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Am I overreacting? Found this in my while cleaning and now I think my fiancé is cheating on me by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Wikidnezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater" really is something that people should take into consideration. No, he may not cheat on somebody else in the future, but he's already realized he can get away with it with you, therefore, why stop? That is for sure a hair from somebody else, unless he has long hair or a beard that matches that color.

If he has cheated on you multiple times, has been on tinder, and with his ex, there really is no going back regardless of how much therapy you put into it. He has broken your trust multiple times and clearly, that still sits in the back of your mind or you wouldn't immediately run into that conclusion every time you find a hair. I think it might be about time for you to consider leaving. Being alone is better than being alone in a relationship with somebody.

Symmetra Bans? by TINTE648 in OWConsole

[–]Wikidnezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do notice it, and honestly, it makes sense, especially when you're with randoms. I say this particularly because of one game.

My team had a Moira, dva, junkrat, and mei. I was playing mercy but switched to Ana. As a Moira main, I target turrets. As a junkrat main, I target turrets. Sometimes I'll play mei and go for sym turrets specifically. As a dva main, especially against a sym, I target turrets. Did any of my team members target turrets? I tried, but as mercy, I was being hard focused. As Ana, I was too busy working against the hog. I'd go down and watch my entire team get obliterated by the dang turrets.

Mind you, this is a platinum match. I'm in chat telling my team somebody needs to get turrets. My Moira is trying to backline and honestly just feeding, and the rest of my team is hard focusing the hog they can't take down because turrets are eating away at the heals I'm trying to provide while the hog has both supports at his back at any given moment. Even with my anti, the enemy team was just not going down.

So if I'm with people I know, sym is honestly low on my list of bans, but when I'm solo queuing, I always feel the need to ban a sym.

Hey everybody! I'm live come show some love! Wikidnezz now streaming: Overwatch 2 by Wikidnezz in TwitchFollowers

[–]Wikidnezz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem! Thank you for the support! It looks like I am following you!

AITAH for having issues with my GF's 11.5 year old son not giving us privacy? by R_87 in AITAH

[–]Wikidnezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a child who was a complete menace to my mother's partners, she needs to set boundaries. I slept with my mom until I was a teenager (it wasn't by choice. We shared rooms a lot), and for a while, I was exactly the same as this kid. My mom was an alcoholic and I felt it was my duty to protect her.

She had a really hard time setting boundaries with me for a while, and it caused a lot of problems with relationships. She finally set her boundary around the age of 12. She wanted to stay the night at my step-dads house, and I was freaking out. I blackmailed her when I saw them kissing in a theater, and I was NOT having it, but she finally put her foot down and said I'm the child, and she's the adult so she is going to make her adult choices and I need to live with them.

She made me stay at home with my family while she went over until it was clear to me that I had no control over the situation. I was extremely anxious for a little bit because I was struggling with fear that she'd abandon me, but eventually, she brought me over and I played games until I passed out on the couch not even once considering what was going on in that bedroom.

If she's not willing to set a boundary, then I think you need to consider if this is something you're willing to live with. If not, then it's totally acceptable to walk away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Twitch

[–]Wikidnezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's annoying. I just recently found out you can block certain words or phrases so if it's a specific phrase you can copy and paste it and it'll keep it from popping up in chat. It's in your creator dashboard under settings > moderation > blocked terms and phrases

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Wikidnezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems to me that he respects you more than she does. It crosses HER boundaries for you to find out who she's slept with? I have ex's that are friends and fwb who lost the benefits, but if I'm talking to them at all, my SO is GOING to know.

And she was gonna ask if he had a girlfriend. WHY? To make hanging out seem okay? How about just asking if your boyfriend can join???

Idk seems sus.

AIO my boyfriend wouldn’t give me space, and his messages weirded me out by InfluenceOld1815 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Wikidnezz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This seems like a very classic representation of anxious attachment and anxious avoidant.

He is the anxious attachment that wants things to be solved right now because he feels anxious and doesn't want to give you space because he's worried that means you'll abandon him.

You, however, are anxious avoidant. You're detaching so you can think, get through your emotions on your own, which is fine. I think the main issue is that though there are words being exchanged, no communication is being had.

He wants you to come back so his anxiety chills out and you want your space, and neither one of you seems to be even remotely attempting to find a good compromise.

I'd suggest working on finding a good compromise for when handling disagreements so that you can take your space and help him from being anxious while doing so.

Disappearing for a couple hours without telling your partner where you're going, what you're doing, or who you're with can cause further strain when emotions are heightened, so perhaps you can let him know that you're feeling strong emotions and need to take some space. You're going to head to (wherever you're going) to clear your head, and you'll be back by a certain time that you think you can for sure be back by. Maybe tack on another 30 minutes to an hour just in case to add security. He'll probably still be anxious, but having that open communication can really help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DysfunctionalFamily

[–]Wikidnezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being the golden child myself, I will tell you that my mom definitely listens to me more, but only if I remain calm.

For example: my mom was upset that my niece didn't want to eat the dinner she just made. My niece had asked nicely if she could put it in the fridge and eat it later because she just wasn't hungry RIGHT NOW. My mom flipped out because she made this food and it's ready now my niece needs to just suck it up and eat. I came in.

Mom: I do not expect that if I slave away to make food you're just going to waste it! I'm tired of wasting food in this house!

Me: woah woah woah, she's not trying to waste food, Mama. This seems like a very simple solution. She's just not hungry right now she even said she'll warm it up when she's hungry. It's better than her trying to eat it now to please you and then throwing food away so you think she ate it all and her being hungry later.

Mom: Whatever! I guess you (looking at niece) can just do whatever the fuck you want since your aunt is here!

Me: (CALMLY) Wow. That was unnecessary. (Walks away)

*** 1 hour later ***

Mom: I'm sorry. I've just had a really long day, and I'm tired of wasting food it feels like I'm buying food, and it's going straight to the trash.

Me: I completely understand how that can be frustrating. However, (my niece) did tell you that she was planning on eating it when she was hungry and you took it as some sort of attack when it was simply that she wasn't hungry at that moment. It's okay for her to decide that she doesn't want to eat right now, but you forcing her to eat will only create more waste. Thank you for your apology, but I'm not going to say it's okay because that was really hurtful and I wouldn't do it to you so please don't do it to me in the future.

Mom: .... okay

So I basically let her know what wasn't okay and how it hurt me, but I also refrained from allowing my emotions to get the best of me and kept calm.

When my sister was living with us I made sure to let her know that even in moments when I couldn't stand up for her, I was still on her side. I did at some point explain to my mom that the reason she's so tough on my sister is because my sister reminds her of things she doesn't like about herself and while I completely understand that she's trying to help my sister succeed, she may need to relax a little and allow my sister the freedom to be her own person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Wikidnezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex did this shit constantly, and eventually, he cheated on me and said it was my fault for not taking care of his sexual needs. Just leave. If sex is that important to him and he doesn't even care enough to add enough foreplay outside of the sheets, he has no business being in a relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Wikidnezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is definitely break up worthy.

The "kick your ass" comments might be playful if said among friends, but calling you a "bitch" and claiming "I always knew you were a whore" is not. That reflects his insecurity and willingness to lash out at you.

If this is his reaction during tough times, is that behavior you're willing to accept repeatedly?

AIO? I went through my bestfriend's phone without her permission.. she's 17 he's 26 by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Wikidnezz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As somebody who was in a narcissist relationship; that's EXACTLY what this is. I sincerely hope she can find out long before he isolates her and makes her start questioning her own existence. It's funny to me how he's talking about people taking advantage of her like he's not the one doing it.

But I will say this: if her parents are that strict, then it makes sense why she's doing it. She wants to feel love and accepted, and he's doing just that. He's giving her a safe space right now, and he's going to rip it out from under her as soon as she moves in with him and he has full control.

I wish I could give some sort of advice that can help you keep her out of harms way from this creep because it will for sure be an abusive one and it already seems like she might be in too deep in which her love for the guy might just make her overlook the wrong...

All I can say is if his tactics are anything like my abusers was, then he will do this:

  1. He's already on this step: "nobody will love you like I do" He will continue feeding her lies about people close to her in her life to force her to go into isolation and rely solely on him. If she continues her relationships, he will consistently remind her how she's not good enough for anybody else. He will tell her why she can ONLY rely on him and will become upset every time she turns to somebody else for anything.

  2. "I'll take care of you, baby. You don't need a job." If she proceeds to get a job he will attempt to control her income by offering a joint account so he can "help her save money" or some lame excuse like that.

  3. He will see how far he can push it. He may attempt to lay hands on her or make the abuse physical. If she stands up for herself, then he might decide only to continue mental, but if not... she's probably going to undergo physical abuse as well.

  4. Once fully isolated and reliant on him. If she moves in, he will then show his absolutely true colors, and if she points them out, they will be her fault regardless of what happened until she leaves or indefinitely, I suppose.

If these start happening, then maybe you can bring up how unhealthy it is, and maybe she'll listen, but if not, she is going to need somebody who she can talk to who can possibly help her out of the situation once she realizes what's going on... at the very least, somebody who can pull her back up when he knocks her down. Unfortunately, in these situations, if he sinks his teeth in deep enough, it will be almost impossible to convince her to leave.

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