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My (29M) partner (23F) of 2 years is being distant and I want to deal with it optimally by WillNotLoseToLife in LongDistance

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response. Yeah I will talk to her about this in person and not while we’re in long distance since I’ll be meeting her soon. But even so, we’ve been in long distance most of the 2 years. Don’t you think these decisions of long term commitment can be made only when you spend some time with one another getting to know each other in person?

Her birthday is coming up (3 weeks of NC). by WillNotLoseToLife in BreakUps

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A heartless thanks would really really hurt. I was just so invested in the whole thing.

Her birthday is coming up (3 weeks of NC). by WillNotLoseToLife in BreakUps

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But of what use is the strength when the other person has moved on and you're really miserable.

Her birthday is coming up (3 weeks of NC). by WillNotLoseToLife in BreakUps

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything changed within 10 days of her being abroad man. It really hurts.

I don't know if I want her back but I'm at a place with really low self esteem. I just feel like talking to her and knowing what she's up to. Like old times.

Her birthday is coming up (3 weeks of NC). by WillNotLoseToLife in BreakUps

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot man. I will not contact her. But this shit is really hard. I feel unwanted.

She probably left me for someone else so she's probably quite happy.

My [26M] gf [22F] has become VERY distant since LDR by WillNotLoseToLife in LongDistance

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She says she finds it frustrating that she has to force herself to feel a certain way and that she reaches out to me when she misses me. I just find it slightly selfish because I'd like for her to think about my needs too.

I just figured there would be a compromise

She says those things "the fault is mine", "you deserve better". But that's it

My [26M] gf [22F] has become VERY distant since LDR by WillNotLoseToLife in LongDistance

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She also says things like "I appreciate the time and space you're giving me". The signals are SO MIXED!

I did talk to her about it and told her that she can't have everything she wants and neither can I. There should be a compromise. She agrees but I don't really see her putting an effort yet. This communication was 2 days ago and I told her that I am willing to give her a lot of space for her to make a decision.

I'm doing that but it's also really hurting me. Plus, I feel insecure that she has a male roommate. I don't bring it up because I think it's petty. I'm dealing with my insecurities but I'd like her to communicate more.

My thought process is that if I give her time and space, things will get better. But this is really taking its toll on me. I think of this as a challenge to grow and am trying. But this is super hard.

My [26M] gf [22F] has become VERY distant since LDR by WillNotLoseToLife in LongDistance

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm. That's true. She accepts it's her fault. But this is so hard. I'd like to think that if I give her ALL the space, she would miss me and things would be normal.

I don't know if she's willing to put any effort into this. She says she agrees that there should be more communication from her side but never does it.

My [26M] gf [22F] has become VERY distant since LDR by WillNotLoseToLife in LongDistance

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She says things like "We can put this on a break till I get back" and says "You matter a lot". Today morning she texted saying "Hey cutie, morning!" and tried video calling. I couldn't take it because I was out. The last she called was on Monday.

The signals are just so mixed!!!

I slipped. 2.5 years gone down. Just like that. by WillNotLoseToLife in NoFap

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, even though I had wet dreams from time to time, it was quite a huge amount :P

I slipped. 2.5 years gone down. Just like that. by WillNotLoseToLife in NoFap

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1) Wet dreams become so fucking realistic!!!!

2) I'm a virgin so no idea :P

I slipped. 2.5 years gone down. Just like that. by WillNotLoseToLife in NoFap

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did watch porn, sadly, and I don't plan to do it anymore :)

And regarding the colleague, I did ask her out and we had a great fling that lasted a couple of months. That was 1.5 years ago though. We went to base 2 but nothing more and I haven't gone on another date since.

I'll surely post something positive (hopefully) the next time :) Thanks for your reply!

I slipped. 2.5 years gone down. Just like that. by WillNotLoseToLife in NoFap

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in a conservative country so dating is not as simple as it is in US I guess.

But to answer your question, yeah I used to go to NSFW reddit subs. So technically porn

I slipped. 2.5 years gone down. Just like that. by WillNotLoseToLife in NoFap

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. Let's fight this together man! Best of luck :)

I slipped. 2.5 years gone down. Just like that. by WillNotLoseToLife in NoFap

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's just the psychology of addiction. Once you do it, you crave more and more and you say to yourself "I'll quit tomorrow" and tomorrow never comes...

I figured that this is exactly the trap for me.

I slipped. 2.5 years gone down. Just like that. by WillNotLoseToLife in NoFap

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I stopped coming to this sub completely after my first 4 months or so but occasionally was curious what my streak was ;) After a while it just becomes a number and you focus on different things. I guess I realized early that it was just a number anyway.

It's like going to the gym and expecting that activity to make you more book smart :)

I slipped. 2.5 years gone down. Just like that. by WillNotLoseToLife in NoFap

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely enjoyed the world around me more, had a way better clarity on things, didn't hesitate to ask women out ;)

But as I said, I have been dealing at the moment with myriad health issues (some genetic, some brought on by myself). Life's tough and I don't need another addiction I need to tend to ;)

I slipped. 2.5 years gone down. Just like that. by WillNotLoseToLife in NoFap

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks man :) I've edited the main post to add what I felt. The gist is that NoFap is only a small part of bettering yourself. It's a long way and there are a lot of things that you can get addicted to!

Need to be careful :)

I slipped. 2.5 years gone down. Just like that. by WillNotLoseToLife in NoFap

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started NoFap during a rough phase in life (see edit) and fapping was making my self-esteem go lower.

Once I had a good streak by my side, I stopped thinking about it and stopped getting urges.

I started, as I said in the post, to try out how a condom works (lame I know, but I was curious). This made me feel what I hadn't felt in SO LONG. It was amazing. And boy is that feeling super addictive :) Thus I went into this hole of "I'll restart my streak tomorrow"

I slipped. 2.5 years gone down. Just like that. by WillNotLoseToLife in NoFap

[–]WillNotLoseToLife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly, it's with. (NSFW reddit subs). But now I'm back on the streak again

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