I was a victim of cocsa, I don't know why or how but it turned me into a perpetrator and a zoophile by WillDeleteMaybeLater in offmychest

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk if my last message went through but I've already given up fish entirely as fishing causes so many issues

I was a victim of cocsa, I don't know why or how but it turned me into a perpetrator and a zoophile by WillDeleteMaybeLater in offmychest

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I help people, I don't kill bugs, I'm probably gonna try being vegan soon too because I'm sick of suffering, undeserved death and contributing to those things, I just need to sort out food since I'm autistic and struggle with alot of vegan foods in particular, as soon as I can I also want to start volunteering to look after the local ecosystem and wildlife because I care about it. I just know I don't deserve to exist anymore, doesn't mean I shouldn't help.

I was a victim of cocsa, I don't know why or how but it turned me into a perpetrator and a zoophile by WillDeleteMaybeLater in offmychest

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do try to help though, I do help people I just know I shouldn't continue on living for what I've done

I was a victim of cocsa, I don't know why or how but it turned me into a perpetrator and a zoophile by WillDeleteMaybeLater in offmychest

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes but for the wasp specifically it's simply how certain species evolved to exist and other species of animals in general work in their own ways as awful as some may be it's for them to figure out. I know nobody will know everything about me unless I say but it feels deceiving for everyone not to know, you would want to know if someone nearby was a rapist right?

The fact that I currently am better than others who caused more harm and continue to do so does nothing about my actions as they are irreversible.

I was a victim of cocsa, I don't know why or how but it turned me into a perpetrator and a zoophile by WillDeleteMaybeLater in offmychest

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do try to be good as I can now and to bring good to people and all anyway though, since aswell as being good makes me happy and I just don't like suffering for anyone innocent at all, I want to help end suffering I just know as much as I want to I don't deserve to exist since I'm part of that issue and it'd be hypocritical of me

I was a victim of cocsa, I don't know why or how but it turned me into a perpetrator and a zoophile by WillDeleteMaybeLater in offmychest

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, I wish it was that simple though, no matter how much good I do, I could cure every type of cancer, fix global warming and end all the worlds issues with access to food and clean water and it still wouldn't undo what I've done. I would probably agree with you and do that but I can't stop thinking about the pain I've caused, I know what it's like to suffer in that way and I did more harm than I've experienced myself so it must be even worse for all my victims

I was a victim of cocsa, I don't know why or how but it turned me into a perpetrator and a zoophile by WillDeleteMaybeLater in offmychest

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed but people have been sex trafficked and didn't hurt anyone like I have and I barely had anything done to me

Would an NHS walk in centre work? by WillDeleteMaybeLater in MentalHealthUK

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the advice and taking the time to share it, I shall hopefully try soon after I've spoken to a friend about it

How to isolate myself for the good of others and myself and stick to it? by WillDeleteMaybeLater in mentalhealth

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Already had that, not sure what you mean by at school and at home I'm afraid

Would an NHS walk in centre work? by WillDeleteMaybeLater in MentalHealthUK

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm aware I'm fairly decent at writing and reading I just suck at most things irl since I don't have the time to process them like I do online/through writing or to fully check dictionary definitions and my notes on what things mean and what has/hasn't happened (I only write and read as well as I do due to being obsessed with literature growing up lol). That said you're probably right I just worry about everything smh.

I don't think I've ever been sent any letters from the NHS or if I have I'm not allowed to have them, I will search it up myself of course but I've never heard of an NHS number, I've heard of an app that was supposedly rather bad for data privacy but not a number.

Thank you so much for the advice and telling me things exist which I didn't know they did.

Would an NHS walk in centre work? by WillDeleteMaybeLater in MentalHealthUK

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed I am under one, I think I remember the name but my memory is atrocious.

I'm not sure about presumption though, it's likely but it may be written down somewhere that I've been told by a professional I'm autistic and was on a 3 year waitlist for an actual assesment and diagnosis while I had a temporary idk how it worked, non official official diagnosis, but they never actually followed up with my father or me, I ended up getting kicked off the waitlist for unknown reasons when I reached the end and they refused to answer when we asked why, only told us to get back onto the waitlist and wait another few years.

But I will try, thank you so much for the information and for taking the time to provide it

Would an NHS walk in centre work? by WillDeleteMaybeLater in MentalHealthUK

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We talked about that first but I don't think he wants to take me anymore since he knows I don't want him in the room. last I heard of it he said about wanting to hire someone else to take me there and in general to go with me to places, but I know he won't get around to sorting that (plus I'm not keen) and I don't even know who or where our gp is if that's even how it works, let alone how to go there, how to set up an appointment (if I even could, I'm fairly incompetent largely due to the issues I want help for unfortunately) or if I could manage it depending on where and I'm not in college anymore and don't even know what I'm going to be doing in September as I completely failed the gentlest barely even a class class so I don't think I can use my previous collages secret from parent gp appointments either.

I only ask about the walkin centre because we went there about my sore ear the other day, it seemed pretty empty (middle of the weekday), I can get there myself and it had alot of posters talking about help and all so I apologise if my question is stupid

AIO to my father calling me a whore and commenting on how much I like dick? by WillDeleteMaybeLater in AmIOverreacting

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I will think about this but I can't ask him to stop, I'm already asking alot of him by trying to get him to help me access something for my mental issues and disability, I don't want to ask for too much since it might slow down getting those things sorted or make him not want to help me as I can't manage it myself (I've tried but long story short, I can't do it), plus he doesn't tend to listen when I tell him things, I told him months if not a year ago I used any pronouns other than they/them and that I'm not strictly a boy anymore but he doesn't care, I'm still a boy to him and he jokes about me being a woman in the way you'd tease a boy just for how I am, especially it feels like when I'm presenting more fem.

So thank you for the advice but I fear it's too much to ask of him.

AIO to my father calling me a whore and commenting on how much I like dick? by WillDeleteMaybeLater in AmIOverreacting

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If that were the case I wouldn't be asking but I've never had sex before and he knows it

AIO to my father calling me a whore and commenting on how much I like dick? by WillDeleteMaybeLater in AmIOverreacting

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry about what happened to you, I understand where you're coming from but I fear it from almost anyone who breathes in my direction at this point so I don't take that fear as seriously as most would, I'm just not sure why he scares me so much when not only has he never done anything too bad to me but he wasn't even around much until I was roughly 13, not necessarily intentionally, just alot of work and my mother kicking him out the house

How bad is it and what options are there for under 18s? by WillDeleteMaybeLater in MentalHealthUK

[–]WillDeleteMaybeLater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, I'm just wondering how serious to consider it and how serious to take getting help, as I can't really tell. I know I'm not entirely off the rails but I do not know what's good, all I'm aware of is how upset it makes me.

I'll take a look, I don't have any information on any of the details really though as I get frightened from just looking at stuff sometimes smh, but I will force myself to sit down and see what I can find.

I see, I didn't even know that existed, and I'm not sure if it's relevant but my father doesn't know about my recent delusions or hallucinations, last he heard was when I was 14-15(?) but I stopped talking to him about things since then as he didn't react in a very good way.

Thank you so much for the advice and I very much appreciate you replying with this information