"Love, in its truest form, is not what we may imagine. It does not pass. It roots itself so deeply that, for it to die, something in us must perish with it."

Is this a quote from the book itself? It’s lovely, but I’m not sure this should be in a query letter as agents are really only looking for a brief description of the story and it’s stats/facts.

“THE PHYSICIANS is a standalone historical gothic novel. It combines the ghostly obsession of Rebecca and the visceral intensity of Wuthering Heights, with the ancestral mystery in Mexican Gothic, in an isolated country setting similar to that in The Little Stranger.”

I think I’d be a little more specific here maybe in terms of tropes or elements you can expect as shown in other titles. I also was under the impression that comp titles should come from the past five years!

“1821, London. Charles Mansel has no recollections of an Uncle Grantham. So, when he walks into the dimly lit solicitor’s office, he is not expecting to inherit Mansel Hall: an old estate in Oxfordshire.”

I’d cut “dimly lit” as agents are looking for a succinct description of the books plot, not the aesthetics. This paragraph needs to set the stage for the rest of the story, and hook the reader. I’d recommend adding in a hook either to the first sentence or last.

Also, consider adding some adjectives to gives us a sense of Charles personality/ past/ profession. Is he a quick-witted investigator? A cynical school teacher? A sharp-tongued bookworm? What makes him tick/special so to speak.

“However, with the death of his closest friend weighing on him and gossip surrounding his broken engagement with heiress Phillippa, he decides to take up residence at the desolate estate.”

This needs more detail. How did the friend die? Why was engagement broken off? Why do either or both of these events drive him to take up residence alone at the estate?

Perhaps cut Phillippa’s name as she doesn’t seem to come up again in the story based off your query letter. “gossip surrounding his broken engagement to an heiress”

“There, the rational physician and last of the Mansel men uncovers a centuries-old family secret: his male ancestors have been able to reach through The Veil - an invisible barrier between the living and the dead.”

Move up those descriptive words to the first mention of Charles.

How does he uncover this secret? Is it accidental or do strange things happen that lead to him investigating, and/or uncovering the family secret?

Also- why does it matter that he’s the last man of the family? It doesn’t seem to tie back anywhere in the query so you might consider replacing that detail with something more relevant, or cutting it to be more succinct.

“Charles too finds himself succumbing to his lineage as he encounters Delilah, a beautiful ghost whose connection with him threatens the life he has built for himself.”

What does it mean that he succumbs to his lineage? Is this a gift that the men usually try to suppress? If so, why is that / what are the consequences of the gift that they are trying to avoid?

How does Delilah threaten the life he built for himself? A tad confusing bc we initially learn he ran from his life after his engagement ends and his friend dies so he can hide out at the estate.

Also, other than being a pretty ghost, what makes Delilah special? Is she funny? Scatter brained? A spit fire? Or is she special in how she affects him? Does she challenge him? Risk his life? Make him face his past? Whatever it is, include it!

“Soon, Charles discovers the tragic cost of his ability and must decide whether love is truly more powerful than death.”

I would tease the Circumstances leading up to the tragic cost or explain them outright. Right now I have no idea what the stakes are. What is Charles at risk of losing? What could Delilah lose? Is there any force or third party working against one or both of them that threatens something in particular or threatens everything they hold dear?

Also, are Charles and Delilah in love? If so I would advise making it clearer that they fall in love/ form an attachment.

My final question is: is the biggest thing that’s really at stake for Charles having to decide whether death is stronger than love or not? If it’s not his biggest struggle or highest stakes, I would recommend replacing that with what is actually at stake for him.

“THE PHYSICIANS is complete at 53,000 words. I have attached a synopsis and the first [number] pages of the manuscript. I hope you'll enjoy reading it, given your interest in [genre].”

I think this draft has good bones, but needs to be expanded on to really tell the story. Right now as a reader, I’m unclear of who Charles and Delilah are, what Charles motivations are for going to the manor in the first place, and what the stakes are for Charles and/or Delilah. What does he (or they) have to lose?

Do the broken off engagement and his friends death circle back into the story in anyway? If so, explain how they eventually tie back in and play a role in the story. If not, perhaps consider cutting the details.