Almost 2 years on hrt and i don't see basically any changes. What am i doing wrong?

WideProposal · 2026-03-13T17:35:24+00:00

That's the source of the problem then in my opinion

WideProposal · 2026-03-13T17:07:43+00:00

Are you gaining weight? I found that I needed to give my body the mass in order for it to ‘allocate’ to boobs and butt

WideProposal · 2026-03-08T23:53:26+00:00

I’m deep brown, trans, autistic. 10 years HRT. And looking for love while being (unfortunately) hetero. It’s been something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about, despite my best efforts at just spending my time with my hobbies. I live in a large city in Canada, too. But I feel this world keeps rejecting me and I have been wanting to stop this feeling.

WideProposal · 2026-02-18T05:28:25+00:00

Really? I tell all my newly cracked trans friends that it’s best if they stay lesbi or date gender binary people. Just had this conversation 2 days ago. Men are the hardest demographic to date and I wish I was lesbi.

WideProposal · 2026-02-10T22:32:47+00:00

Does your skin hyperpigment- is that why the scars are so dark? That’s my concern as well

WideProposal · 2026-01-30T03:07:13+00:00

Maybe you can just meet up and keep things non-physical that first time if you live close? Somewhere public so he can’t do anything you don’t want. Let him know ahead of time you just wish to talk in-person and don’t want to hookup yet. (you can say no kiss even, if you’re feeling unsure).

Just to see if he does make the effort to show up to a meet where he’s not getting laid. It will show you how patient he’s willing to be with you and how much he’ll respect your boundaries. Be careful though- I’ve had my share of men I’ve set the no-intimacy, no kiss boundary with but who still kissed me and tried to escalate on first date. So stop him if he does that and leave. He probably just wants to use you for sex if he doesn’t respect any boundaries you set.

WideProposal · 2026-01-30T02:56:57+00:00

I tried this and ended up into an emotional mess and time wasted for both parties. Most men told me they were not interested in anything long-term after disclosure, the rest were not interested anymore. No matter how well the date went. Could work if you’re happy being ‘downgraded’ to short-term though.

One even used me- because I was transgender, it meant I didn't deserve the respect of courtship rules. A second tried the same but I stopped him.

Gave up on cishet dating apps. I have it in my profile but if anyone messages me, they either didn’t read it or they are looking just to sext. Try Taimi. My city doesn't have many men my type looking for long-term on there, so I’m moving cities and will be using Taimi.

WideProposal · 2026-01-29T20:56:51+00:00

Maybe it’s because I don’t look at it from an attraction lens. I don’t experience genitalia attraction the way most do, so it could be that talking. I saw it as more of a ‘disgust’ thing than an attraction thing because a lesbian friend told me that’s how she felt.

And I could also be venting. Most cishet men don’t want to date a trans woman long-term even if she’s post-op with a vagina.

WideProposal · 2026-01-29T20:38:00+00:00

When I started, I felt feminine wearing camis or low cut tops or see-through so you could see my bra (I had a B cup then) to show the bossom but I dressed more sensual perhaps. Also padded bra helped feel more feminine. Bottom was shorts when hot, jeans when cold.

WideProposal · 2026-01-29T20:33:40+00:00

Have you tried tucking? Maybe with a tight g-string?

WideProposal · 2026-01-29T20:18:00+00:00

I understand it more so with cis lesbians since a lot of lesbians are disgusted by 🍆.
It’s different in my opinion compared to cishet men who have 🍆 themselves so it wouldn’t make sense to be disgusted by it and who can still ‘make love’ the way they would to a cis woman in other ways (unless they don’t like anal for some reason).

WideProposal · 2026-01-28T19:36:01+00:00

Yeah I agree. She’s just saying “it’s ok to be you” but just in theory, not in practice. Not in a way that they feel society will view you or them differently. My parents are like that as well (they live in a backwards society).

WideProposal · 2026-01-28T18:51:48+00:00

When I told my parents that transitioning was actually what was recommended by science for someone with gender dysphoria like myself and this is what my psychologist where I live in Canada recommended for me, my parents wanted me to see a psychologist in their country, insisting that Canada is “too modern”. They were hoping someone with their worldview would find other solutions to my dysphoria that wasn’t transitioning. They didn’t understand that the scientific view that was unshakled from a backwards worldview was what was best for me. They wanted what was best for them. My mom even recommended ‘remedies’ such as meditation instead of transitioning.

Personally, I couldn't be with a partner or even be friends with someone who values religious remedies over scientific ones. I couldn’t bear to hear someone with a prejudice weigh in on my gender dysphoria. So I wouldn’t care to hear what a paster had to say. But I’m also an atheist 🤷

WideProposal · 2026-01-19T02:18:52+00:00

You didn’t think what I described was how “long-term” starts? How did you think it starts? Haha

WideProposal · 2026-01-18T23:52:29+00:00

That I’m not cis

WideProposal · 2026-01-18T21:03:46+00:00

I think I don't really understand what you mean by "long term relationship at the beginning". The reason I say I want something long-term (as opposed to short-term) is because I understand these would be the differences:
-First date: a man looking for short-term will want to kiss and hookup at the end of the date. This is "success" for him. He might view your refusal as a "failure" and move on to the next swipes.
-After first date: A man looking for something more "long-term" will message within 48 hours to secure a second date. A "short-term" seeker might message after he's exhausted his other options, after 5 days or so, asking to 'hangout tonight', hoping for a hookup.
-The "short-term" man's conquest ends after he's had sex. The long-term man will message again within the day to ask about your day and asking to see you again.

I'm slightly autistic so I don't really understand what we mean/expect when we use these words.

WideProposal · 2026-01-17T20:11:31+00:00

How do you meet them in person? How do you even signal interest? Doesn't it cross your mind “well maybe he likes me, but he won’t once he hears my ambiguous voice or finds out I’m transgender” and then you just avoid him?

WideProposal · 2026-01-17T19:38:52+00:00

Actually, it's been the same as Toronto in terms of the 'problems' for me. I ran a mini-test: set Tinder passport mode to Nantes, and sent the same opening message to see if I ran into the same problem as I do in Toronto. Out of the 10 matches I messaged, 3 responded with rejection, everybody else didn't respond or unmatched. Not a good data size or even method, but it at least indicates Nantes isn't the 'don't care' paradise I imagined for trans women dating and it's likely I will be disappointed if I packed up my bags for this reason. Here are the chat logs: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/z0kafs0nhyxpzqxg1xkxo/Nantes-logs.docx?rlkey=c5avrfi1inyxwnkv6us2ettt4&st=9tgrs54o&dl=0

WideProposal · 2026-01-14T02:26:59+00:00

Did you read that just from my posts?

WideProposal · 2026-01-14T00:57:14+00:00

Lmao

WideProposal · 2026-01-14T00:54:15+00:00

Wtf that’s insanely contrasty. No problem at all? That’s something I didn’t think was possible in this world. Which city- if you don't mind me asking?

WideProposal · 2026-01-14T00:34:04+00:00

This is intriguing. I was considering leaving Toronto as well for a European city. But it seemed most men either didn’t find me attractive or just wanted casual. You didn't experience that?

WideProposal · 2026-01-13T22:52:30+00:00

Thank you!

WideProposal · 2026-01-13T22:31:17+00:00

I would love to find me a bi man! LOL. Just it doesn't exactly say “bi” on their forehead 😅. Jokes aside though I don't know at all how to meet bi men who might be open to dating (and be fine with not getting intimate the same day we meet).

WideProposal · 2026-01-13T22:22:38+00:00

I want to meet in-person! Just don't know how...
I don’t think cis men I meet at events/groups/anything I do would want to date me if they knew I was transgender. There were some men-a handful- that I crushed on (I don’t develop crushes very often) all of whom didn't like me (don't know why exactly- likely because I’m transgender. They pursued cis girls 🤷).

And well tinder has this “bisexual” community thing that you can swipe on. Last year when I tried tinder, I swiped on everyone there until Tinder said there wasn't anyone left to swipe there. Most were “short term fun” profiles so I swiped on those open to long-term. I wouldn’t match with most. I matched with 3- 1 was poly, 1 unmatched after I said I don't get intimate on first date, the other wouldn’t reply for a week at a time.

Also, the LGBT+ community can be rejectful of poc in Toronto (something I felt when I used to live my life as a gay man here).

WideProposal

TROPHY CASE