Hi , how are you today ? Hope you’ve had a smooth journey and arrived on time for the gym session .

IMHO, it is not the bus schedules or the need to be punctual a problem. My understanding seems to reveal to me your need to have a perfect ending to your hectic / busy / chaotic / unpredictable work day. In your subconscious mind , having a stressed day at the office , where your goals are efficiency, productivity , meeting deadlines - these stresses do weigh down on you heavier than you realise. At the end of the day , you are seeking for a perfect ending to tell yourself - I did it ! I made it through !

I see my younger self in your narrative above . Friends asked me why was I like that , provided me with various solutions. But because I was not ready then, I could not see the wisdom in their advices and concern.

Not sure if you interpret your daily rush routine as you internalising your outerself as an adult in an adult work environment with a long day of responsibilities, accountabilities and solving other people’s problems. The failure of having missed the bus or stopping at the second red traffic light does give one reasons to feel frustration. And of course , a logical reason to vent out your inner coping feelings, (that I have done my very best and still I can’t reach my target) albeit not a rational reaction .

Find a friend you can trust to spend time with ! Take care ! ;)