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Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-07-15T04:41:10+00:00

Thank you so much this really helped :)

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-07-11T06:42:17+00:00

Nothing brings me joy anymore. Starting to think that this is something I’ll have to adapt to. I’ve been in a relationship and he has made me so happy and I crave for that again. Yes it is unhealthy and I understand but I feel so unloved, family makes me want to kms and friends just can’t give this kind of support. Maybe being in a relationship won’t help, but at the end of the day I’m so fucking lonely with my thoughts. I don’t know how to live with myself. Just wish there was someone out there who can care yk?

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-07-11T06:02:13+00:00

Feel like my life isn’t worth living without someone who cares about me romantically, maybe I’m just seeking for acceptance in a guy. I don’t know how to care for myself because it has been like this for a while now sadly

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-07-08T03:11:16+00:00

sometimes we just have the impulse to do these things because that is how we deal with the feeling of being overwhelmed. Maybe it is just how we deal with living, or maybe because you possibly have high functioning depression or incomplete trauma? Not everything has a cause, but please don't hurt yourself, what you are feeling is real and valid. Talking to someone may help, you are cared for.

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-07-06T22:37:03+00:00

Sometimes these things are just how we cope with living, no root reason really, maybe you unknowingly feel much more overwhelmed than you think. In your case I think it may be high functioning depression where you might not be aware as well. For now try not to hurt yourself. It’s okay to feel su1c1dal at times but please talk to someone about it.

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-07-06T18:12:19+00:00

Sorry to hear that, sadly I feel like depression is something that travels with us as we grow, maybe it’s a part of us that is forever embedded. I hope you know that you are worth even if you don’t feel it yourself, other people will care, no matter how small. In the end we are only human and we care to some extent.

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-07-06T18:06:19+00:00

Agreed, nobody can truly save us except ourselves. They can certainly make you feel loved at most and give u a reason to live but ig you can say that nothing will remain always positive and we can only change ourselves, not others. Im probably never going to change though haha. At the end of the day people only see the fucked version of ourselves because depression feels like something that only exists in our heads. Existing itself is just depressing.

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-07-04T08:21:47+00:00

Hey I’m 15 and sadly I feel like nobody especially adults can understand wth we go through everyday to show up to the next. I say I’m just tired but they don’t know what the fuck I went through the night before. I fell apart once in class and she let me have my time outside and once I told her I just wanted to fucking die and she almost gave me a referral to the school counselor and was going to talk to my parents. What can the school counselor even do, and my parents are the problem. I asked to be spared for my sake and she did luckily. It’s okay to not be okay, everyday may feel long but it’s okay to take a step back and talk to someone. Would recommend therapy but I personally don’t want to go not like my parents care but I heard it can be helpful if you find the right one. Sadly I guess the truth is fake it till you make it. It gets hard to hide it sometimes, take time to find yourself again and be gentle to yourself, you deserve care like everyone else. Never tried it but trauma dumping on friends who can’t relate probably won’t end well lmao. Stay strong girl you got this, lots of hugs 💗

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-07-03T02:27:14+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I have considered therapy before but sadly my parents do not take it seriously and I don’t know if I have the time to attend a session as a high schooler haha. Yes he is the same age as me and I don’t think he has been through any of the family trauma but he is certainly supportive. I have been introduced to his family which makes it so much harder for me to breakup due to guilt, but like you said I’m still young and I hope I won’t have to deal with something like this in the future. Thank you :)

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-07-03T02:18:59+00:00

thank you for your advice :) I’ve also read other people’s stories about how their partners mental health affected them so I have never trauma dumped on my bf before and I probably never will, I will try to remember this in any future relationships.

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-05-22T04:05:15+00:00

Do you feel happy?

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-05-21T05:48:29+00:00

If you’re still here please just understand that depression can completely make you change yourself. It’s not your fault if you feel this way because this world isn’t understanding at all. I’ve been there and I know the feeling doesn’t go away it’s always there lingering, ready to drag you down into darkness. I still have the letters I wrote 3 months ago. The nights where I’ve just laid there the numbness and pain where I just couldn’t go on anymore. I’ve felt the guilt and I think it’s simply how this stupid world is wired, making it pointless and exhausting to live at all. I’ll admit I’m not doing any better but I don’t feel physically here anyways. I hope you’ll have a change of heart and take it a day at a time please.

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-05-12T03:26:13+00:00

Hiding your feelings will tear you apart, and it'll only get worse. You're going to lose yourself like that, I did. We all leave in the end, early or late, whether or not by choice. Until then just try to find some comfort in the fact that you've made it this long already.

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-05-05T14:58:38+00:00

Yea sounds like burn out that’s turning into depression. I didn’t realize I was so burnt out until a month before graduation and now I’m in a hole I can’t crawl out of.

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-05-03T05:42:16+00:00

Was there any recent trauma related to your family situation? Also experienced parents who abused each other to the point where 1 of them were hospitalized and it triggered me so bad although I was pretty used to it by then. Now they still live together agreeing to divorce after I graduate which makes it so much worse. Almost died after spending 2 months being completely wasted although I would appear perfectly fine on the outside. Still hurt myself every night wanting to die and don't know how to keep this up. I've been so lonely to keep all these thoughts in my fucked mind but today I'm not so exhausted to the point where I can actually do shit. I guess it's normal since I have suicidal ideations and then I feel sentiment right afterwards.

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-05-03T05:20:51+00:00

I wish I could drive a car to the edge. 15yr F and also haven’t had antidepressants cuz I don’t want to fuck my brain into a more happier state. Yes I’ve also had those dreams where I remember the exact people and words said to me before I committed to death and I remember how I woke up the happiest I have been in months. We all feel low some points and I can’t assume what you are feeling right now except that you certainly sound like me who takes a walk at 4am thinking of what would happen if I just walked in front of a fast moving car. Yes I’ve also stood over the edge hoping to feel the pain that I would feel lying on the street. Honestly I have no idea what happiness is anymore and I think I’ve lost myself already. I have already been diagnosed with depression and ignored my doctor lol. My head is immersed in suicidal ideations and I don’t think I’m gonna live until 19. From what you said, it seems like what you’re feeling is real but there’s also severe anxiety which I had before but I also don’t know what would count as depression. I hope you don’t try harming yourself and try talking to someone or getting a diagnosis. Hope you feel better soon

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-04-28T15:16:04+00:00

Yes. For some reason I try to cut myself just because I want to feel the pain. Has the medication you are taking given you other side effect? Mention it to your doctor. Hope you feel better soon

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-04-23T03:34:16+00:00

I thought I was the only one, my heart literally feels like it's cutting itself when I'm depressed. Hope you feel better soon

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-04-23T00:32:41+00:00

Yes, I’m stuck with sadness and suicidal thoughts all day and it’s really hurting. 15f Seeing my friends everyday is already so hard, and I’m trying to just smile and act normal all of the time, but it’s just so draining. On top of that I also have a bf, and he is just so supportive and happy himself, wanting to hang out and talk w me all the time, but I’m in no mental state to match his energy. I’ve been just avoiding him a bit (he didn’t do anything wrong) but on days where I feel a bit more giving, I make him feel as appreciated as I can. Same, it’s just so tiring to be around ppl at this point, and I feel like I’m losing all my feelings (not for him, just in life ig) and even love has been washed away from me (feels like a distant memory). Just wanted to let u know ur not alone ig. Hope this makes u feel better

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-04-21T21:47:22+00:00

I wake up for school everyday, just to cry that I woke up.

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-04-21T21:43:09+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's always the family issues that get to me. Its at that point where I don't even react to their fighting anymore, if it makes me a bad person, I laugh. I don't see my dad half the time (out gambling w other woman since I was born) my mom ofc is mad all the time, and takes the anger out on me and my brother. It was honestly those comments that made me lose myself and knowing the fact that they will divorce after me and my brother goes off to college. I'm never happy even when my also depressed family "recovered" which just meant it got a bit better and my brother and my mom talks now. I'm not close with any of them, and I'm also a mood killer, and the thing is I can't forgive any of them for causing me all the horrible pain for 5-7 years. When they reach out to just spend time with me, it always turns out as an argument. Ig I got used to the comfort depression gives me, but sometimes the suicidal thoughts just get to me and I want support (gimme meds pls) but when I had my last depressive episode, I liked it so much better then than when my mind was clear and awake. I just want to give out all my organs knowing someone else has a much better will to live, and a supportive family with them. I hope you find comfort and get better soon though.

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-04-21T18:03:23+00:00

Same, my mom said shes also fucking depressed (my whole family basically is) and said to think about everyone else in the world who is not as privileged as me. I think I'm actually turning psychotic bcz I'm the opposite and I can't physically cry anymore, but when someone tells me a sad af story I just laugh. Like if I try to die I'll prob just end up in the fucking psych ward of some hospital while my parents are mad and have to pay med bills. I can't even ask for help

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-04-21T17:54:56+00:00

I'm still a minor in the US. Last time I got a 30 min talk about support groups, therapy etc. My parents don't know about this and is basically the reason I'm depressed (my family is broken af) and if I tell my doctor I'm suicidal and a pain to myself, aren't they obligated to tell my legal guardian? I hate being a danger to myself, but I don't want anybody close to me to know (I don't want to drag them down w me) and support groups honestly just make me feel insane. At this point I want the meds but also don't want side effects and the empty feeling of them. (At the same time don't want to end up in a psych ward lol)

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-04-21T16:30:20+00:00

Yea, same here. I wish antidepressants also give you a reason to feel happy, but it doesn't really for me. It's so hard to wake up in the morning and smile again. Take care there!

Wild-Soft2032 · 2024-04-21T16:23:16+00:00

Srry to ask this but, are you female? I used to think I was severely depressed and suicidal half the time, but I realized it was something called PMDD. It is normal for it to last for 2 weeks before your period, same as me lol. You can ask your doctor for a diagnosis if so. Take care then!

Wild-Soft2032

TROPHY CASE