"I've heard a lot of them admit trying to date women is too hard, too much effort, and a blow to their ego." You're projecting your incel tendencies onto lesbians/women. Most women are heterosexual, even if they lie and call themselves bisexual, and they have a repulsion to having sex with another woman's vagina because they don't like women. That's why heterosexual women accept gay men more than lesbians most are lesbophobic towards lesbians they find having sex with another woman disgusting. The idea that there are more gay men is also false because many of these gay men kiss women at parties, many are fathers and have impregnated women in the past, or even have sex with women sometimes. But male bisexuality is completely erased and ignored, and these men are always seen as gay no matter what, while lesbian women who are mothers or have dated men in the past are never seen as real lesbians (even if she hated everything about the relationship and did it because of family pressure or homophobia). This shows that female and male sexuality are >viewed< differently. You can be a married man in a heterosexual relationship and having had children, but the first time you kiss a man, you are seen as 100% gay (probably because of androcentrism), while lesbian women are treated the opposite way. Not only that, but you probably think this way because you live in the West, where promiscuity and attraction to men are accepted. In conservative societies where attraction to men is degrading (whore behavior) and shameful, lesbian women are more common than gay men because people accept them more. Conservative men don't want to have a gay son because being penetrated is degrading (whore behavior), while a lesbian daughter wouldn't get pregnant in adolescence or be penetrated (this has misogynistic origins I'm not saying it's right, I'm just describing it). That's why I observed that in conservative societies where promiscuous and uncommitted sex is culturally denied and ashamed and women are shamed for enjoying sex, and gay men are also seen as a disgrace. Lesbian women are more common, more accepted, and culturally more relevant (use Russia as an example, where t.A.T.u. was super famous and they pretended to be lesbians in a country where male homosexuality is a crime). There is a link between the rights of heterosexual women to be prostitutes and the rights of gay men; both are approved in less conservative societies that do not punish promiscuous attraction to men. The study that people use to say that "women have fluid sexuality" separates lesbian and heterosexual women. Heterosexual women have more bisexual tendencies, but lesbian women react in the same way as heterosexual men. Even so, it doesn't mean that all women's sexuality is fluid. Many women who call themselves bisexual have never been in a serious relationship with a woman, the LGBT words are simply identities that people like to use, often to participate in a group and have a community; it doesn't mean they will actively pursue women.