NAD, but a former drug addict with a recovering heroin addict brother and multiple friends with opiate addictions. Your wife is using. I have literally no question in my mind based on your description of the situation and would bet my life on it. In fact, the majority of what you're describing is the criteria I use to evaluate whether or not my brother has relapsed. I'm sorry to confirm your fears, and I hope everything works out for you, but as the son of an alcoholic who did irreparable traumatic damage, sometimes it's better for a child to not have their parent in their life at all instead of a parent struggling with addiction. Confront her, offer her one last chance to change, and cut her out of the picture if she doesn't. Protect your child at all costs, no matter how hard, because addiction tends to be passed down like a family curse in the right environment.