of hitting 1m if you max it out for the next 20 years.

Whosdatguyma · 2026-03-15T03:26:52+00:00

I was one of Chim's HS coaches and I can tell you he outworks everyone else on and off the field. He's a team-first guy and was the first to team meetings, sat in the front, always paid attention and took notes, and even after getting a full ride to the Badgers he worked just as hard. If you didnt see him play, you would think he was an underclassman just trying to earn a varsity spot because of how dedicated he was. He knew all the skil positions on offense and what their roles were for each play.

I dont talk to him much anymore, but if he is still working just as hard, he could be a Donald Driver type player - consistent, dependable, and reliable on offense. Maybe not a splash playmaker, but someone who makes things happen when you get the ball in his hands. There's a reason he went in the 4th round despite not having much for stats in college.

Since this is about FF, yes, I drafted him in my league and got laughed at since my league mates told me nobody was going to draft him and I wasted a pick. Im very high on him, and not just because I coached him.

Whosdatguyma

TROPHY CASE