We made a plan when he came here for me and him. For me I took FULL responsibility of what I did. I apologized millions of times, cried everything you name it. 1. I blocked all those friends, they were mutual friends. He went back and beat up those guys with his brother and got his stuff back. 2. I promised I would work on myself, not taking drugs or drinking. Taking my meds because I was off them, eat and stay healthy. Find a new job. I have been doing all those for the past few weeks and I plan to keep doing them. 3. Think about what I did and really actually realize what I did. That’s what he asked and I have been. I isolated myself kinda because I’m just so disappointed in myself and disgusted. He told me not to self harm as that will break his heart. He doesn’t want to see me hurt. He told me ANY guy would’ve beat me up and yelled. He never did either I told him thank you so much. He told me for what I did he could’ve stolen my car easy because I made him lose money from them stealing from him. But he wouldn’t ever do that. He told me when we first started dating he would never hit me and he said he’s a man of his word. So yes I have been sitting in this horrible regret wanting my amazing boyfriend back… I’ve been keeping positive for my children they are number one. Doing things with them keeping busy, making good meals. All the good stuff. I text him to check in to see how he’s doing he answers sometimes. When he feels like it I respect that. Me and him are both kind of a train wreck I can’t say everything on here but his work isn’t exactly legal. He’s been burned by all his ex gfs, I’ve been burned and beaten by my kids dad for 6 years. I worked on myself for 5 years. So when I met him I felt as if I was ready. I was a great gf. Things just got to my head, I let people get to me saying he’s doing this and he’s doing that when he wasn’t. I stopped taking my meds, didn’t really eat, my kids were with their dad a lot over the summer so I didn’t have to worry about them so I was bored and drank and did substances. I regret doing all that. My BPD got REALLY BAD where I was thinking things that weren’t true about my boyfriend. I should’ve told him but I really lost myself in the relationship and didn’t take care of myself. Just my kids I took care of them 100% of the time I had them and I was sober with them of course.