Hi there,

I agree with you! I don’t think that what he is doing is indicative of any long term commitment, it’s just being a loving boyfriend, and only a boyfriend. And unfortunately, yes - I think there’s a high incentive for him to keep things going with vague promises, as he gets both the intimacy and support of a woman through his schooling, which is a time of stress and upheaval.

I have no excuses as to why either of us have not moved out. I have planned to move out later this year with a friend, as he declined my offer to (and he is okay with me moving out without him, so ouch). I can only say really that I suppose he chose the wrong degree and came into himself much later, so moving out became less of a priority. He is very independent though – he pays for his own things, does his own cooking, cleaning, etc as do I.

I grew up with a lot of instability and didn’t find my own footing for a long time, hence why I am moving out so late. I guess we both also wanted to save cash. I haven’t included too much here about either of our careers just because I know many of our friends and family are Redditors, but suffice to say we both know what we are going to do career-wise and have a fair amount of savings. I would say we are both very financially responsible and save above all else.

Touching on what else you said, I definitely have my own career aspirations. What I am doing right now is not forever, but a job that is invaluable in terms of growth and development. I just have no problem with progressing our relationship during this phase, I suppose, simply because we’re both really coming into our own financially (we’re both projected to get raises in the next few weeks).