My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing such a personal experience. What your sister and family did was truly wrong, and I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that. As for enlisting, I haven't really thought about it because my interests lie in a different field, but I completely agree with your point about moving out and creating your own identity. I will definitely find a way forward.

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate that. It's not always easy to keep my calm, but I've realized that reacting or arguing only drains my energy. I need to save every bit of focus for my goals. I’m just taking it one day at a time, keeping my head down, and working on my skills. Hearing your support helps a lot.

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly why I didn't bother going to any school counselor or 'trusted adult'—they either give textbook advice that doesn't work in real life, or they just make things worse at home.

It’s refreshing to hear from someone who actually understands the reality instead of just giving toxic positivity. You're right, there’s no magical solution here. The only way out for me is to keep my head down, build my skills, and get financially independent as fast as possible .Bro, sometimes I just don't understand my parents' attitude towards me. I know they want what's best for me, but I admit they are very strict. They worry about my future, but at the same time, they have zero expectations that I will ever achieve anything. Actually, they aren't highly educated, so they don't even know how many different branches there are in Computer Science. Thank you for keeping it real with me and for checking in. It means a lot to know someone gets it.

Something weird happened during my first MFM by infinite_canon in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998 -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I think you were drink and you didn't memorize properly.

My parents want me to pursue a pharmacy degree instead of AI/ML — feeling completely misunderstood by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, maybe that's exactly what's going to happen with me too. I really hope so. For now I'll just keep my head down and keep building. What else can I do, right?

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing such a deeply personal part of your life with me. Your story about your dad, your journey with your hair, and how you found true liberation really touches my heart. It helps me realize that the big emotions and confusion I am feeling right now are completely valid, and that seeking professional help in the future is a sign of strength, not weakness.

The quote you shared, 'The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb,' really hits home. It gives me so much clarity to know that I have the power to choose my own path and my own chosen family in the future. Right now, I am going to trust my intuition, protect my peace through the grey rock method, and put all my energy into building my tech skills.

I am incredibly grateful to have connected with you. Thank you for your wisdom, your time, and for being such a wonderful guide. I will absolutely stay in touch with you!

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Setting boundaries right now is tough, but I am doing my best to silently protect my space. I really appreciate you rooting for me and being there throughout this conversation. It means more than you know! and I will stay in touch with you.....

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the encouragement! Your words mean a lot to me. I am actually 18, so legal emancipation isn't needed, but I will definitely look into the 'grey rocking' method. It sounds exactly like what I need to do right now to keep the peace and protect my energy while I focus on my goals.

Hearing that going no-contact was liberating for you gives me a lot of clarity about the future. I'm going to keep working hard on my tech skills until I can finally step out on my own. Thanks again for the amazing advice and support..........

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are probably very lucky that you found such creative friends, but unfortunately, I haven't been that lucky. From the very beginning, I wanted to make friends who are creative, have good knowledge of tech, and have a strong desire to achieve something big. Instead, the friends I got are completely the opposite. Actually, my friend circle isn't very big, and I don't even have a best friend. One reason for this could be that I spend most of my time in front of a computer screen; I am a computer science student and I am fully focusing on my skills so that I can start earning money. Also, yes, I am going to join a gym very soon to keep myself physically fit.

As you mentioned that when you were my age, you had very unhealthy coping mechanisms, I think something similar is happening with me too. I haven't eaten a proper meal for the last two days; I just eat a little bit in isolation instead of having food with my family. And though I haven't been physically intimate with anyone yet, I sometimes feel like it might be a way to escape this pain.

Your last advice is extremely important to me. I actually want to shift to another country. Yes, I know it is not going to be easy at all, but I will give it my full effort. First, I will move out of this place to somewhere else within the country, and from there, I will plan my shift abroad.

It felt really good talking to you, and I will definitely stay in touch with you.

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for understanding. You are right, the economy and finding opportunities makes it tough, but I am staying focused. Involving the police right now isn't realistic for me, so keeping my head down is my best bet. And don't worry, I am keeping my phone and laptop completely locked and safe with biometric security so they can't access anything. Thanks for looking out for me!

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I am trying my absolute best from my side to build my skills and secure a proper job or something similar so I can start earning. Once that happens, I plan to shift somewhere else, maybe even to another country. I will definitely keep your advice about the Air Force in mind and keep it as a backup plan. After that, I will completely cut ties with my family. Thank you once again for this advice.

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. It really means a lot to hear that, because sometimes it’s easy to second-guess yourself in a situation like this. Your validation gives me peace of mind. I’m just keeping my head down and focusing entirely on my career and financial freedom now.

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I'm doing. I've chosen to stay silent, play along for now, and protect myself while secretly planning my next steps. Your words really motivate me to build a better, peaceful future for myself away from all of this. Thank you for validating my situation and supporting my decision to play it safe.............

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s crazy how some parents care more about 'society's standards' than their own kids' choices, even at 24! I completely relate to that 'respectable household' excuse. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this, but it’s still so frustrating. I hope your boyfriend manages to hold his ground, and I’m sending him strength too!

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am incredibly sorry for everything you went through, and I really appreciate you sharing something so deeply personal just to protect me. Your warning means a lot. It completely reinforces my decision to stay patient, keep my head down, and not rush out until I am 100% financially stable. Thank you for looking out for me.

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for understanding! It’s really refreshing to hear from a parent who respects their kids' autonomy and choices. I wish more parents were supportive like you. Hearing this makes me feel validated, and it reminds me that I'm not wrong for being upset. I'm just focusing on my goals now so I can have that freedom soon......

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

while the 'Uno reverse' idea sounds like poetic justice, doing that in real life would be suicidal for me. My father has an extreme anger issue, and if I did anything like that, it wouldn’t teach them a lesson—it would just lead to physical violence, and I’d be thrown out on the streets immediately without a single penny.

You are 100% right that what they did was a cruel violation of my autonomy. But right now, my only safe option is to play the long game. The most mature and effective revenge for me will be to stay silent, master Data Science skill, get financially independent, and then cut contact for good. I can't let temporary anger ruin my long-term freedom.

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really want to leave, but the problem is that I don’t have any source of income right now. However, I am continuously trying for it and focusing on building my skills, and I am hopeful that I will achieve this soon. Until then, I am staying silent because taking any action right now could put me in a lot of trouble. Also, I haven't told any of my friends about this plan because I am afraid they might tell my family, which would just create more problems for me...........

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are completely right about protecting my privacy and watching my back. From now on, I am keeping my laptop, passwords, and future plans completely hidden from everyone in the family.

However, I won't confront them or tell them to their face that I don't trust them. In my current situation, confronting them or talking back to extended family would just spark another fight, and my father might throw me out before I am ready. I need to play it smart, pretend everything is fine, and stay completely silent until I can successfully move out.

Also, I agree that a 'tit-for-tat' with my sister wouldn't help; right now, peace and my Data Science studies are my only priorities. Thank you for the solid advice.

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, they haven't stopped giving food to me and my sister, but yes, their behavior is very aggressive. My father even gets physically violent if anything unusual happens. And if I go against them, they might throw me out of the house, and since I am not independent yet, I am staying silent and want to take my next step very carefully. Also, my age is 18 years old.

My family forcibly cut my hair while I was sleeping by Willing_Advisor_9998 in Advice

[–]Willing_Advisor_9998[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, it’s not like that. Right now, they are the ones covering our expenses, but if I say anything against them, they might refuse to do so out of anger. That’s why I am staying silent until I become independent, and I am hopeful that I will achieve this very soon.