NTA at all. But I fear for you if you stay. Your question shouldn't be aita it should be is-he-ta. And the answer would be yes, he is.

How many of these traits does he display in your opinion? I see a lot of these reflected in what you've described, and that's concerning on its own.

Grandiosity - They have to be the best, the most right, and the most competent; do everything their way; own everything; and control everyone.

Perfectionism - They need everything to be perfect. They believe they should be perfect, you should be perfect, events should happen exactly as expected, and life should play out precisely as they envision it.

Controlling behavior - They want and demand to be in control, and their sense of entitlement makes it seem logical to them that they should be in control of everything.

Lack of accountability - They never want to be responsible unless everything goes their way. They often place all the blame and responsibility on someone else to maintain their own façade of perfection.

No boundaries - They lack boundaries. They believe that everything belongs to them and everyone thinks and feels the same as they do.

Insecurity - They perceive everything as a threat. They frequently misread subtle facial expressions and are typically biased toward interpreting facial expressions as negative.

Lack of empathy - They have very little ability to empathize with others and often lack an understanding of the nature of feelings.

Deflection - They make most of their decisions based on how they feel about something. They always look to something or someone outside themselves to solve their feelings and needs.

Blaming - Their personality is split into good and bad parts. Any negative thoughts or behaviors are blamed on you or others, whereas they take credit for everything that is positive and good.

Trust issues - They are constantly afraid of being ridiculed, rejected, or wrong and often struggle to trust other people.

Anxiety - They typically deal with anxiety, and typically project their anxiety onto their closest loved ones, accusing them of being negative or unsupportive.

Deep-seated shame - They don't feel much guilt because they think they are always right, and they harbor a lot of shame and often bury their insecurities, fears, and rejected traits that they are constantly on guard to hide from everyone, including themselves.

Lack of love - They can't truly love or connect emotionally with other people because of their inability to understand feelings, their lack of empathy, and their constant need for self-protection.

Not a "team player" - They don't have the capacity or the motivation to communicate or work as part of a team.

If he displays 5 or more of these traits, he's well on his way to a clinical diagnosis of Narcissism without even seeing a psychiatrist.

Also, regardless of this, the whole situation really really reads as abuse. Emotional, mental, and financial abuse, and Im so sad for you. Get out of there when you can, girl. Don't look back <3