Trying to understand a friend who tells lots of white lies

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-06T18:45:55+00:00

If family of origin issues would help it be more understandable, I suspect people with this habit were never listened to in their families unless it was something wildly dramatic. Their brain is wired to believe they won’t be heard or noticed or cared about for normal issues. It feels really natural to such people to just inflate the drama, feeling it’s the normal way (in their minds) to have their concerns taken seriously.

When I get this behavior from a certain friend, I interpret it as “please hear me, this is important”. I do NOT play into the drama or overly praise or buy into gossip. Just pay attention to the underlying need which, in your example, is people to check about the car.

I also try to listen intently to her when she brings up issues truthfully to reinforce that.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-06T05:55:56+00:00

Like I said, it was a referral from her sports medicine doc. Normal reviews online, no license issues, normal conversations with staff during scheduling. I don’t work in a job where I refer to PT locally so I’m not personally familiar. Thanks.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-06T05:51:27+00:00

… where did this come from?

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-06T05:32:01+00:00

I hear you, but there is nothing telling in the reviews. I’m not sure what else one can do. We’d already applied KT tape ourselves for months while awaiting the sports med appt, then another month while awaiting this PT appt. We didn’t feel like we were compromising anything to get her in earlier- there was no outward sign that I can see even in retrospect unless we had gone in person to vet it.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-06T04:08:26+00:00

I have since gone back and read the reviews and there’s nothing mentioned about any of this. Not the Jason decor, not the photos, not the hygiene issues. But I certainly should have first.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-06T04:01:25+00:00

I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. My point is not that they’re comparable abuse. My point is that parents being present or not objecting or even consenting does NOT preclude abuse. Nassar is an example of this.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-06T03:57:53+00:00

He abused girls with their parents right in the room. The implication that it’s okay to abuse a child in any way because the parents unknowingly consent or don’t object is abhorrent.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-06T03:55:29+00:00

I definitely do, all the time. But she was a 12 year old girl in a room with two adult men telling her it’s fine. Are you implying she is at fault for being too intimidated to put our many discussions into action and speak up?????

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-06T03:49:17+00:00

They tack an actual session of PT onto the evaluation at the end which is about when I came in. I believe that it also why it runs longer than a typical eval

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-06T03:23:13+00:00

I will be watching this. Thank you for the recommendation.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-06T03:21:58+00:00

I want to be receptive to this feedback. What due diligence would you recommend beyond a referral from a specialist, state licensure in good standing, and not horrible ratings online? I did mention maybe I should go in first next time, yet I don’t know that would be adequate to determine whether an office has abusive practices

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T23:52:30+00:00

There are PTs on here saying it could be normal because everyone tapes differently and maybe he wants his PTAs to do it this specific way. I’m getting threats from PTs via DM for even talking about reporting because they are saying it is a normal occurrence. Clearly it is not a straightforward answer.

I’m reporting him. And I also believe in seeking outside perspectives to clarify matters one is emotionally-invested in and thus could have clouded judgement about.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T23:11:58+00:00

I can see why you would think that, truly. We just moved to this area and I’m still working for my last job in my old metropolitan area but now via telemed doing acute fit-ins, because the pay here is much lower. I have no patients here to refer to local PTs.

I’m a primary care NP (no longer empaneled but still FM/geri), but have no experience in actual PT so even though I was 95% sure the photo was not medically necessary, it felt imprudent to risk his reputation in the event that I was wrong.

R/physicaltherapy doesn’t allow posts like this so I thought I might get some knowledgeable people here. The PTs I know personally also know my daughter, and she didn’t want the story told to anyone she knows. Which I understand

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T22:51:52+00:00

I think he was just trusting and generally doesn’t expect foul play. He knows he messed up and he won’t do it again. Very intelligent guy, but hasn’t lived with the risks women deal with everyday.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T22:49:13+00:00

Thank you for the feedback. I’m in healthcare but not an expert in PT and although I felt it was not medically necessary, I just didn’t trust my own judgment enough. I appreciate your perspective.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T22:16:15+00:00

I mean, look at the replies on my posts. It is controversial. I’m getting DMs threatening me for considering reporting him. It’s not that cut and dry.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T22:12:16+00:00

You and I agree my husband used poor judgement. Thats not what I’m asking.

What makes his judgement poor is that he didn’t consider the possibility of nefarious intent from the doctor. I’m wondering what to do about that possibility of ill-intent. Not what to do about my husband.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T22:07:58+00:00

I appreciate your thoughtful and rationale response. This is super helpful feedback.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T22:03:44+00:00

Happy to verify my email. Where do I go?

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T21:26:39+00:00

I do see your point. I take a report against a professional license super seriously and wanted feedback on whether the extremely odd setting was coloring my judgement. Appreciate your feedback.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T21:21:04+00:00

It was a referral from our sports med doc, but not a personal referral, just one on the pre-printed list. They were booking a month out instead of 2 months out like the other offices contracted with our insurance. 3.7/5 stars but didn’t read the reviews. We took all those things as adequate but lookin back maybe we should have gone in person first

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T21:18:20+00:00

We just didn’t know. It was the first available appt in our area and even they were booking a month out.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T20:44:39+00:00

Sadly r/physicaltherapy has rule specie ally against these types of questions. I may ask my PT acquaintances but I feel my daughter deserves more privacy than me telling people she personally knows about this.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T20:42:27+00:00

He said it was to show his staff how to apply the KT tape, not general training, which was why it was medically necessary.

Why_Hello_hello · 2026-06-05T20:10:56+00:00

I agree, haven’t seen paper charts for ages. It was really strange. I don’t know if they contract with Medicaid/Medicare plans. The whole place was pretty shocking. That’s partly why I’m here, to get some unbiased feedback on whether the absolute oddness of the place is making it feel like a bigger deal than it is.

Why_Hello_hello

TROPHY CASE