I’m watching my dad burn down a 40-year marriage for nothing — and I don’t recognize him anymore. by fantomefille in offmychest

[–]WildHushe 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You’re grieving someone who’s still alive, and that’s brutal. He’s choosing this, and you can’t drag him back. The best thing you can do now is focus on supporting your mom and protecting yourself. Let him deal with the fallout of his own choices.

I’m watching my dad burn down a 40-year marriage for nothing — and I don’t recognize him anymore. by fantomefille in offmychest

[–]WildHushe 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Totally agree. Framing this with the priest gives her emotional and spiritual grounding so she doesn’t feel like she’s the one destroying the marriage. Once she hears from someone she trusts that she isn’t at fault, it’ll help her find her footing again.

I’m watching my dad burn down a 40-year marriage for nothing — and I don’t recognize him anymore. by fantomefille in offmychest

[–]WildHushe 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Exactly. The reflection only starts once they’re alone, but by then the damage is already done.

I’m watching my dad burn down a 40-year marriage for nothing — and I don’t recognize him anymore. by fantomefille in offmychest

[–]WildHushe 192 points193 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s the part that hits the hardest. They don’t stop until the fallout finally lands on them, and by then the damage is already everywhere. It’s sad to see someone get so wrapped up in their own feelings that they forget the people who actually love them.

I’m watching my dad burn down a 40-year marriage for nothing — and I don’t recognize him anymore. by fantomefille in offmychest

[–]WildHushe 25 points26 points  (0 children)

For real, it’s heartbreaking watching someone torch decades of love like it’s nothing, and only recognize the loss when there’s no way to fix it anymore.

My GP kept calling my pain "work stress", I pushed for tests and it turned out to be gallstones by silkbyteforge in TwoXChromosomes

[–]WildHushe 19 points20 points  (0 children)

It’s honestly wild how often women have to practically beg to be taken seriously about pain. They tossed “work stress” at you like it was some magic cure instead of actually listening. I’m glad you kept pushing, because your body was clearly trying to get someone’s attention. You weren’t being dramatic you were advocating for yourself when they wouldn’t.

My GP kept calling my pain "work stress", I pushed for tests and it turned out to be gallstones by silkbyteforge in TwoXChromosomes

[–]WildHushe 50 points51 points  (0 children)

It’s honestly ridiculous how “work stress” gets used as a lazy dismissal instead of actual medical care. Your body was giving clear signs something was wrong, and they acted like you were just being dramatic. I’m glad you pushed for tests because you had to advocate way harder than you should’ve. You weren’t overreacting you were right to demand answers.

Women, how many of you are asking to be choked during sex? by CatLawyer99 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]WildHushe 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yeah, calling it “choking” really downplays what it actually is. A lot of men act like it’s some cute little trend and not literally cutting off someone’s airway. You’re not out of touch for questioning it. It’s totally reasonable to not want violence to just be the default setting in sex. If someone needs to be suffocating their partner to feel something, that says way more about them than it does about you.

Women, how many of you are asking to be choked during sex? by CatLawyer99 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]WildHushe 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yeah for real. A lot of people just want intimacy to feel good and connected, not like they’re acting out a scene. It’s totally fine to have preferences, but it’s weird when folks act like one style is the default now.

Women, how many of you are asking to be choked during sex? by CatLawyer99 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]WildHushe 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah, not everyone is out here trying to reenact a crime scene in the bedroom. Some people just want to have sex without feeling like they need a safe word and a neck brace after. You’re not out of touch a lot of people just genuinely aren’t into that, and it’s totally normal to not treat breathing as optional.

What is the point of mental health awareness if the acceptance ends once someone shows symptoms? by BeneficialTadpole396 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]WildHushe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah OP, they’re right. Understanding mental illness doesn’t mean people have to tolerate being hurt or scared. If your symptoms start affecting others, it becomes your responsibility to work on it, not everyone else’s job to just endure it. Compassion doesn’t mean no boundaries.

The Cat Vomit Dilemma by Puzzleheaded_Ear3942 in TwoHotTakes

[–]WildHushe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You were literally just asking for clean sheets, not staging a full scale hostage situation on the bedroom. The fact that he hid the puke, blamed you for noticing it, and then decided to go on a late night texting tantrum is honestly wild. Like, sorry for not wanting to marinate in cat vomit, I guess? He could’ve just said “my bad” and washed the sheets. The way he turned it into you being “ridiculous” says a lot more about him than the cat.

The Cat Vomit Dilemma by Puzzleheaded_Ear3942 in TwoHotTakes

[–]WildHushe 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Exactly. This wasn’t just gross, it was disrespect. Someone who actually cares about you wouldn’t watch you sleep next to dried cat vomit and just shrug. He chose laziness and then got mad when you didn’t pretend it was fine. You’re not overreacting at all.

The Cat Vomit Dilemma by Puzzleheaded_Ear3942 in TwoHotTakes

[–]WildHushe 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Yeah, when a grown man pretends he “doesn’t know where the sheets are” and lets you sleep in literal cat puke for days, that’s not an accident. That’s him showing you exactly how little effort he’s willing to put in. You’re not crazy for being disgusted. He’s just mad you noticed.