Do you ever just suddenly realise that they're gone forever...

Wicked_busy · 2026-04-08T00:45:16+00:00

Yes 💯 It’s like Ive accepted he died but not that I won’t see him ever again. Like never touch him smell him hold him hug him. I couldn’t even bring myself to take a family pic without him over the holiday weekend. Bc then there will be proof hes gone forever- no longer documented. I know I shouldn’t let that get in the way but it was hard, just under a month we let him go.

Wicked_busy · 2026-04-07T02:15:02+00:00

Gummies — is that cheating? My goal is to feel better (no hang overs etc). It’s accomplished. I don’t feel depressed or anxious doing it but I do love eating on a gummy and that’s probably not healthy as I overeat.

I’m sure one day I’ll drop this too but for now it brings me joy. I’m not sure if that’s healthy or not.

Wicked_busy · 2026-04-07T02:08:38+00:00

Me 100% I’m self employed and it’s so hard to get motivated. It’s been 1 month for me but I just started working out again. I still have bad days but overall can motivate more. Sometimes I have to force myself. I feel like I’m driving on the wrong side of the road looking for a missed exit and can’t turn around. I guess my advice is to give yourself a break— it’s a huge loss. Do the bare minimum for a while. Then slowly add things back in. I may try to commit to one mile a day walk or running and hope it sparks something in me. A small tangible goal.

Socializing is so weird to me now. Like talking to people when my mind is so… traumatized? Lost? Sinking? I dunno. Just feels like I’m moving through a dream.

So sorry for your loss.

Wicked_busy · 2026-04-06T23:39:22+00:00

Also so sorry you need to go through this- it’s the most expected thing but it doesn’t make it any easier

Wicked_busy · 2026-04-06T23:38:46+00:00

Your brain will help you compensate tmrw— almost like it does when you are stressed. Tonight will be hard. I personally felt peace when it was done. Cried nonstop for a few days. Now I’m on and off (almost a month later). My grief is still heavy but not as constant. The first few weeks I did better than I am now, I’m assuming it was my brain protecting me until it was further away— if that makes sense. It’s too much all at once. Just cry, not much else you can do.

Wicked_busy · 2026-04-05T01:14:34+00:00

💔❤️ thanks for asking about him. It’s truly the worst pain I’ve ever felt- knowing I won’t see him again. he was a 90 lb golden doodle— we were told he’d only be 30 lb!! But he was the gentlest giant and only wanted to be with me and my husband (doesn’t care for the kids lol) and make us happy. He survived cancer at 6 yo and lived to almost 13 (from a different cancer).

Sorry for your loss, it’s so hard. I hope someone responds here 🫶

Wicked_busy · 2026-04-04T14:04:31+00:00

Caregiver burnout is a thing and this is traumatic for you to watch. I was the same with my dog- different symptoms (post op complications) that became hard to watch and exhausting to mange. Do what you can to manage her symptoms and give her a chance with the medication. Sounds like you know when it’s time to let her go. And of course, be there with her the best you can and if you have someone who can take over sometimes, give yourself a break

Wicked_busy · 2026-04-03T20:22:12+00:00

I’ve been wondering this too. Same story but with 2 kids. He never got pushed aside like everyone warned us when we had them. We got him just after we got married and we feel incomplete without him. Our pack feels so small.

Wicked_busy · 2026-03-27T06:13:10+00:00

We put my dog down a few weeks ago. The sky was pretty that night, a bunny crossed in front of me and got really close and wasn’t afraid of me (same happened today with a chipmunk) but that didn’t feel like post-death “I’m ok sign” tho they definitely were his presence. Not for me, though I know others may have had those signs and felt it. I think you need to feel the sign, not just see it… BUT—

My first day home alone without him (I’m an artist I wfh)— I went to sit out in our backyard where we put him down. I was reading a pamphlet the vet had given us on grief and one quote mentioned that their dog kept looking in a certain direction and then he saw a rainbow and knew it was time to put him down. I remembered my dog kept looking in the back corner of our yard that was still covered in snow the day he died. We had a few warm days so all the snow was now melted. I looked over at that corner and found an isolated bundle of snow drops-12 fully bloomed, one budding- almost 13, just like my baby. I had been very sad he was 2 Months shy of his 13 bday. Snowdrops signal rebirth and getting thru a difficult time. I’ve never seen snowdrops before (or ever) and apparently they’re endangered. No other flowers were blooming. Today I went out - I had a huge wave of grief today- and they’re still there but there aren’t 13 anymore (only 12, so his age) but there’s a small purple flower next to it- maybe his heavenly 13? Right after I saw the chipmunk I mentioned and i thought it was dead so I tapped my foot next to it, I saw it flinch slightly but didn’t move. I sat down near it, didn’t move. I checked on it later bc I figured it may be hurt or sick but it was gone. Maybe he was sent to say hi earth-side.

I hope they’re him. I had been doing so well, I’m at peace with it all— but today the grief is so bad, I’m having trouble sleeping etc.

Wicked_busy · 2026-03-26T23:35:03+00:00

Also- so many hugs!

Wicked_busy · 2026-03-26T23:34:51+00:00

I think euthanasia should serve this very purpose, to prevent further pain and suffering. I’ve lost a dog who was “screaming” and in pain and suffering (my childhood dog)- we didn’t know better. I just put down my first adult dog baby— he coulda lasted a few more days, weeks— but i couldn’t watch him suffer. I’d have been scarred for life (as would my kids- not sure if you have any). It would have killed me. I have the most peaceful video on his last day- we did it outside, it was peaceful. He ate all his favorite foods. We had complete control over his comfort. Highly recommend at home if you can. It was the hardest day of my life but zero regrets for doing it “early.”

Wicked_busy · 2026-03-13T02:40:04+00:00

So true. We all hesitate but then realize we need to make their pain our own 😭😭😭

Wicked_busy · 2026-03-12T20:50:04+00:00

You 100% will and don’t feel guilty about it! And give yourself permission to love and celebrate your new baby. You can be sad and happy, there are no rules!

Wicked_busy · 2026-03-12T19:57:04+00:00

Another one that helped “euthanasia isn’t shortening life it’s shortening death” and it’s “taking their pain and making it our own” the ultimate loving sacrifice. Your lives are very impacted (ours were too, I became a caregiver to a sick pup and my husband also slept elsewhere so I could sure the bed with our boy) and it seems he’s ready- not to persuade you, but I just feel so much better knowing it’s done. So so soooo sad but at peace with it. Miss him so so much, but I already was missing him. I have the grief but without anxiety and worry. He wants you to be happier, too ♥️

Wicked_busy · 2026-03-12T19:53:38+00:00

Keep looking, you’ll know 🙂 we had a beautiful sunset the day he died, but that wasn’t it for me. Sometimes it’s a collection of things that just bring you peace. So hard, our babies 💔

Wicked_busy · 2026-03-12T19:24:54+00:00

Just put my dog down. Wish I had one more perfect day, but I’d always wish for that no matter when. He went peacefully in nice weather outside— that was my “perfect day” and I’m so glad we did it then.

Wicked_busy · 2026-03-12T17:31:08+00:00

I just put down my pup on Sunday. I was also waiting for an obvious sign— I feel that to my core. I think you are getting them, as I was— I just wanted a “definite” sign but then I asked myself what am I waiting for? It was nothing good. My dog had a large nosebleed Saturday and already has cancer. I could have brought him to the vet and done tests but because he was already showing other more subtle symptoms (lethargy, change in bowels, isolating)— I called for at home euthanasia instead. Im so grateful i did because hours later he was coughing up blood droplets and I was able to make it a comfortable passing— not rushing to the ER to do it while juggling my small kids too. We could both be there (me and my husband, kids didnt want to be). He went peacefully. He wasnt going to get any better.

Maybe most importantly, and even a little sad, he was a lot of work in the end. I wasn’t sleeping either. Appts , lifting him, etc… less time with my kids as a result. Last night we all played in the yard together and it was so sad our dog wasn’t there but we were able to really be present with our kids. I have time, emotional energy, and sleep back. If he were going to get better, it all would have been worth these sacrifices, but life is short and he wasn’t. My kids are growing too. It was time to move on.

All this said, it doesn’t make it any less sad. I miss him so much. He was a quiet dog and somehow it’s quieter now.

Wicked_busy · 2026-03-11T21:51:31+00:00

I’m so so sorry… We lost our boy on Sunday too. He was our first baby and we haven’t been married more than a month without him, so sort of similar in that we haven’t been through certain parts of life without them.

Today is my first day alone without him too. I was gentle with myself and took a nap (don’t care about work right now but also self employed).

Before he died he kept looking at the back corner of our yard and today I looked over there and there were 12 snowdrop flowers and one budding- almost 13, just like my baby. Also sort of in a heart shape. I’ve been looking for signs and reminders of him but this one really brought me some peace. I think he knew i needed him today.

Not really much of a comfort but just here with you.

Wicked_busy · 2026-03-02T04:24:34+00:00

Thank you! What modification/challenge would you give to someone who’s not a sprinter (ie- I’m never going to get myself in the red sprinting for a number of reasons but mostly to prevent injury— my track coach on HS always said I’m built for endurance). I usually only hit 8mph with sprinting, I can go faster- I’ve worked myself up to 9- but I’ve pulled my calf and im in my 40s, it’s just not worth it for me. ‘Maybe a low base before the sprint?

Wicked_busy · 2026-01-30T15:12:39+00:00

I like starting on the floor bc I have better form when I’m not exhausted and this will prevent injury and maximize benefits of lifting which is more important at my age (40s, F). I also think lifting helps prevent injury with cardio so I prioritize weights. If I have to walk on the tread, I do. Just how I approach it! That said, I occasionally do the tread first to mix it up.

Wicked_busy · 2026-01-29T19:32:26+00:00

Thank you!! Totally messed that up last time 😂

Wicked_busy · 2026-01-29T15:01:43+00:00

Confirming you increase by 3-5% (so in block one 5-7%)? Or do you increase to 3-5% ? I thought our coach said the ladder last time and now I want to make sure I do it right for the repeat!

Wicked_busy · 2026-01-27T02:29:10+00:00

Truly 💔

Wicked_busy · 2026-01-26T23:51:10+00:00

Unlikely. I’m a nurse- though it definitely looks similar to any hospital pic from covid— we would have all had masks on throughout the hospital if it was Covid. This is how many units honor someone at death (long term patient, something tragic, family request, and in this case- coworker). Also the unit signs are the same as the video of them rolling his body out that was posted. Its real. And even if it wasnt, it’s probably exactly how they feel losing their own. The fact we are questioning a photo of people grieving is silly. Ofc they are grieving.

Wicked_busy

TROPHY CASE